Bed Wetting self-hypnosis and children

#15

Postby vixtrix » Fri May 12, 2006 10:55 am

Hi all

My son wet the bed until he was 11 and still has the occasional wet night even at the age of 12.

I can understand the absolute frustration and fear that bed wetting brings out in a mother - not to mention the exhaustion....I would change his bed clothes up to 3 times a night and was continually rubbing special creams into the rashes on his legs.

I did learn some valuable things though over the years. Bed wetting is often seen as a sign of stress or emotional disturbance, and while in some cases this is true, with a child that has never been dry it is rarely the case.

Persistant bed wetting since coming out of nappies is more often a sign of an immature bladder.

When he was 8 (the UK also will not see a child for bed wetting before the age of 7) we finally saw a specialist and I was quite upset to discover that the things I had been doing were ALL WRONG!! People told me to lift him at night (wrong) and to limit his drinking (wrong). All I had done was allowed his bladder to under develop.

The bladder is a muscle and it needs training. If it is not stretched to full capacity it will continue to be weak and empty too often. The bladder needs to be strengthened and that needs plenty of fluid!!

The first thing we did was keep a record of his drinking habits and encourage him to drink plentiful regularly - BUT not carbonated or strongly flavoured drinks which can irritate the bladder. So make your child drink lots and lots of water.

We also kept a record of his bed wetting in the form of colouring in pictures when he was dry. He would then take the pictures back to the specialist for counting and congratulating!!

He also had to strip the bed himself to bring down to the laundry ( although I always made his bed again).

Within 3 months he went from wet every night without fail - (with the leg rashes and depression as well) - to dry most nights! He is now 12 and has not wet the bed for months, although I do still keep a close eye.

I do hope some of this can be of help for you - I remember how awful it was. It also is more of a boy trait - my daughter was out of nappies and 100% dry before the age of 3!!

But please don't give yourself a hard time over it - your son has a weak bladder not an emotional disturbance and with a bit of help and support he WILL become dry. If he suffers from bad leg rashes you might consider putting him in nappies just for a few days to allow the rash to clear up but don't be tempted otherwise - he really needs to get that bladder trained.

Good luck.

Vix.
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#16

Postby ClaireHeg » Fri May 12, 2006 11:29 am

Hi - I didnt know that you had to wait until over 7 - is this for the GP - I know it can be younger for alternative therapies ;-)
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#17

Postby vixtrix » Fri May 12, 2006 11:43 am

Yes - when I went to the GP when he was 5 I was told that they don't recognise bed wetting as abnormal until after the age of 7.

I don't know any age limit in other areas. :D :D
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#18

Postby magda » Fri May 12, 2006 11:57 am

I have not been getting some of the notification emails so have not realized there have been so many posts.

Though my son has certain stressors (as do we all), I and his psychologist feel that this is not really the problem here. I believe that he does have an underdeveloped bladder and am not really overly stressed out about, but would like to take some steps to help rather than just sit around waiting for his bladder to fix itself.

He uses Good Nights (TM) which are essentially diapers (nappies) for older children and they hold a lot of liquid. We tried for a number of times and for several months going without the Good Nights (TM) but it did not make a bit of difference. This way, at least he and we feel more comfortable and there is less stress over the bedwetting.

We don't really limit his fluids except just before bedtime. We tried the chart thing, but that failed abysmally since he never has had a dry or even close to dry night (no congratulations there, just encouragement). He changes his own sheets when even the Good Nights (TM) can't hold all the liquid. All these things have had no effect.

I did find a hypnosis program targetted to children at wendi.com. I have ordered and will see what happens when it arrives. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Thank you to all who have responded so far. I look forward to checking for more hints and info.

Regards,
Magda
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#19

Postby magda » Fri May 12, 2006 12:00 pm

Hi Vix,

Over here it is age 8. Before that they will just tell you that it is perfectly normal and not to worry about it. They also suggest waking him in the middle of the night to teach him to rouse himself if his bladder is full and to limit liquids just before bed (and I think that is only because my doctor is a mom too). But they will not do anything formal.

