My girlfriend's apathy

Postby Kafana » Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:33 pm

Let me first clarify the problem. It's not that she's apathetic so much as that she dislikes touching and hugging. The thing is, she wasn't always like this. Apparently two or so years ago she loved cuddling and hugging (she says so, as do her parents), but since then she has started to loath it.

Now, for a period of ten or so months in between me meeting her and her being normal she hung out with the wrong crowd, and there was one girl in particular who I believe (and I base this on nothing more than a guess) made her see intimacy as something disgusting.

The reason I say this is because this friend of my girlfriend would hang out with my gf and take her to her boyfriend, where they would have sex, usually while my girlfriend was in the other room, and sometimes even right in front of her. Her friend was 14 at the time (my gf was 15) and the guy was like 19. That friend continued to pull more scandalous stunts, by being with dozens of boys and men (of up to 25 years old). Eventually, my gf realized how vile this girl was and stopped hanging out with her.

My question is, could this have caused her to become so emotionally damaged that she dislikes cuddling with me (even after half a year together, despite the fact that I am, her words, the love of her life)?
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#1

Postby Candid » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:41 am

Her friend was 14 at the time (my gf was 15) and the guy was like 19. That friend continued to pull more scandalous stunts, by being with dozens of boys and men (of up to 25 years old). Eventually, my gf realized how vile this girl was and stopped hanging out with her.
Vile? At 14? I smell "dozens of boys and men" who should be up on sexual assault/carnal knowledge charges.

Your girl being a willing witness (and participant?) suggests she's not the girl for you.
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#2

Postby Kafana » Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:29 am

I smell "dozens of boys and men" who should be up on sexual assault/carnal knowledge charges.


As do I. The problem is, horrible though as it may be, it goes on a lot in my hometown...

Your girl being a willing witness (and participant?) suggests she's not the girl for you.


Quite a logical assumption, but the thing is that she was 15 at the time and not very smart. She's changed a lot since then, and for the time that I've known her I've really fallen in love with her, so I am willing to stick by her, at least for some time.

The reason I called this friend vile (one which I now see I failed to mention in my original post), is because on several occasions she threatened to break the friendship with my girlfriend and even spread falls rumors about her if she didn't participate the next time they went to this pedophiles house. Of course, after such threats were made my girlfriend finally got the brains to leave such a friendship.

Truth be told, the whole thing sickens me on a level I did not think possible. I remember growing up thinking that my hometown was quaint and nice, but now as the days go by I see more evil around every corner, even in 14 year old girls...
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#3

Postby Candid » Mon Jan 30, 2012 1:11 pm

I'm sorry. This freaks me out. Why are so many young people so keen to become caretaker/custodians of other young people who are -- to put it mildly -- badly screwed up?
Truth be told, the whole thing sickens me on a level I did not think possible.
Yeah, me too.
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