losing weight and letting go of the past

Postby susanblue73 » Fri Nov 11, 2011 5:43 pm

I'm losing weight. But I'm having trouble adjusting to the thought of it. I keep wanting to sabotage my success.
I was molested by my father and so that in mind, the idea of being skinny is like I feel nasty or something and that I'm going to get hurt. I also had an abusive relationship that ended six years ago and I was overweight as well. I hadn't dated that much, and added more weight in the process. I've tried dating since and the men that have come across my way I have become a master of running off. Men are going to look at me in a sexual nature and I'm afraid of that when I get to my goal weight of 136. I keep telling myself that I used to be skinny and was looked at that way by men. Of course I didn't dress sexy either. I've got 95lbs more to go. I know I need some counseling but I cant afford it.

Any advice? I feel vulnerable with the weight going. It's like its my 'blankie.' or something.. lol
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#1

Postby jurplesman » Sun Nov 13, 2011 4:29 am

Hi susanblue73,

I can see that you are looking at your problems from a "psychological" point of view, believing that the abuse by your father may have influenced your emotional well-being in the here-and-now. You can always pursue this by talking to a psychologist or other "psychologically oriented therapists".

As an alternative you could consider a completely different approach, which looks at emotional disorders from the point of view of medicine; namely that any mood disorder (even those perceived as stemming from past traumatic events) are really signs of a body incapable of producing feel good neurotransmitters in the here-and-now. Most people with emotional disorders are found to be suffering from a metabolic disorder(s) that often can be treated by nutritional means and without resort to medications. You need to familiarise yourself with the nutritional aspects of mood disorders and then seek the help of doctors or nutritional doctors who can help you overcome the problems. Please discuss with your doctor the following articles:

Depression is a Nutritional Disorder
Depression is a Disease of Energy Production
Conquering Anxiety, Depression and Fatigue Without Drugs - the Role of Hypoglycemia, by Prof. Joel H. Levitt
Eating Disorders


The most common silent disease resulting in depression is hypoglycemia. Most people feel better if they adopt the Hypoglycemic Diet. However if problems persist I suggest you study: Silent Diseases and Mood Disorders and ask your doctor to be referred to a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or a Nutritional Psychotherapist, for further tests and diagnosis and treatment.
Following nutritional treatment, a self-help psychotherapy course may often prove useful in overcoming any remaining "psychological" issues.

Please search our web site or INDEX more more information.
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#2

Postby mickle_john » Mon Nov 14, 2011 1:01 pm

Forget diet denial: Try adding foods to your diet instead of subtracting them.

Add in healthy goodies you really love, like deep-red cherries, juicy grapes, or crunchy snow peas. Slip those favorite fruits into your bag lunch and breakfast cereal; add the veggies into soups, stews, and sauces.

"Adding in really works, taking away never does," says registered dietitian David Grotto, RD, LDN, author of 101 Optimal Life Foods, but do remember to keep an eye on overall calories. And don't forget to add in something physical, too, whether it's doing a few dance moves before dinner, shooting hoops, or taking a quick stroll.

Walking when the weather's nice is a super-easy way to keep fit, says Diane Virginias, a certified nursing assistant from New York. "I enjoy the seasons," she says, adding that even when she's short on time she'll go out for a few minutes. "Even a five minute walk is a five minute walk."

No sidewalks in your neighborhood? Try these tips for slipping in more steps:

- Trade your power mower for a push version.
-Park your car at the back of the lot.
- Get out of the office building and enjoy walking meetings.
- Sweep the drive or rake the leaves instead of using a leaf-blower.
-Get off the bus a few stops earlier.
- Hike the mall, being sure to hit all the levels.
- Take the stairs every chance you get.
-Sign up for charity walks.
- Crank the music and get your heart rate up the next time you mop or vacuum.

It all adds up. If you walk twice a day for 10 minutes and try a few of these tips, you may find yourself with a low-impact, 30-minute workout easily tucked under your belt
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#3

Postby unavailable » Thu Nov 17, 2011 2:21 am

Hi susan,
can i ask how old you are?. The truth is simple, if you want to loose weight, consume less calories than you expend. This is the science that ther is no gettin away from, does not matter what you eat. If you choose to eat chocolate cake all day n this adds up to 2000cals but you hit the treadmill n burn off 2500cals, you will still loose weight. Altho obv i would never ever advise this, im jst makin the point of how weight is lost. I dont want to get technical with you so il jst make a guess n suggest that you stay below 1500cals per day, of the right foods frequently, this will stop you feelin hungry and will help stop cravins of the wrong types of food. Exercise plays a huge part aswell, not jst with weight but with overall health so try to stay active and keep track of calories, and you will loose weight.
Il check bak here if you need help with anythin.
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#4

Postby Candid » Thu Nov 17, 2011 10:35 am

Candid
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#5

Postby jwinokur » Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:37 pm

Did you even read her post? She's not asking for advice on how to lose weight.

unavailable wrote:Hi susan,
can i ask how old you are?. The truth is simple, if you want to loose weight, consume less calories than you expend. This is the science that ther is no gettin away from, does not matter what you eat. If you choose to eat chocolate cake all day n this adds up to 2000cals but you hit the treadmill n burn off 2500cals, you will still loose weight. Altho obv i would never ever advise this, im jst makin the point of how weight is lost. I dont want to get technical with you so il jst make a guess n suggest that you stay below 1500cals per day, of the right foods frequently, this will stop you feelin hungry and will help stop cravins of the wrong types of food. Exercise plays a huge part aswell, not jst with weight but with overall health so try to stay active and keep track of calories, and you will loose weight.
Il check bak here if you need help with anythin.
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#6

Postby Alber » Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:43 pm

Here are some best cardio exercise. I hope these exercises are enough for you to reduce the weight.
Running
Walking
Jogging
Dancing
Swimming
Skating
Jumping
Aerobics
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#7

Postby Herbie306 » Sun Jan 01, 2012 9:40 am

Hi Susan.
You're older and stronger now, so you'll be in a different place from how things were when you were molested.
If someone chats you up / tries it on / asks you out, you are now able to respond as you see fit; you have much more control over what happens to you than when you were a child, though you may want to take up self-defence if you want to feel more confident in protecting yourself.
Losing the weight steadily should give you the time to adjust and get used to the new you.
Good luck!
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#8

Postby YaOldBuckaroo » Sun Jan 01, 2012 8:53 pm

susanblue73 wrote:I'm losing weight. But I'm having trouble adjusting to the thought of it. I keep wanting to sabotage my success.
I was molested by my father and so that in mind, the idea of being skinny is like I feel nasty or something and that I'm going to get hurt. I also had an abusive relationship that ended six years ago and I was overweight as well. I hadn't dated that much, and added more weight in the process. I've tried dating since and the men that have come across my way I have become a master of running off. Men are going to look at me in a sexual nature and I'm afraid of that when I get to my goal weight of 136. I keep telling myself that I used to be skinny and was looked at that way by men. Of course I didn't dress sexy either. I've got 95lbs more to go. I know I need some counseling but I cant afford it.

Any advice? I feel vulnerable with the weight going. It's like its my 'blankie.' or something.. lol


Hi susanblue

The best weight routines are fun. Dancing or any other cardio exercises that can be done in groups or with friends is a great place to start.

Max
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