Home

CDs & DVDs

Free Articles

Training

Self Help

Newsletter

Blog

Forum
Psychology forum home -> Psychology -> how to deal with a boss who flaout just ignores me This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

how to deal with a boss who flaout just ignores me


Connect with Uncommon Knowledge

Psychology Resources

 
Psychology articles

Free Self-Help articles

Uncommon Knowledge Psychology Newsletter

Popular Psychology Book Reviews

Psychology Training Courses

Discussion Forums


   Psychology

   Depression

   Anxiety and Panic Attacks

   Anger Management

   Addictions

   Eating Disorders

   Public Speaking

   Workplace Psychology

   Self Esteem and Confidence

   Relationships

   Hypnosis

   Practitioners' Lounge

   Emotional Intelligence

   Light Lounge

 


Bookmark and Share



 
Author Thread
thecraftyone
New Member


Joined: 29 Jun 2009
Posts: 1

Post Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:20 am

how to deal with a boss who flaout just ignores me    Reply with quote  

i started working at a new job about two weeks ago, the manager is kind of made it his mission to make me feel uncomfortable about my shyness which really sucks. he will go up to me and in the biggest baby voice imaginable he says "hey how you doing buddy, you still like working here". anyway thats not my biggest problem, the problem is that if i ask him something he just flat out ignores me, he doesnt do this to anyone else, like i said im a quiet guy, so i wonder if that has something to do with it. for example ill go up to him and ask hey vince can i get my paycheck, he will literally stand there, not answer my question and just keep doing what hes doing, and its not like hes super busy, he was just stocking some things. hes always doing this and im tired of it. he will eventually answer my question, but am i the only one that thinks its rude to be treated like this. i got so angry once when he did it to me that i actually considered yelling out hey a**hole i talking to you dont ignore me, but i like the job somewhat and want to keep it. what can i do to better the situation?
  
Annie7788
MVP
MVP


Joined: 17 May 2007
Posts: 4188

Post Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:01 am

   Reply with quote  

difficult to tell what's going on without being there to observe, but the best way to get someone's attention when they are busy is to go up to them and stand just close enough to their personal space until they look up. Then say sorry to disturb you but....

Im not sure if you are just expecting him to drop what he's doing and listen and that's maybe rubbing him up the wrong way. He's trying to demonstrate that's he's not your mate but the boss. The way it works in many places is that the boss can talk one way to you and you talk back in a more respectful way. That's just the way it is. The way it should be is that there is respect both ways, but if you are respectful towards someone they generally give you respect back unless they are very immature.

To tell the truth he probably finds your shyness intimidating and maybe he thinks you don't like him. Maybe he thinks you don't fit in and that your personality upsets the team dynamics. Difficult to tell. It's not a long time to be in a job so give it a chance and give him a chance. It's just as hard to manage someone when you have a clash as it is to work for someone you don't get along with. If you like the job just keep your head down and distance yourself from the bad feelings. Don't worry about the shyness. You're a novelty at the moment. Make friends with colleagues and he will see you fit in and will leave you alone.
T.
Full Member


Joined: 30 Aug 2006
Posts: 117

Post Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:34 pm

   Reply with quote  

I agree that he probably feels intimidated, although it'll be hard to know why. He could be a 'macho man', who just can't have a normal eye-to-eye conversation without bigging himself up in some way.
I went to a few courses on how to talk to 'superiors' and one of the great things I learnt was that you can do an 'adult to adult' style answer or question.
E.g. when he asks you something in a silly voice, just answer as if you were an adult talking to another adult, so just serious and simple. Just a suggestion in case you haven't tried that already.
He's probably a bit of a bully as well, so I think the best thing you can do is just keep an eye on the situation, and don't 'shrink' to his ignoring you. If you do it might get worse, as it seems that his aim is to belittle you. Make friends as well with the people you work with, as the social support will make work a good experience, but it might also deter him to see you doing well, and you may learn more about him too (you might find you're not the first).
Ask him a question in the 'adult' way, then, if he doesn't respond just walk away and ask someone else if you can, or stand there an demand an answer, whatever works best for you, but don't be discouraged. Be mature about it, as if he's the pain, which he is, and hopefully that'll give you some results.
I hope it's a short-term thing. It's pretty irresponsible for him to behave in that way. If it does get worse then there should be someone to talk to as well, as well as someone to rectify the situation without you having to leave.
Annie7788
MVP
MVP


Joined: 17 May 2007
Posts: 4188

Post Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:45 pm

   Reply with quote  

quote:
Originally posted by T.

I went to a few courses on how to talk to 'superiors' and one of the great things I learnt was that you can do an 'adult to adult' style answer or question.
E.g. when he asks you something in a silly voice, just answer as if you were an adult talking to another adult, so just serious and simple. Just a suggestion in case you haven't tried that already.



this is a great approach for dealing with immature behaviour in all situations. Just talk back in a serious manner. However, in the OP's information it looks as though the boss is not looking for an answer. He's making fun of the OP and "are you still here?" is a rhetorical question by someone who does not expect a response.

I guess the main thing is to not take it personally and not get emotional or stressed out. In other words rise above it and make the guy realise you're strong enough to not take his "joshing" seriously.
  

This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.

Jump to:  

Related topics
People who need approval... what's their problem?
Do one thing different...
My "Spells"
How to make small talk
The little things
 

All times are GMT.
The time now is Sun Apr 20, 2014 11:27 am
  Display posts from previous:      




Psychology  

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group