Girlfriend's anxiety is causing doubts of our relationship??

dbros94 — Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:10 am

Author: dbros94

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:10 am

Hi my name is Dylan and i love my girlfriend more than anything else in the world. we've been together for almost 7 months and ive never been happier. my girlfriend and i both have suffered from anxiety and depression for many years and we are only 17. i am very insightful and not in the least bit naive.... point being that i know that a teenage relationship will not usually work out in the end for one reason or another. But i truly believe that we have to potential to be together forever. lately my girlfriend (Brooke) has been having feelings that come along with her anxiety. These feelings include questioning our love and our relationship. Apparently thee feelings go away when her anxiety goes away which is an on and off thing yet very constant. This bothers me to the point where im sitting here crying my eyes out like a little baby. i cant stand to hear that my girlfriend, at times, feels as if she doesn't love me. i have HORRIBLE anxiety and depression and i have never once thought of our relationship in such a negative way. I'm really upset and I'm sick of crying myself to sleep i need help I'm seeing both a psychiatrist and psychologist. i am perscribed meds for my problems as is Brooke but she still has these felings and my anxiety is constantly through the rough despite the prescribed doses of xanax, klonapin and Prozac. Brooke is prescribed Lithium welbutrim and a number of things for her anxiety/ depression. i don't like all the meds shes on and i feel it might play a role in the feelings she is having. im not really sure what kind of answer im looking for but i have nowhere else to turn somebody please help me

BTW please dont respond like your talking to a kid

Day 1 of quitting

tbundz — Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:08 am

Author: tbundz

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:08 am

Hi ive just started quitting today aswell havent smoked since this last night been smoking about 5 years every single day with out fail and its time to stop..

i just feel like im letting my life slip through my fingers, ive stopped once before for almost 2 months i thinked and i felt great, fresh and could see and hear things i couldnt before, my siocialising and communication was better. didnt take me ages to process what someones tellin me. i want that feeling again..

i just now when ive stopped ill be much happier and more active, and just ready for what life brings.

i was reading a post earlier about when your high and the doorbell goes off or your phone rings and you just want everyone to go away, i get that and thought it was just me but hearing it from someone has realy helped in that im not the only person. and all that sort of behaviour has to stop its quite pathectic really.

day 1 weel its day 2 because i last smoke about 12 yesterday. finding it hard to sleep

Meh, relapsed.

BruceWasAStoner — Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:52 am

Author: BruceWasAStoner

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:52 am

For sure man. We're all in this together. You're 1st week is going to be fun (in a sarcastic way), so get ready for a rough ride.

I hope the symptoms I've had before won't be as bad. Good luck to all of us and keep your chin up as well!

Need some help, really don't know what to do

J.Vendez — Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:38 am

Author: J.Vendez

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:38 am

This may seem silly, or stupid idk
But i worry about her a lot. She has caused me lots of heartache, and there are many times i question the relationship because she causes me a lot of stress. But i worry that if i break up with her that she is going to do something stupid and i will to be blamed.

This is my first relationship which makes it very hard for me. Her family likes me, my family likes her, but i have people on my side who support me. But i am worried that if i break up with her, she has no one, and she is that kind of person who will hurt themselves. I hate taking this caretaker role, but i almost feel obligated in this relationship. She cheated on me a few months ago and it still stings and whenever i bring up anything i get daggers, and she wants to end it.

This has a lot of weight barring down on my mind and it keeps me up at night always thinking about what will happen if we fight, will she cheat on me, will she leave me. It is the worst feeling i have ever had in my life.

John

Tired and I can't fix this....

Fixer — Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:30 am

Author: Fixer

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:30 am

My husband is suffering from depression. And I'm beginning to feel like our family is like those Cymbalta commercials on TV. Over the last three years, he was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's Disease at a very young age (39), lost his father, lost his job, had a testical removed due to a cancer scare, was diagnosed with a hole in his heart that was thankfully repaired, and had viral cardiomyopathy. Not necessarily in that order.

I'm a fixer. I don't know what to do. I'm heartbroken for him as I know that I don't know what he's exactly going through but I'm frustrated. I worry because I also know that all of this is having an affect on our oldest daughter who is 15. He's had a few jobs this last year but is currently unemployed. I know he's looking for a new job but sometimes I feel that he's not really putting forth the effort and I'm afraid I'm starting to feel resentful for the pressure it puts me under. I'm blessed to have a good job - thank God! So much so that people have made comments to me wondering if he really doesn't want to work. I don't know. I think he does but I feel he could be doing a lot more to get a job - any job. I don't want to sound like a crabby wife so I try not to say too much. It's like walking on eggshells which I'm not particularly good at. So then after holding things in for a while I will ultimately say something that doesn't sit well. I feel I've been supportive, I don't know if he would agree or not.

He was going to therapy at the start of 2011 but for a long time refused to go. Thankfully he just started back last week and we are taking our daughter to a therapist starting this week to try to help her talk through what is on her mind and perhaps give them both some coping skills.

