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Why does he keep leaving?


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Author Thread
giselle
Junior Member


Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 60

Post Mon Oct 13, 2008 12:44 pm

Why does he keep leaving?    Reply with quote  

My husband has had physcotic depression severly for the past 18 mths..The first lot of meds didnt help at all but the second lot seemed to be be more effective until recently.
He is on ventlafaxine,olanzapine,and mirtazapine.

This is just background stuff and what i need to understand is why does this husband of mine that i love dearly(and believe me that is hard sometimes).

Who professes to love me keep leaving me he is now on his 3rd time and the pattern is the same.....Over a week or so period
He gets very low
he stops talking
he then tells me he has to go
always to the same place
always to the same person.(A woman "friend") I have to trust in that because i will never know any different.

I cannot reason with him during this time... Which is frustrating because i know he will be gone a matter of days and then ring me up sobbing that he has made a misake.

Guess what he left on friday and texted me today saying

"I will be home friday.
LOve and miss you very much xx xx"


ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Well that takes the biscuit dont you think!!
He seems to have no idea what he is doing or the enormity of what he has done and i am so confused.Is this running away part of the illness he has Fight or flee concept?

i did not answer the text and he rang a short wHile ago and i could tell he was terrified...........But i did not welcome him home with opewn arms,i told him i had to make some sense of this behaviour or it will happen again and again,destroying me over and over.I still love this man i married him and for me that means in sickness and in health........I cant leave him but i can live like this..

You guys have been a godsend to me over the months and im hoping you can give me some advise.........giselle x
  
giselle
Junior Member


Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 60

Post Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:39 pm

   Reply with quote  

Just found out he is on holiday with this woman in cornwall.He was phoning me from her holiday home to ask to come home on friday.That i presume is when the holiday finishs...he knew exactly where he was going when he left me...........He tells me he is having this holiday with her to try to clear his head and that he isnt well............... Sorry but these are not the actions of a mentally sick man they are the actions of a devious pig!!! Told him he cant come home and get to the foriegn office!!!!
Bobbinalong
Junior Member


Joined: 08 Oct 2008
Posts: 76

Post Tue Oct 14, 2008 1:19 am

   Reply with quote  

Hi Giselle,
He does what he wants. At your expense. I don't see why having the label "psychotic depression" somehow makes being devious and treating you as a doormat acceptable. I take it you've already made clear to him how you feel, the effects his actions have. If he has still continued to do it depsite this, then he will do so in the future. He does not care enough about you.
Choose: doormat, or self-respect.
giselle
Junior Member


Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 60

Post Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:39 am

   Reply with quote  

I have chosen self respect.....I have told him he cant come home not ever,,,,,,,,,,,He has used his mental heath problems as an excuse once too often.....Im sad because i invested a large chunk of my life to help make him better and loved him throughout.

It never fails to amaze me how creual people are to each other,especially the ones who are closest to them and love them most..........
Bobbinalong
Junior Member


Joined: 08 Oct 2008
Posts: 76

Post Tue Oct 14, 2008 2:29 pm

   Reply with quote  

Well done. I hope you can move on. A stronger person. You've taken control of your situation, that has to be a good thing. New things/love in your life will temper the sadness/regret you feel. Someone who appreciates your good heart.
How will you react if he comes back promising that everything will be different, he'll never do it again? Are you prepared for that?
giselle
Junior Member


Joined: 19 Dec 2007
Posts: 60

Post Thu Oct 16, 2008 5:01 am

   Reply with quote  

Oh i really hope so and i only have to think of them having a nice time on their holiday in cornwall to bring it back to me what a scumbag he is..
I had a whole day yesterday begging me to take him back,i ignored the calls and texts............
and will continue to do so.......................


This goes againest the grain for me as i dont like to hurt people but sometimes it has to be done ..
  

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