Introduce yourself...

kevsheldrake — Fri May 09, 2008 5:05 pm

Author: kevsheldrake

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 5:05 pm

I didn't make it to the Orbit, but I did go to the first Leeds Megadog where Underworld played live (circa dubnobasswithmyheadman era) and the Dust Brothers (before changing their name to the Chemical Brothers) DJed.

Also went to Hard Times at the Music Factory and have 2 hours of interviews with clubbers from one night (a DJ mag party), some of which I used as samples on an ambient track. I saw the Cocteau Twins at the Town and Country (on the guest list!), plus the Orb on another night (although we were in the bar and missed Sun Electric who were supporting; almost as gutting as missing Sven Vath at Tribal Gathering).

Autechre's first album was awesome. I liked all the stuff in Warp's AI series (Aphex Twin, B12, Black Dog, etc) - in fact Bytes by Black Dog is one of my favourite albums ever (and I remember Bjork saying it was her all-time favourite in an interview a few years ago). I saw Speedy J DJ in Nottingham and, given the 'armchair techno' sound of album Ginger, I was surprised at the mental techno he played. I had a similar experience in Bournemouth years later when Andy Weatherall played a seamless German techno set at Millennium, that didn't change key until the last half hour where it went all acid and break-beat and the drum patterns no longer made any sense and it was impossible to dance to. (It was as if it flicked between 4/4, 3/4 and 5/4 every few bars - almost like something by the Aphex Twin!)

Sven Vath's first album (An Accident in Paradise) was really good. This takes me back to my time at Uni; I really should listen to them all again.

On a related note, I received Portishead's Third album today and I'm really impressed; just what the doctor ordered. Underworld's latest offering is also pretty good.

One of my few claims to fame is interviewing Bill Drummand (KLF/K Foundation) and Mark Manning (Zodiac Mindwarp) at their book reading in Fibbers in York. The book was Bad Wisdom and is recommended reading for anyone interested in how their minds work. I also made it to one of the 23 showings of the K Foundation's film where they burned a million quid. I might cut up the quotes and use them as samples for a track - I bought a 303 clone and a 909 clone and still haven't used them in anger.

Seeing as this is the 'introductions' thread and I haven't actually introduced myself (I was a regular poster before the thread was started), I suppose I should. I'm an information security consultant and I advise on and test the security of complex and sensitive IT systems. I've been a hypnotist for a few years and work with Ant on stage hypnosis routines and products and I'm one of the driving forces behind HypnoAttack. I'm into street hypnosis and do the odd bit of hypnotherapy.

You'll often find me offering advice where I feel that I can. You'll sometimes find me pushing views that may challenge others' views; it's not personal but I think it is essential on a forum such as this that facts are separated from opinion. I usually think it is better to accept that there are things that are not known, rather than construct a possibly limiting model in an attempt to explain them.

Anyway, I didn't intend to write such a long post.

Kev

Need support

Pookie — Fri May 09, 2008 4:58 pm

Author: Pookie

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:58 pm

Hi Confusedli,

This is such a great statement:

quote:
feel that maybe I should leave him, coz inevitably I am just going to make him unhappy!

This is the voice of depression, personified. I hope that my following observations, will help you to see how your depression is distorting your view of reality. I have a rule, that I will not make any important decisions whilst under the influence of depression due to this distortion of reality.

Firstly, we think thoughts and we feel emotions. We can't feel thoughts - although thoughts may give rise to emotions. We also often try to rationalise the emotions that we feel, using logical thoughts - in my experience this doesn't work - we feel the way that we feel for reasons beyond our comprehension.

If you actually left him for the reasons that you stated, it would be immoral (however there is nothing immoral about the thought coming into your mind). If he was to actually feel unhappy in your relationship at some future date, it must be his decision to leave if he wants to. Try reversing the situation. Imagine that your boyfriend came to you and said "I am leaving you, because I think that you might be unhappy one day".

You might reply "Well I certainly will be unhappy some days, and I will also be certainly happy on other days. You will behave sometimes well and sometimes badly towards me, and we will disagree about which behaviour is which. But you cannot make me either happy or unhappy. I am responsible for my own happiness. Sometimes my reactions to what I believe is your bad behaviour will make me feel unhappy (although this will most often actually be because of a misunderstanding, or mis-communication between us). It is up to me to decide if this happens too often or too grievously. It would be up to me to decide to leave you in these circumstances. If you are unhappy, then you can decide to leave me - but do so honestly."

Is that clear. You have no right to make this decision on his behalf, without even bothering to consult him on how he actually feels, rather than imagining how you think he might feel (through the distorting lens of your depression).

But, it is very important to remember, that you do feel how you feel. What I believe you want, is to be able to talk to him about how you feel. But you will need him to listen in the following way:

He needs to listen to what you say, without becoming emotionally involved or burdened himself;
He needs to try to understand how it feels to feel the way that you do (it doesn't actually matter if he succeeds in understanding - it is trying that is important);
He must regard the feelings that you talk about as being 'technical problems for which he must suggest 'technical' fixes.

