Am I "normal?"

Postby ROBL250 » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:03 am

Ive just been here for 15 minutes, and have been reading the posts and I can relate to a lot of what people say and have been through.
Anyway my problems this, Im 20 no girl, no job, no life basically (I very rarely go out.)
My thing is, im into the Occult, things such as Wicca and Satanism, I collect Horror films on DVD, and my "taste" im music is basically heavy goth rock (not Manson trash, I mean proper goth rock.)
I have symbols all over my room, I go out in black, and I like to spend my lunch breaks at the Graveyard (Because im forced to go on a course to keep my money from the government.)
Im not a goth or mosher, im just myself, the problem is I dont relate to anyone.
Townies hate me cos they think im a goth/mosher, and goths and moshers hate me because im "weird."
I mean Ive done bible burning, animal sacrifice and a few other things I wouldnt rather mention, but I guess the worst part of me is how I think.
I find dying funny, when i see bombs on the news, or people suffering, I find it hilarious, im not a bad person I dont aim to be a bad person, its just I guess ive been through so much cr@p in my life I like to see others suffering.
I mean I dont want to be "normal" becuase thats boring, but I dont want to be on my own either, I like company, and on the rare occasion when ive known someone its only lasted 2 weeks maximum, im not afraid of commitment, im just afraid im going to have to "change" for a girl who doesnt understand me anyway.
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#1

Postby Encelis » Thu Oct 21, 2004 12:17 am

I don't think you're weird. About the girlfriend, you'll have to make sacrifices in whatever relationship you enter. It's just the degree of change you're willing to accept I suppose..
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#2

Postby kfedouloff » Thu Oct 21, 2004 8:46 am

Hi Rob

How does seeing other people suffer make up for what you've been through? Could you put that into words?

Kathleen
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#3

Postby ROBL250 » Thu Oct 21, 2004 1:05 pm

I guess I enjoy seeing other people going through all that suffering and pain because I then know that Im not the only one having to go through what I did, and what there getting is many times worse than what i went through and it makes me feel better that someones suffering for it.
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#4

Postby kfedouloff » Fri Oct 22, 2004 10:39 am

So let me get this straight, Rob

Are you saying that you believe that when you see other people suffering, and suffering worse than you did, it seems to you that they are being punished for what happened to you?

Have I understood you properly or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

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#5

Postby ROBL250 » Fri Oct 22, 2004 11:06 pm

Nah ur getting the wrong idea, im happy because other people are suffering for whatever theyve done or has happened to them.
I never was the "social" type, I missed out on all that partying and drinking and whatever else people at 17 did.
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#6

Postby Sharp » Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:16 pm

Hi

Just a quick question coz I think I may be getting the wrong end of the stick too - what has seeing other people suffer got to do with missing out on drinking and socialising?

forgive me but I cant see the connection - please set me straight
Thanks
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#7

Postby nickthelost » Tue Oct 26, 2004 11:59 pm

This is kinda of odd thing to say and kinda off subject but it has to do with the name of the topic.

Ask yourself this "What is actually normal?". Think about it know one is actually normal. There is 0 people out there who is the same as you. Even if you clone yourself, your not the same. Everyone is different and has different point of views. When i see people suffering i usually try figuring out if its actually worth being upset over like the people who call themselves "normal" they get upset over small things such as.

Things whont go the way they want.

people are ignoring them. Much more.

These are things that can be big and small nothing alike. The only thing i have to say is no one is alike in anyway everyone is different, different taste, different thoughts, different point of view, a endless list of differences.

I hope i helped you get a different point of view on your life. Your not wierd or normal, your you and know one can change that.
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#8

Postby snapok » Fri Dec 03, 2004 7:16 am

what is normality? honestly killing innocent animals and enjoying other people suffering is not normal at all to me. It is sick. I've been through enough of pain in my life but i dont enjoy death and killing. Its not normal, no offense.
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#9

Postby Gingerly » Thu Dec 09, 2004 8:18 pm

It sounds like you have a lot of hurt and pain from the past. Instead of thinking about other people suffering, find things that make you happy (that don't involve hurting others around you). In other words, you are worthy to have a happy life. People from the past may have made you feel like you didn't deserve it, but they are in your past. You have to make up in your mind that you deserve to be happy too, and figure out what you really like. Even though you are different, you may have been that way for so long that you are actually afraid to branch out of what you are like to be any other way. It doesn't matter what others think, its your life and you have to find out what makes you happy. ONe more thing, I know you're into wicca and hard music, but those things ultimately are destructive. If you could break free from any of that and turn to different things you would probably feel better. Coming from a Christian, I would like to tell you to turn to God and his mercy, but that is a very personal decision, and one that only you can make. But, from experience, i can say that God has really helped me through so many things, and truly turned my life around.
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