Postby ZeroNatalie » Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:29 pm

I have had a problem with bulimia for a while now. Im not sure what i need more help with, the way i look at food or this bulimia problem i know its a disgusting thing but every time i regurgitate i feel so much better knowing there is no chance I'll gain weight. Its sick and i know it i stopped for a while but one normal day i over ate and it occurred to me that i should just "get rid of it" and its been off and on like that ever since. If anyone has some good advice on this, your response will be very much appreciated.
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Postby shadesofgrey » Sun Dec 07, 2008 10:46 pm

Erm well i'm not going to pretend i'm an expert on the subject or anything, but this is just my personal advice. In my experience (I had issues with eating and think I had anorexia at one point) there is often something connected with your 'issues' with eating. You just have to try and think a little deeper, consider why you don't want to gain weight and why you feel the need to get rid of the food. There is probably an underlying reason for it. In my case, I started off wanting to lose weight to be as thin as this girl I knew who was going out with a lad I absolutely adored. I also liked controlling my food because then I felt like I had power (I know these sound stupid reasons, but that is the way it happened). After that my food issues progressed into something more, something more scary and uncontrollable. No matter how much my family shouted at me to start eating normally I didn't. The thing that saved me was when I was at work one night and found out that this girl had broken up with this lad. I felt free. It was like I had been tense all the time and suddely there was a ball of happiness inside of me. After that my food related issues just sort of disappeared. So, what I am trying to say, is if you find the cause, and try to do something about it, you may find that your problems solve themselves. However, always be aware that new problems may take their place... so be ready to keep fighting.

Oh, and by the way, try not to view yourself and your actions as disgusting, because, they are not your fault, they are symptoms of an illness that you cannot help. You have to try and like yourself.
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Postby ZeroNatalie » Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:16 pm

thank you for the reply. By the way i understand that situation that you mentioned. And the reasons you gave are not stupid at all. I think i would feel the same way.
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Postby shadesofgrey » Sun Dec 07, 2008 11:22 pm

No probs:) Always glad to be of some help:)
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Postby jurplesman » Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:31 am

For a possible explanation, have a look at:

Eating Disorders: Anorexia and Bulimia
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Postby JanusWaze » Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:43 am

Bulimia is quite different from anorexia: The fear of gaining weight is overshadowed by the self-harming attributes of binging and purging - You are addicted to the build up of the tension (binging) and the release (Purging). Like Schizoid said, it's also about control - which is why most bulimics are uncomfortable about seeking help.

I would suggest going to an Anonymous addiction group ; they're usually open to anyone, and seeing if you can pick up a few techniques for resisting the urge to purge. I'm going to say you can't do on your own - but I'd love for you to prove me wrong.

All the best.
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Postby megan » Mon Dec 28, 2009 1:19 pm

a bit about ED groups....

My experience is that groups and support groups are great for just that .. making you feel that you are not on your own and gaining support from others in the same boat. I have attending a few groups some longer term and some short over the years.

As long as you dont have unrealistic expectations of them, as they do not effect any cures or ways forward, at least none I have experienced or heard of elsewhere have done; and in some cases being surrounded with people with similar and worse eating disorders just entrenches the behaviours. I actually learned "techniques" for purging that I wasnt aware of at just such a group .. but also gained a sense of support and it removed the feelings of isolation ... so good and bad experiences!
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Postby stella_blues » Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:04 am

Hey ZeroNatalie-
Nice to have you here on the Eating Disorders forum. Sorry for the circumstances you're in, though. It sounds very hard. It made me sad for you, that you feel it's sick. You have a disorder and it's no more sickening than having diabetes or cancer. Try not to beat yourself up for it.

I agree with what other replies have mentioned, too. I purge daily these days and feel it doesn't have much at all to do with food- but mostly about trying to distract from distressing feelings. If I abstain from eating or purging, I start to feel all the bad things- think the bad thoughts- and feel out of control, anxious, and like a failure. When I eat, I know I can just purge it all- and I know I'll feel a great sense of accomplishment after I purge. I'll feel light, empty, sin-free, no consequence for giving in to the urge to eat.

The whole process- from when I start preparing the food to when I finish purging- can use up a couple hours of my day. Lately, the name of the game for me is just getting through the day. And this has become my coping mechanism.

I hope you'll consider the suggestion to join an ED group if it's available. I've been in a Dialectical Behavior Therapy class since late summer. I have to confess it hasn't helped me resolve my ED stuff. But it HAS been instrumental in my confronting the dysfuntion of the disorder. And it's been such a relief having people to share my fears knowing I won't be judged harshly for it.

Week before last, I herniated a blood vessel on my tonsil during a purge. I realized if I'd kept at it, I could have ruptured the vessel and hemorrhaged. I'm sure you know about the dangers of purging. But this really freaked me out. Not the way I've pictured myself going. To make matters worse, I had to hide the discomfort of it from my partner and pretend I was fine. Since she doesn't know about my purging. A pretty low point in my ED. :(

Have you ever tried chewing and spitting instead of eating and vomiting? I've been trying to substitute this behavior. It's still considered a purge, just that it's a lot less invasive and damaging. If I know these cookies I'm about to eat will require purging, I'll try to choose spitting them into a tissue rather than swallow them and need to vomit them up.

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Postby element. » Sat Mar 13, 2010 10:18 pm

Bulimia is usually driven by fear that if the person doesn't binge then they will put on weight. It manifests itself in thought, feeling and behaviour. Finding a cure for bulimia is not easy and this is said because some people relapse and suffer again. Have you seen a doctor about this? Do you go for group therapy? Are your parents helping you out with this situation? It is important to find people you can lean on for support so that you can be helped with tackling the issues that bother you.
I also think you should read alot about this disorder because there are many complications which arise from it and are quite harmful to health; dental cavities, stomach ulcers, electrolyte imbalance, disruption in the normal bowel release function, dehydration, irregular heartbeat and many more. Once your body starts to experience these, it is very hard to turn back so please start now, you can overcome it. See a physician too so that they can discuss any health problems you may be experiencing from this disorder.
You just need to make the commitment to yourself. Once you have done this, remind yourself daily that you are choosing to lead a healthy life. Eat healthy (healthy foods can be prescribed to you by a therapist or doctor), and make a strong effort to eat regularly. With all this, work on being happy and carry out positive activities such as exercising regularly, socialising with friends; laughing, volunteering work to give you the strength to keep up with the change.
Lastly, make it a long term goal ï￾Š
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Postby azalea30 » Mon May 17, 2010 5:15 pm

In my case, I prefer to eat and eat different kinds of food until i get upset stomach and have no choice but to run to the toilet and poop. Taking a cup of slimming tea before pigging out also helps. No regurgitating for me.
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Postby Ivette » Wed Oct 27, 2010 1:07 am

Hey,pple well umm im gona tell u something the people suffering from bulimia i know it isint easy i used to say why do bulimia people just dont stop i used to thinkk it was easy.Till one dayy idk wat happen and i ended up doing that and trust me it aient easy i've been bulimic for 2years almost 3 years i got help im going to counsling but i still do it i think im fatt my boyfriend tells me im pretty but i dont think that i always ask ma shelf why he is with me if im fat ugly i dont see wat everybody else. sees it not easy i know it not lot of pple thinkk ma family thinks its easy but 4 me just thinking that im gona stop terrifies me thinking i wanna stop but in another way i dont wanna stop
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Postby Kensington » Wed Oct 27, 2010 2:43 pm

The reality is that by the time food has reached your intestines, the calories have been absorbed. Even with purging by throwing up, a lot of the calories are already absorbed.
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