[quote="vixtrix"]Yes - when I went to the GP when he was 5 I was told that they don't recognise bed wetting as abnormal until after the age of 7.

I don't know any age limit in other areas. :D :D[/quote]
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#20

Postby vixtrix » Fri May 12, 2006 3:30 pm

Hi Magda

From my experience (having lifted him in the middle of the night) it really isn't better to do that - as hard as it is they need to train that muscle and if they empty it without really being conscious (which they invariably are not) they are not learning to hold it.

But you know your son best and at least he's nearly at the age of being helped. It is very frustrating I know, not to mention heart breaking, but it will stop. I was also told that it is hereditary (you said your husband had a problem??) and I can recall wetting the bed as a child whenever we went on holiday. And my nephew wet the bed until he was 11 as well so it seems to be in our family.

Good luck with it all and keep posting, if only to get a bit of moral support.

Vix.

:D :D :D
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#21

Postby ClaireHeg » Fri May 12, 2006 4:28 pm

Hi Magda

Let us know how you go with the hypnosis - sometimes the cause isn;t what is obvious to us ;)
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#22

Postby foxhole » Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:55 pm

I would ensure there is no medical reason for the bed wetting, I suffered as a child along with my brother and our condition was never investigated , we both have smaller than normal bladders and as adults still have to take the trip to the bathroom far more often than is normal.
Children do grow out of it, as the bladder obviously increases with growth and therefor the time you can go without a visit to the loo.
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#23

Postby magda » Thu Jun 22, 2006 1:18 pm

Thank you for the input Foxhole.

My son has no problem holding his urine in during the day. He can go far longer without a pit stop than I can. However, at night it is another story.

He did get better for a week or so when I asked him to have a chat with his bladder every night asking it to hold the pee in until morning. Then, when the self-hypnosis CD on bedwetting arrived, we switched to that. He was back to heavy bed wetting again. Though we stopped the CD and tried the bladder chats again, there seems to be no improvement this time around.

The quest continues. . .

[quote="foxhole"]I would ensure there is no medical reason for the bed wetting, I suffered as a child along with my brother and our condition was never investigated , we both have smaller than normal bladders and as adults still have to take the trip to the bathroom far more often than is normal.
Children do grow out of it, as the bladder obviously increases with growth and therefor the time you can go without a visit to the loo.[/quote]
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#24

Postby Goldie » Tue Jun 27, 2006 4:08 pm

Hi Magda
I have only just read your post about your son I have recently been seeing a 7yr old boy with the same problem and he is now dry after 2 hypnotherapy sessions and a CD I made him, to listen to every night. Contact me and I will make your son a CD he can use at home. :)
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#25

Postby magda » Thu Jun 29, 2006 7:21 pm

Hi Goldie,

Thank you for your offer. I tried to send you a private message, but was unable to do so. I will try again later so that we can exchange private email information.

Can you give a brief synopsis of what is in the hypnosis session you described?

The program we have tried talked about the child growing and developing control over the body and instructed the child to think about the muscle that hold the urine in as staying closed all night. She also focussed on positive language ("staying dry all night" rather than "not wetting the bed").

I discussed it with my son just this morning and he would like to try listening to the CD again because he wants to stay dry at night.

Magda
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#26

Postby Goldie » Sat Jul 01, 2006 2:01 pm

Hi Magda
Sorry I cant send PM's either as I am a new member! anyway if you want to contact me at carolg33@hotmail.com I will be able to speak to you privately.
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#27

Postby Farrah Day » Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:57 pm

Just found this thread, and obviously it's gone quiet after 2 years, but I'm a little perplexed by what I'm reading with regards to bedwetting and small bladders.

My daughters 12 year old girlfriend has this problem. This is obviously upsetting, unpleasant and without doubt embarrassing for the various youngsters who suffer from this, but I am somewhat skeptical with some of the aforementioned reasoning behind bedwetting.

