diaries of a guy who lives hard days

desperate788 — Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:15 pm

Author: desperate788

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:15 pm

worries rise..is everything ok?

GAIN POWERFUL CONFIDENCE IN 26 MINUTES FLAT!!!

specs3d — Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:57 pm

Author: specs3d

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:57 pm

The Best Self-Esteem is found here... http://www.nicholasfinnegan.com/
there are no exceptions to this read it and see for yourself

Any1 Wanna quit with me for a new life

thejudder — Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:53 pm

Author: thejudder

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:53 pm

all else has failed so im at the end of the first day of a 3 day fast...

drinking warm water with cayanne and lemon in it.

I know this will work. just gotta get thru it

missus gone away to family party for the weekend so im using this opportunity to fast as its pretty impossible with her here.

hope everythings still good for you hazey

Noise/sound anxiety please help

feelingdown — Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:29 pm

Author: feelingdown

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:29 pm

Hi.

I am increasingly suffering from noise/sound anxiety and wondered how it can be prevented or cured.

By noise/sounds I mean things like loud cars, hearing the neighbours talking etc.

Does anyone else suffer like this as its beginning to get me down?

Many thanks.

Bitter and cynical people

Melinda01 — Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:27 pm

Author: Melinda01

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:27 pm

How should one deal with a bitter andf cynical person?
Does fighting fire with fire help when it comes to a bitter person?
Or should you be positive about them, aknowledging their positive qualities and make them feel appreciated? Will they appreciate it?
Ignore them maybe?
Explain to them that their behaviour stinks?

What is the best way to come in terms with a bitter person that all they have to say is in a cynical way?

Wife introducing kids to new partner?!?!?!?!?

PsyChris — Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:18 pm

Author: PsyChris

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 9:18 pm

Hello patm2345,

I am sorry for the hard time you are going through right now. Unfortunately, I think this situation is long from settled. You both still have a few more hurdles to go through as attitudes change. Try to remember how important your children are in this process and it's important they know your problems with your wife are not their fault.

Your wife is guilty of an impulsive decision called an affair. She is in the ultimate phase of "the other mans grass is always greener." That will fade and she will come to realize what a terrible mistakes she has made (those other hurdles I spoke of).

I suspect the fact she wants structured contact with her children is because she DOES care about them and is starting to feel some pangs of immense guilt over your separation. It is atypical for the male to have primary custody of the children.

I think one of your goals should be for your kids to have a stable life wherever they are. I'm assuming they are younger and don't quite grasp the concept of divorce. Your wife is probbaly just introducing him as a friend and it should stay that way for a while. I don't know very many affairs that end in marriage, so I wouldn't be too worried about that.

I hope things get better for you and you are able to make some sense of this all.

Problems with work colleagues.

Annie7788 — Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:59 pm

Author: Annie7788

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:59 pm

Ive found it's never a great idea to be too friendly with your boss. There is an imbalance of power in that relationship & its not in your favour.

Based on my experience of work politics, your main mistake was in telling him what people were saying about him. That is a no-no in any situation because you end up being seen as a messenger of bad news. Also it will have made him think that you cannot be trusted, because if youre telling him what people are saying you may be telling them what he says in response so you could have been marked down as a stirrer.

You are probably on the right track in giving him space. Once something has soured deal with it like old milk. Throw it out and forget it. The friendship is gone. I'd keep things as professional as possible going forward and find yourself a new best man.

A return to flying

studentofthegame — Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:10 pm

Author: studentofthegame

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:10 pm

hi cooler

i havent flown for 3 years (ive previously been on 11 hour flights on my own without too much problem) and i'm going to be flying again in january. apprehension is definitely creeping in, i wanted an alternative way of travelling but didnt want to tell me mate i was nervous about flying.

well done for overcoming this fear

My first love - gone sour...

Twenties — Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:07 pm

Author: Twenties

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:07 pm

I can relate to you; my last relationship was similar. Once thing that's hopefully clear to you now is that it's best that it's over. I wanted to reply for a different reason, though. I was once very unhappy at a particular school. I changed places, and my life got much better. Same with my last job. I just couldn't relate to some of the German guys there. I changed my job and came together with other people, and things again got much better. So yes, if you can change places without too much time lost, I think you should consider it. It can work.

