What is so funny about me?

Postby Hamming » Sun Jun 19, 2011 9:41 am

Hi,

can you tell me please, what the hell is: when I am around people, some people are smiling, they faces look like they are laughing at me, but trying not to laugh. Probably I look funny to them, like a clown. I would understand if I would tell something stupid or what, and then they would laugh at me, but now I can go to lets say a supermarket and the cashier smiles and tries not to. I just do nothing, I do what everybody do in supermarket - just buy things.

If there is something I can change, I could, but I don't even know why am I funny to them, and I don't want to ask, because of beig in not confortable situation, or they simply can try to tell - nothing, don't pay attention, which will not be true.

Better would be if they would say - look at yourself, this and this is wrong and makes people laugh, change that. But now just hides they laugh.
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#1

Postby Beloved » Sun Jun 19, 2011 5:03 pm

Take someone along with you and see how they interpret what you believe you are seeing.
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#2

Postby Hamming » Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:21 pm

Take someone along with you and see how they interpret what you believe you are seeing.


what do you mean? How will I see how they interpret? Ask someone is this guy laughing at me but trying not to? I don't feel comfortable to do that :)
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#3

Postby ModernCondition » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:12 pm

People look away and behave as though they are uncomfortable when they feel something is "wrong" with somebody.

People feel something is *pleasant* about you. This is what engenders laughter and barely concealed smiles.

Being funny...being quirky...being eccentric in ways that are doing nobody any harm, but are bringing joy to both you (for being the way you want to be, presumably) and others (who enjoy you, for whatever reason) can only be a good thing.

I say smile back at them. What's the worst thing that could happen? You both have fun?


Or...could be your zipper's down. Have you checked your zipper?
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#4

Postby Beloved » Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:19 pm

Hamming wrote:
Take someone along with you and see how they interpret what you believe you are seeing.


what do you mean? How will I see how they interpret? Ask someone is this guy laughing at me but trying not to? I don't feel comfortable to do that :)


They are there with you and they see the same events that you do.

Ask for their interpretation of what they saw and its meaning. With more people with you, you may get more interpretations of the same 'stimuli'.

Think of them as a jury, as a 'trier of fact', because that is what we're after here. We're after the best guess as to what the facts of a situation are.

Have them also view your responses, your body language, your facial expressions.

We already have your opinion.



What exactly is the source of your discomfort in doing this? Maybe we're already onto something.
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#5

Postby arunrajkumar » Thu Jun 23, 2011 4:59 am

Hey [u]Hamming[/u]
I envy your situation. I put in so much effort to make people around me laugh. And you do it just by your presence.
If I were you, I'd see your situation as a gift. You make others laugh and you laugh along with them :)
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#6

Postby Hamming » Sun Jun 26, 2011 5:59 am

but are bringing joy to both you


I don't see there any joy somehow :/

I say smile back at them. What's the worst thing that could happen? You both have fun?


I don't feel comfortable doing this, I even stop looking at that peoples face and try to look somewhere else. Just don't feel confortable.

Or...could be your zipper's down. Have you checked your zipper?

Thasts what I am talking about, but its not a zipper, its not down so often :)

They are there with you and they see the same events that you do.

Ask for their interpretation of what they saw and its meaning. With more people with you, you may get more interpretations of the same 'stimuli'.


I believe they will say or at least think "they are laughing at you, you stupid" and therefore again I will not feel confortable, so I don't wanna do that.

What exactly is the source of your discomfort in doing this?

I believe its some complex when people laugh and I cannot see the reason, and they see me, I start believing they are laughing at me.

I envy your situation. I put in so much effort to make people around me laugh. And you do it just by your presence.


If I could I probably give this "gift" to you :) Because when I walk at the street and don't make some reactions witouth trying to do so, I feel better :)

You see for example there is some bad singers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnrBC7HWzdA&feature=fvwrel

and people laugh at them.

But me is not a singer, I just lets say walk at the street, or go shopping. Am I bad at walking or at shopping? :D I cannot understand :)
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#7

Postby Eudj » Sun Jun 26, 2011 4:56 pm

Hamming wrote:can you tell me please, what the hell is: when I am around people, some people are smiling, they faces look like they are laughing at me, but trying not to laugh.


I know that such thing often happens when an individual is too shine. Some people believe that it is funny and laugh. Isn't it your case?
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#8

Postby alexxela » Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:52 am

You do realize it could just be a smile! Just a smile!
which means they are being friendly, or see you as friendly.

And bout the attention go live in london, I mean people there do crazy things just to get noticed, blue-green hair, large spikes, tattoos, piercings!
i myself have hair below my shoulders, & being a guy thats quite an attention hog, people keep looking at me.

just the way you look at the situation :P
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#9

Postby Beloved » Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:26 pm

Search on "ideas of reference."
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#10

Postby Hamming » Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:15 pm

Eudj wrote:
Hamming wrote:can you tell me please, what the hell is: when I am around people, some people are smiling, they faces look like they are laughing at me, but trying not to laugh.


I know that such thing often happens when an individual is too shine. Some people believe that it is funny and laugh. Isn't it your case?


Might be. But actually I am not shine. At least I try not to be such. But actually some people say that I am shine. But I don't know, I can talk to a nice girl if I need to even when I don't feel relaxed and my talking actually sucks often, I just do it, I can do many things if I just need to. Some people might not talk to a girl just because they are shine. Maybe I just look shine to them, who knows..

Today again. I was back from work and go to a gas station to refuel my car. I talk to a cashier and he smiles for a second or even less and then suddenly the smile begones. Looks like he tries hard not to laugh, so thats why the smile is gone so fast. We werent talking about funny thing, we were talking about serious things. And then I don't feel confortable looking at him just because I look funny to him. And then it might be funny for him because I DON'T look at him, like having no courage to look at the eyes.

This thing suck so hard, it causes a lot of strees to me and I cannot figure out how to deal with it :(

You do realize it could just be a smile! Just a smile!
which means they are being friendly, or see you as friendly.


I think the friendly smile is little bit different than these smiles I see. I have seen a friendly smile and when I see it I don't feel unconfortable. Or is there two types of friendly smiles, but I just accept one type :D

Search on "ideas of reference."

Searched. So it means there is no smiles but I just imagine that? I hope it isn't otherwise there is serious problem with my brain.
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#11

Postby Hamming » Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:19 pm

Eudj wrote:I know that such thing often happens when an individual is too shine. Some people believe that it is funny and laugh. Isn't it your case?


BTW, I look at the mirror and try to find it funny, but I don't. But maybe it is because of my poor sence of humour..

And one more thing - when I was still at scholl, something like 8 grade, my classmate told that I am funny (not because I make funny jokes, but probably because I looked like a clown to him) Of course it has been passed many years. But I still remember that. But maybe I should not pay attention to it, because it has passed now many years, don't know.
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#12

Postby alexxela » Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:25 pm

Hey if you dont find anything funny bout yourself then there you go!
listen you dont live for other, you do it for yourself. i learned that too late bout 10 yrs too late :P
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#13

Postby Beloved » Thu Jun 30, 2011 4:38 pm

Serious, I don't know.
People who unconsciously feel they are not getting enough attention may have these ideas in order to compensate.
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#14

Postby Hamming » Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:49 pm

listen you dont live for other, you do it for yourself. i learned that too late bout 10 yrs too late


yeah, I don't live for others but I live BETWEEN others. I need to figure out this once and for all somehow.
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