Finally, regarding the 'inevitability' of you causing him future unhappiness.
We actually experience life in the present, not the future. If you keep taking care of every present moment as you experience it, then you have also taken care of the future as it arrives.

So, if you are feeling unhappy right now, then do something right now to help you feel better - like going for a walk in the park, and looking at the beautiful flowers and animals there.

I hope that you found these ideas helpful.

Best Wishes,

John

Anxiety affects on stomach

suesunshine — Fri May 09, 2008 4:54 pm

Author: suesunshine

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:54 pm

I've been suffering anxiety and panic attacks for three months now and am on Citalopram. My main problem is hyperventilation. I've tried breathing techniques but my abdominal muscles tighten when I'm anxious and I find breathing from my diaphram difficult.

Does anyone else get aching stomach muscles and tightness with anxiety? When I'm relaxed so is my stomach but as soon as my anxiety hits me then my stomach tenses up and this causes stitch like pains.

Heart skips a beat--"PVC's"

DebraJ — Fri May 09, 2008 4:54 pm

Author: DebraJ

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:54 pm

Hi again ~
The part I forgot to re-type:
I was in the ER (as many here, my symptoms subsided almost as soon as I was thru the door ) they tested my thryoid.. it was then borderline over-active. Now, a few yrs later it is border line under-active.
This is how I found the oils mentioned above. I take the Thyroid Wellness Oil in the morning and night. Mega Heart Wellness and Lymphatic Wellness every day as well. I put Calm Wellness in my bath. You can use up to 10 different oils at a time.

RE supplements:
KELP is good to regulate the Thyroid. I also found that POTASSIUM supplementation has helped. MAGNESIUM too. I take CAYENNE caps (Cool version) again and I feel better this past week that I have been doing so. I added GARLIC caps again too---Better circulation going on! Co Q 10 as others have mentioned, HAWTHORN - HeartCare by Natures Way is best.. I would not be without it !! Have taken it for over 20 yrs now. It is one you can take every day with no problem...strengthens & regulates the heart. OMEGA 3-6-9 is another good thing for your heart. B 12 for nerves. CALMS FORTE (homeopathic) for sleep and nerves. DIGESTIVE ENZYMES a must for me... And a good PROBIOTIC.
HERBALIFE NITEWORS was recommended to me.. it is pretty expensive...but very good for the heart, viens, arteries, circulation.

K.. thats all I can remember and have time for !
Happy Days all !

Moclobemide

*Nihilistic One* — Fri May 09, 2008 4:47 pm

Author: *Nihilistic One*

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:47 pm

quote:
Originally posted by jano

quote:
Originally posted by *Nihilistic One*
jano, my apologies if you have answered this question before, but did you not have success with a non reversible MAOI before somebody decided to tinker with your meds?

Yes great success. This is a new version on a theme that doesn't have such restrictions on diet and bad interaction with other meds. I really don't want to go back onthe older ones and today have been advised to persevere for a little longer. This is easier said than done!
jano

How long have you persevered for?

There comes a time when you may have to tactfully tell your medical team that the drug is useless.

If you are talking about weeks instead of months, then keep going. Even then I fully understand how frustrating it can be.

Blood Tests!

littlegem36 — Fri May 09, 2008 4:45 pm

Author: littlegem36

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:45 pm

quote:
Originally posted by katie2157
Hey again guys,
I finally got my results today - Everything is fine (Blood glucose, thyroid, liver, kidneys, bones, and something which tests for inflammation came back normal) Just a raised level of white blood cells, apparently this is fine and usually indicates the body is fighting infection - normal for this time of year.
Im feeling quite happy and relieved, and really have got to start accepting my lifestyle (diet and lack of exercise), stress and constant worrying is probably to blame for my health related anxiety! Having CBT in two weeks, going to keep this going for a while but generally feel released from the majority of my worries. I might also look into some of supplements recommended by people on here as well, after all what harm can they do!
I just have to face being called the biggest hypochondriac out there by my family!! lol
Katie

Hi glad to hear you got your results and put your mind at rest i went for my second bloods on thursday for vit b dificency and a test to see if my body is absorbing it will get them results on wensday or friday then if they are the same vit b very low i will have vit b injections its just the waiting game now to get sorted and hopefully i will start to feel better then they will look in to my under active thiroad i have felt like this for 16 years and now i hope this will help me on the road to recovey to build my confidence up to do normal every day things

suicidal thoughts

*Nihilistic One* — Fri May 09, 2008 4:43 pm

Author: *Nihilistic One*

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:43 pm

quote:
Originally posted by noobie
i keep having them what should i do

Get yourself a proper psychiatric assessment.

You should be dealing with somebody that has knowledge of mood disorders.

GP's can only do so much.