Also if you stay, I think there's still a danger that you'll get back together with your ex, then break up again, then get back together, break up again and so on. Happened several times before so... I really think that being in this chaos is the last thing you need now, so if you can change places easily I would. If you can't, I am sure you can find a way to live where you are now, too. Just ignore him completely. Don't even say hi, and find new friends.

Here again...

studentofthegame — Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:06 pm

Author: studentofthegame

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 8:06 pm

quote:
Originally posted by lightanddark

Hi studentof the game, last time just supportive comments I guess, lots of people sharing similar feelings and thoughts which took the aloneness out of it. It was a frightneing time so just knowing there were people out there was great. It's not a place I want to go back to hence the comments about going to GP.

Also encouragement to have good diet, take care of myself plus feedback from other people on same meds. But mainly lots of supportive comments and to hang on in there as it will get better. You in a similar place?

i was very low a couple of months back. really all over the place

i'm another that returned to these forums, initially it was 2005 when i was on here asking for help, got some good advice and took it on board but never put it into practise

since i've been back i've been gradually introducing the hypoglycemic diet, and basically reading my way back to wellness.

wellness is a good word, and there is a route there for everybody

Is it normal to punish myself because others hurt me?

studentofthegame — Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:58 pm

Author: studentofthegame

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:58 pm

start reading homecoming by john bradshaw.it might help you deal with your past

in the mean-time, when you feel the need to punish yourself, use that energy to 'punish' yourself in a more productive way - go for a run or a work-out maybe. it will help on many levels,

increasing your excercise and altering your diet slightly will also pay for you.

this is a useful article, credit jurplesman: http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/self-help_personal_growth.html

whats happened

desperate788 — Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:55 pm

Author: desperate788

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:55 pm

hello:) I know my posts are too short, ı can't think of anything interesting to post..

Don't like being feminine

thefool — Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:33 pm

Author: thefool

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 7:33 pm

quote:
Originally posted by Triarius
OMG that's terrible! Bad!

Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts! *delete* lol

I agree it was terrible, haha.

quote:
Originally posted by Ruby88
Anywaaaaaaay......

Right! Back to the subject at hand then...

I relapsed.

2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily — Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:33 pm

Author: 2 Old 2 B Buzzed Daily

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:33 pm

quote:
Originally posted by cali3365

Me; 30 yrs old/male
Smoking for 14.5 years
8 years every day on average
Quit 3 times (last year 2 months, this year 2 months and 3 months)
Currently smoking (last night i smoked)

Recently I've been able to conrtol my habbit, smoking for 3-5 days straight a few bowls at night. Then I may not smoke for 2-4 days becuase im spending time with my girl or im busy with work . BUT- i noticed that the days im not smoking I seem to get real parinoid, and get real heavy mood swings more intense then before. I've been researching BPD (borderline personality disorders), and other charecteristics to limited types of physcosis but realized i don't fall into any of those dramatic symptoms. I did find some research studies on how THC checmically effects portions of the brain that would intesify these types of feelings.

quote:
Originally posted by YacketySax

Hi!

Re: Do you find the negative effects are worst when moderation
http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=545277#545277

Last couple of months ive had my usual amount of quit attempts, though ive only managed to string 10 days together, ive smoked a lot less of late. Had many more smoke free days than I have smoking days.

I am a non smoker(cigs), though when smoking weed, do so mixed with tobacco.

I havent been trying to moderate, just quitting/relapsing/quitting/relapsing etc etc etc. So doing it by default.

But what I have really noticed of late, is that the effects of the smoking seem far worst when doing it this way. My throat gets sore very quickly, I am coughing stuff up, and when I smoke it almost seems to make me feel ill.

Ive been reading around a bit on the internet and have found some sort of an explanation for this. It seems to do with the little hairs, that clear out your lungs and airways start to grow back when you stop smoking. I think that is why when I stop smoking, after a couple of days I am always coughing up stuff with what looks like brown tar in it.

This stops after a short while, and then I feel fairly clean and fresh again. But as soon as I smoke, even if it is just a few spliffs, it feels terrible. I really seem to notice how bad smoking is for you, and can almost feel the damage it is doing with each drag.