I've thought about walking away because I'm just at my wits end and am so tired. Not tired of him but just tired. But in my heart I don't want to. I want to stick by him and really show him I'm here for him but I'm finding it increasingly hard. I get mad at him. I don't know how to cope with this. I think he's not doing enough and then I think I'm being too hard on him. It's a roller coaster for me too, emotionally.

He went through a bout a few months ago where I worried he might harm himself. Now I think he's in a better place but it's a roller coaster.

Any words of advice???

Hello

WizdieniEmife — Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:24 am

Author: WizdieniEmife

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:24 am

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Hello

WizdieniEmife — Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:21 am

Author: WizdieniEmife

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:21 am

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Trouble moving on...

ArnoChiba — Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:15 am

Author: ArnoChiba

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:15 am

Hey man , There are two books I would Recommend reading

1 - Lucid Dreaming, by Tony Crisp
2 - The Multi Orgasmic man

It seems that you have a lot of built up sexual energy that has no choice but to conjure up visual fantasy. I am the similar except it happens with most beautiful women I see not just one.

If you learn a bit more about how your concious awareness affects your un consious you could have a key for yourself! and if you monitored conciously your arousal levels you could re create your love life with your current beauty by conciously redirecting your focus to YOUR NOW!!

Be kind and mature about de friending the ex and maybe use something like " I will always look back with fondness on what we had, having said that life keeps moving and to keep someone close in a social circle when there are clearly issues that could arrise should be avoided. not in a negative way but more in a positive way, like WE are both great people with alot of potential for our futures lets NOW start building our own lives in our own directions type of thing!! everything happens for a reason!

You'll get over it bra,

I hope this can help a bit man !

ArnoChiba

Going off the weed, part 3

Nelson80 — Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:02 am

Author: Nelson80

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 3:02 am

I've known for some time that in order to succeed in this you need to just move on and live your life. If you are finding yourself still obsessing about weed then perhaps take a step back and analyse, maybe you are not ready? I've had a few good chunks of time over the last three years and I'm proud of those. Each time it was my attitude that seen me through. This attitude, and I don't know where exactly it comes from, is what happens when I get so frustrated and down about my life's situation that I make the choice and decide that I need to change. No one tells me I need to change, I don't do it through pressure, I do it because I have to. Its me that drives me to do it. Once I reach this state - stopping is relatively easy. You need to be educated on this in order to win. The lifestyle that goes along with this is a hard one to break away from and you need to learn what to expect, you need to learn how to deal with the things that you come to learn to expect. You need to develop some sort of support system, a network of people and things you can turn to. Some may be able to wake one day and say enough is enough but I believe the vast majority of us don't have this ability, unfortunately.

Good luck to all!

Cool Songs.

theforsaken — Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:59 am

Author: theforsaken

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:59 am

also on the new BT album, there's alot of close seconds, but this would have to be my favourite song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_Mj9Ln-Vis&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PLD4E5247A85DA8D69

First hour --The event Horizon is upon me.

ArnoChiba — Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:51 am

Author: ArnoChiba

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:51 am

Hey everyone,

I want to share a bit about whyi'm here.

Why I have habitual addictive tendencies can most likely be traced through my experiences in life. I grew up in a home where there was a compulsive gambling addiction. The mismanaged money scared me and i couldn't understand it.

I have a cannabis addiction. I am 25 and I started to smoke weed causually at 18 when I moved away after highschool to work. I had been making a substantial amount of money for an 18 year old and with no long term plan in mind for that flow, I created an alternate mode of time spending which was getting high. When I first Got high one night Things were never the same.

I have lost an amazing girlfriend in my life because of my compulsive habit and thinking of that it hurts! I also know I am only 25 so I am taking the time to look at this whole mess from multiple new angles. I believe everything happens for a reason. I am here to change my life !

Over the past 7 years of my life I have transformed from a super social person to a paranoid semi anti social/ periodic recluse. I fully understand that I and all of you have so much potential in this life and Thats why I am treating tonight like an OATH!!

I ArnoChiba Will abstain from here on out!

I hope everyone out there is doing their best!

-ArnoChiba

Addicted to gaming

ArnoChiba — Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:12 am

Author: ArnoChiba

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 2:12 am

Hey Ladon,

I have a different addiction, mine is Cannabis. Tonight at 9:55 pm Atlantic time.

I declare I quit. I have been putting my problem off by giving myself excuses day after day after day with weed.

If you're here because of your gaming addiction, It makes me wonder what your social activity is like on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. Because with my addiction and my want to crush it this is one of my main focuses ( re activating my social side)

I don't know much about gaming besides the fact that I've never really gotten into it. ( except for NES )

Moderation of time playing games intially could be a great benefit. Maybe even journalling here when you get intense desires to game but want to abstain. There are supportive folks out here! and I am definately interested in the people here and what we're all doing. (TAKING ACTION)

Another thing I wanted to mention is, seeing as i know zero about you I don't know what your level of hygiene is but if you were a good friend and had poor hygiene of any sort which I have had the pleasure of having some gamer friends in that position, i will share this! shower,shave,(brush,floss morning and night) , write what you eat for breakfast, lunch, supper and snacks daily, maybe even monitor your water. Starting to do something like that daily if you haven't been can literally have an instant mini transformative feeling/reality with you. confidence.