Just got out of hospital.

*Nihilistic One* — Fri May 09, 2008 4:41 pm

Author: *Nihilistic One*

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:41 pm

quote:
Originally posted by godhatesusall
meds are the same but I'm now on a weekly prescription. The "professionals" that I saw were the crisis team from the local mental hospital (Saint Clement's).

Ah. They can be helpful for some, but not appropriate for others.

What is the difference in the way your meds are prescribed?

I take benzodiazepines and used to have them dispensed weekly.

Is it medication of that nature?

handshake interrupt

kevsheldrake — Fri May 09, 2008 4:29 pm

Author: kevsheldrake

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:29 pm

Well done.

Kev

How do you live a purposeful life?

WizardofOZz — Fri May 09, 2008 4:15 pm

Author: WizardofOZz

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 4:15 pm

You may find this a stupid question but,

what do you all do to make your days purposeful?
or what do you do to make a difference?

Is he depressed...and how can I help him?

Pookie — Fri May 09, 2008 3:59 pm

Author: Pookie

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:59 pm

Hi tinnyjo,

You may find the following article helpful:

http://www.massgeneral.org/children/adolescenthealth/articles/aa_testicular_disorders.aspx

In particular, you may wish to show him the following extracts:

quote:
The testicles are male gonads, which serve dual functions: production of spermatozoa and the synthesis of the male hormone testosterone. During puberty the testicles increase in size from a volume of about four ccs (peanut size to about the size of a walnut (twenty-five ccs) at the end of development. Spermatozoa and testosterone are produced soon after a boy begins puberty. Clinicians who provide care for adolescent males will often do a complete genital examination at the annual checkups. This includes a painless examination of each testicle.

His underpants could well have become too tight. It may be worth trying some different styles of underpants (e.g. trunks, ratrher than briefs or boxers), to see which are most comfortable.

quote:
The most common testicular pain in adolescent males is termed “ blue balls.” This is not a medical entity nor is “blue balls” a medical word. Most clinicians who specialize in adolescents know about this entity. Discomfort in the testes or scrotum may occur from sexual arousal. Most than likely, the male with “blue balls” develops testicular pain from slowed venous drainage due to the sexual arousal. “Blue balls” are a benign entity. Ejaculation is said to relieve the discomfort that can range from mild to severe in intensity.

The solution would appear to be a 'Jazz-Mag' and some Kleenex.

Any man can tell you that a prolonged abstinence of sexual release, can make your balls hurt (at any age). Your son has no direct experience of this, and so of course it doesn't feel normal. Did your own puberty feel normal, or were you reassured by other women at that time of your life?

Please do not be drawn into the fantasy, that his pain may be due to any of the other medical conditions mentioned in the article. Your doctor has specifically verified that this is not the case.

I hope that this helps.

John

problems

gozinsky — Fri May 09, 2008 3:53 pm

Author: gozinsky

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:53 pm

Thanks again all you guys for your responses. It's been really inspiring for me. I tend to get way too involved with my negative inner voices and everything else falls away. It's really good to have some outside input that's positive. Shit, I look at what's been going on with me just in my head and it's pretty scary. I don't know why I have such negative ways of thinking. I don't even realize it most of the time, the way I'm boxing myself in with all these really bad thoughts about myself. I can wake up and immediately have myself in the fetal position with all this judgemental, critical, condemning sort of thinking and not even realize what's going on. Like you say not to think about the homelessness thing. That helps so much and gives me a lot of hope, because all I have been doing is thinking about it and thinking about it and it gets me nowhere, so maybe if I can get my mind off of it, it might get better.

Stopping smoking weed....again!

fluke — Fri May 09, 2008 3:47 pm

Author: fluke

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:47 pm

great thread. has given me more motivation than i could have hoped for.was sooo close to phoning my dealer after having a stressfull day or two(been weed free a week)...but after reading this thread i feel like i have had a slight boost of resolve.what an amzing diary, and i thank you very sincerely for posting on here WalkingThePath.

Overcoming a conversational barrier

eyesandears — Fri May 09, 2008 3:19 pm

Author: eyesandears

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:19 pm

Again, thanks for the advice

It's been 1 year... I can't believe I made it so far!

strengthtochange — Fri May 09, 2008 3:12 pm

Author: strengthtochange

Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 3:12 pm

Hi Mindpecker - I don't have much time to write, already late for work, but i just have to say your post is awesome! congrats on the year! it must feel amazing and you deserve all the sense of accomplishment you are feeling. we all know what a hard crawl this is.
as for me, i'm doing well. still battling cravings especially when i get home after work, but i'm focusing on what's going well for me. I'm more physically active than i've been in years - and i know that would vanish in a cloud of smoke if i were to go back. so, it's tough and emotional and all that, but i'm working on all of it and living life. relearning to live as you once said on my thread...
i'm so happy for you - you are an inspiration to me.
best wishes,
a.

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