I'm not sure where the sources of information originate, but I sense a lot of theorising. There is also talk of the unconscious mind, where we are really concerned with the subconscious mind.

In most cases there will be no physical problem whatsoever, with bladder size and bladder control being totally irrelevant. Doctors have recently prescribed my daughters friend tablets which basically treat the symptoms not the cause and hence will be - and, to date are - a waste of time.

The problem is a mental one. If it were a physical problem, then these youngsters would suffer badder control during their awakening hours too. This is obviously not the case. It is not the bladder, but the brain that needs the training.

But there is not necessarily any association with past mental trauma, so looking for any underlying cause in this direction is likely pointless.

In most of us, by the time we reach a certain age, our brain is telling our bladder to hold on to fluids by remaining tense during sleep, just as during the daytime. It does this subconsciously.

The problem these youngsters suffer is that their brain is not telling the bladder to remain tense all through the sleeping hours and it relaxes, hence releasing the fluids it contains. This it will do irrelevant of how much they have had to drink or how full their bladder is.

I would expect hypnotherapy to be one of the best ways to overcome this problem. Self-hypnosis, providing the youngster can master it should also ultimately achieve
positive results.

There is still much mystery as to the underlying cause and so why some youngsters suffer this, but for GP's to diagnose bladder weakness and talk about reducing fluid levels before nighttime is nonsense to say the least. This is simply damage limitation in that the bladder will have less fluid to expell - again treating the symptoms not the cause. Clutching at straws comes to mind!

Try to get your yonugsters to think about it while lying in bed and before they drop off to sleep. Try to get them to develop a positive mental connection between their brain and their bladder, in the same way that you can program yourself to wake up every morning just before the alarm goes off! They do not even necessarily have to wake up to go to the toilet as their bl;adder may not be very full, they simply have to retain bladder control.

It may also help for them to get a feel of bladder control by consciously stopping and starting when urinating during the day. Not always easy, but it will give the brain a sense of the bladder relaxing and tensing.

Good luck everyone.
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#28

Postby kevsheldrake » Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:25 pm

Good post. Parts reframe (6 step reframe) would be a potential approach. Parents could probably google and help their children with this pattern themselves.

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#29

Postby magda » Sun Jun 22, 2008 8:19 pm

Hi Farrah,

Thank you for continuing this thread. I found your points very interesting, thoughtful and thought provoking. My son is still bed wetting at lot and consistently, though recently there have been a few dry nights here and there.

The hypnosis that we tried did nothing to help him. We tried it for several months. We also tried positive self-talk and self-hypnosis. Neither helped, at all.

I have to disagree that if the problem were physical then children would not be dry during the day. During the day, children are awake and thus aware of their need to urinate. If they have an urgent need, they go to the washroom and empty their bladder. At night, some children are so deeply asleep that the signals that they need to urinate do not wake them. This, in combination with other nephrological issues, cause bed wetting.

The specialist explained to us that there are a combination of factors that are causing the problem for my son, most of these are genetic. I personally need to urinate often during the day and even at night. I also get a very urgent need to urinate at times and need to find a washroom quickly. This genetic predisposition is very related to night-time bed wetting. My husband had bed wetting issues until he was about 12. Genetics are a huge determinate in night time bed wetting according to most of the literature that I have studied.

He did explain that limiting liquids is not a useful tactic, that the night-time alarms can be useful, but only to control the symptoms and that the medication is also only useful for affecting the symptoms, not the causes. At this time, there is nothing that the medical profession can do for the causes of this embarrassing condition. He suggested to just let things be and that eventually my son will be dry at night. He also suggested the medication, but only for when he is staying overnight elsewhere to limit the embarrassment. My son's bed wetting is so profound that even with a Good Night on, his bed is often soaking wet. So, if things do not improve over the next year or so, we may consider the medication for that situation only.

I am not sure how genetically prevalent the subconscious is. However, I personally tend to believe the physical explanation myself but am open to new information.

Respectfully,
Magda
Last edited by magda on Sun Jun 22, 2008 8:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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