This, coupled with the constant headache of trying to decide when to and when not to smoke, is why I cant moderate weed. I prefer to smoke it daily than put myself through the torture of moderation.

I think ive had 3 quit attempts in the last 6 weeks where I have lasted 7-10 days without smoking, though keep getting lurred back in. Though each time, it is about 3 days max before I want to quit again, I even ended up flushing some down the toilet the other night, all because I just couldnt face finishing off the bag.

On the whole I feel good when im not smoking, there are benefits, and for 95% of the day I am more than happy to be a non smoker. But every now and again, I just get that urge, and I just think about how great it would be to just buy a bag of weed and smoke it, then just lie on the floor stoned!

The only trouble being as soon as ive done that, by the time ive finished the bag off im addicted to tobacco though and just start smoking it by habit. Start smoking without even thining about it. Once ive smoked that first one, its every hour, on the hour. Then I feel bad. Then I feel the need to quit.

Im at the point now where I dont hate weed. I just hate smoking. The laziness, weird thoughts, slight anxiety and social awkwardness I can deal with. In a strange way, I think i might even enjoy it! The bad chest, sore throat and crippled lungs I cant deal with. This worries me.

If there were no physical health implication of smoking, id go with it. But there are, and as i get older i can start to feel them. And these little breaks from smoking seem to make me notice them more.

They say all things in moderation, but I know I cant moderate weed. For me personally it just doesnt work. It sounds silly, but I am starting to come to the conclusion that smoking in moderation is actually worst for than smoking every day?

The body just doesnt seem to know if it is coming or going! It starts to heal for a few days, then all of a sudden the smoke and chemicals come pouring back in! Then theyve gone again, and just as the body starts to adjust back,then in comes another load!

Does anyone else find moderation worst than perma stoned?!

Im not advocating being perma stoned by the way. My personal views are that is has to be all or nothing, with nothing being by far the superior of the two opttions.

Hi cali3365

I have included a similar recent post that has raised the same questions as you. I agree, smoking a few bowls for 3 or 4 days in a row will bring on anxiety and real heavy mood swings more intense then before.

For the last 10 months I have smoked very little, occasionally. I noticed that if I had only 3 or 4 hits the buzz was fairly enjoyable most of the time. If I smoked more then that or a few days in a row, the anxiety, bad side effects and weed hangover quickly became evident. I never understood why until I ran across an interesting scientific article that made a lot of sense.

P.S. I am not trying to justify moderation , the way to go is not to smoke at all but… less in = less out. In my opinion it is not possible to smoke just very occasionally if you have a stash at home.

http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2008/01/smoke_weed_in_moderation.php

quote:
There is a general consensus that the effects of cannabinoid agonists on anxiety seem to be biphasic, with low doses being anxiolytic and high doses ineffective or possibly anxiogenic. Besides the behavioural effects of cannabinoids on anxiety, very few papers have dealt with the neuroanatomical sites of these effects.

In other words, a good high works in the prefrontal cortex and ventral hippocampus while a bad high turns on the amygdala. As most pot smokers eventually discover, there is a fine pharmacological line between comic relaxation and vague paranoia.

quote:

quote:
Originally posted by baa6
very interesting. makes total sense as that is what i feel when i only have a little and only once in awhile.

Right or wrong?

GreyArea — Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:12 pm

Author: GreyArea

Posted: Fri Nov 20, 2009 6:12 pm

Thanks people, appreciate it. I actually really do need the money - I am emigrating from London to Melbourne, and need to get rid of the car to fund some of the activities tyhere, and pay off a credit card here before I go.

The guy got rich as a gournalist/editor, very clever man, but I think I can use that to my adavantage. He is the type who always has to go/be one better. If you broke a leg, he broke both of his type person.

He drove down here today in a Ford Mondeo! A FORD and the guy is worth millions!!!! I'm going to use his long journey here as part of my induction, I am also throwing in things in the conversation to look for his responses, trying to make up my mind on a tactic. He is my parenets house guest this evening so I have a little time to figure him out. I'll let you know if I have any success.... :O)

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