Hi im 27 years old and ever since i was about 13 i couldn't stop cleaning in the end when i moved in my own house and my partner left me with 2 kids it got worse i didn't like my kids getting dirty i hated anyone in my house then i become scared of been alone thinking something was going to happen and there was just me there to protect my sons i got a house alarm put security lights around the house then i moved and it slowly went i still cleaned allot but then in 2009 i met someone and we had a son in 2010 and that's when my anxiety hit the roof my son was diagnosed with multiple pituitary hormone deficiency hes on meds for life and is blind 1 eye which knocked me for 6 then 2 days later my sister went to the doctors with a sore throat he took test and the next day he was knocking on her door saying she had leukemia so while she was in one hospital i was in another with my son it was the worst month of my life after that i couldn't stop thinking i was dying every time i got a pain or a sore throat if i felt anything unusual at all i would panic and just assume this is the end i went through a stage of been scared to fall asleep in case i didn't wake up im scared to take any medication my whole life has took a massive dive with suffering with anxiety im totally lost and feel so alone my sister has just been told she is dying and theirs nothing they can do im in bits to think im gunna lose my sister i feel helpless can someone out there give me any advice i cant go on feeling like this and waking up everyday thinking its my last.
I am really sorry for you. i know the fear of dying can be indeed severe that it intervenes in daily life. It can consume your thoughts and affect entirely the decisions you make. you might have a phobia called thanatophobia or necrophobia. This is an unhealthy fear and should be handled by a trained mental health professional.
I'm very sorry to hear about your fear. I too have suffered from that fear intensely. It is not so bad these days. My fear came from an inability to feel in control of my life. I had decisions made on my behalf all my life and never really learned to deal with many aspects of life myself. On top of that I suffer from chronic pain which can leave my emotional defenses low.
I overcame much (but not all) of my anxiety by learning about Acceptance, that is, to accept what I cannot change. I make the most of what I have and have learned to dismiss what is not in my power to control. I like the saying "You cannot control the ocean but you can learn to surf" - which means we can adapt.
You cannot change what is happening to others no matter how upsetting. You can however chose to be supportive and grow strong from that if you want.
I'm sure my words are of little consolation at the moment and I hope things improve with time for you. Getting professional support and non-professional support (like this website) is key for you.