Anyway I'm here for you and there are more FUR SURE! youtube workaholics - fur sure!

ArnoChiba

Failing college student because of weed addiction

Archeothyris — Sun Feb 05, 2012 1:50 am

Author: Archeothyris

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 1:50 am

Hey there missbibbledoo,

I'm happy it's all going good for you, and great you're keeping up the exercise! 1 coffee a day? That's something I could not manage, sitting at a computer all day I'd be lost without it. Luckily I've always drank plenty of water so i find cutting out soft drinks fairly easy, i just add sugar free cordial to it and it does me fine. I am partial to some wine myself, consuming a fair bit over the past couple of nights (woops!), but thankfully it didn't cause a relapse even considering my friends were around me passing joints around.
The problem is, the wine has sapped all my energy and motivation. I'm feeling a bit down today and been in bed all day! Well, it is a Sunday and it's snowing, the perfect excuse.
I've been exercising all week and found that the days I did I felt great, so much more energy and confidence, but not today, no exercise and i feel bummed out.. I'll go for a run tomorrow i think.

Do you find that back before you quit, when you were stoned and feeling all depressed, you think to yourself that you could have accomplished so much more if you were sober? I find that the reality is sometimes a disappointment, especially on days like today, I've been even more lazy than if I'd been stoned! Then because you've let yourself down you start thinking about old Mary Jane again... It's in this state of mind that usually I'm susceptible to a relapse. Thankfully I've become aware of this in the past and saw it coming, it just taught me more about myself, perhaps when I'm sober I'm not always this productive, positive and energetic person, i just have my lazy days too, just like everybody else, and that I mustn't beat myself about it and get all down, just sleep on it and aim for a positive start to the next day.

That's great that you're feeling so positive, I can tell you're feeling on top of the world, and keeping yourself so busy, that's the key.. Setting yourself daily targets keeps me going, even if I don't get everything done i know at least I've done achieved something. I know, the withdrawals can grab a hold of you at any moment, but I'm glad you recognized this and managed to get yourself out a rut.

You're lucky that you've got a friend in this with you now, I think you're more likely to keep going when you're in it with somebody else, hopefully they're as serious about quitting as you are!

I know, the driving always used to make me paranoid, it was always an eye-drops in and hope for the best lol.. Now i feel so much more confident. Some bastard drove into my car and smashed off my front license plate last night, it'll take a few days to replace but when I was driving around earlier I was thinking this would be the perfect excuse for the police to pull me over, but I was ok with it, it's a legit excuse and now I've got NOTHING TO HIDE. What a great feeling.

Weed effects everybody in different ways and I know people who's been smoking it for longer than me and have never even felt depressed or anxious, well, not enough for them to want to quit. I was smoking it for 8 years, about 3 years chronic, but that was more than enough for me, the relationship went sour! The funny thing was up until I found this site I thought I was the only person to feel that way, I'm so glad to now be able to talk so openly with people who've been there too and who completely understand where you're coming from.

One quote on here that made me chuckle and I keep repeating it to myself when I think of MJ is: "WEED IS THE ENEMY!!!!" - Puts a smile on my face every time.

Speak to ya'll soon, I'd better head to bed, tomorrow's another day, and I intend on making it a good one!!

Absolutely gutted and not sure what to do

offplanet — Sun Feb 05, 2012 1:41 am

Author: offplanet

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 1:41 am

quote:
Originally posted by u17ac7
Thank you "offplanet". I can absolutely see your point, however I really cannot see many women, if any being comfortable with the idea that I fantasise about other women regularly especially if those fantasies tend to involve friends of either party. I am sure it would make them very insecure and understandably so. I believe that my thoughts are come predominantly from a habit of masturbation, something which has become part of my routine (OCD) at nighttime along with my amateur detective work in terms of being a late developer re girls/women. In addition to this I believe that my feeling guild re my thoughts is a direct link to the principle of "thought action fusion", something which I am not sure how many of you are familiar with. I have these thoughts/urges whatever you want to call them and I am placing huge importance on them hence my feelings of guilt.

I think it's essential to be with someone who doesn't take any of your OCD issues personally, unless you can keep them to yourself, which might be difficulut if you have OCD around being honest, like I do. If you put this question on a forum called enotalone, you'll get a lot of feedback, and be able to find out what girls think about such things. I know the general consensus on there is that most guys watch porn, and a lot of girls are ok with that. I know yours isn't about porn, but it's a similar issue. You need to be with someone who can laugh off your worries and not take them personally. It's not your fault you have OCD. They shouldn't take it personally. Not everyone would understand that, of course, but you need someone who does. Otherwise work on the other avenue, that you don't need to compulsively reveal your private thoughts.

Research participants required please

Not In My Life — Sun Feb 05, 2012 12:22 am

Author: Not In My Life

Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 12:22 am

quote:
Originally posted by Candid
I got The number you entered is invalid for What country do you live in? and it wouldn't let me go any further.

Links Fine ...... Works ok for me !

Recent topics - UncommonForum.com

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Research participants required please