Do you find it hard saying "No"?

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Originally posted by C_Hanna
As I recall, I used to have a similar issue, but no longer does that exist, and the reason for this is because I have learned that I don't owe people anything unless I have intentionally indebted myself to him or her. This is only the first reason, as you probably know already there are many ways for people to try to get what they want from us; the first liberates oneself from feeling that one owes somebody something based on relationship (Relative, friend, etc.) or by circumstances unknown to oneself (someone does a favor for you, but he or she expects something in return, and you didn't know that he or she expected a favor.) Another way people try to manipulate us is by with-holding their approval from us until we do as they ask (ex. someone threatens to stop being your friend [or at least be ashamed of you] if you don't wash his or her car.) Yet another is, as you mentioned, begging (asking over and over until you break down, perhaps trying other forms of manipulation on you each time.) Something important to note is that many people hold the mistaken belief that if you can't explain why you don't want to do something, then you have to do it anyways. Obviously this is not valid because it violates one's right to be imperfect, and not always have an explanation for the distaste of something. Of course, not all requests from people will be things that will be to your disadvantage, and I think it's important to make sure each task you do perform is in your best interest, and is helping them help themselves. In contrast to Jason Field's post, people don't always back off and respect your decisions; in fact, they might even get angry, and this is because you are not doing what they want you to do.
I hope this helps in some way!

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