red face

Tips and help for the world's "number 1 fear".

Postby daya » Fri May 25, 2012 3:18 am

i have a fear to talking to people in general my face gets super red like bloody red its so annoying it randomely comes im in class and out of know where my face gets bright red im talking to my friends and i get bright red and they jus stare at me i hav a fear of talking to boys cus i get really red and i start shaking i cant even go to a restraunt and order my foosd cause i get bright red any help?
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Postby Sandan209 » Wed May 30, 2012 2:18 pm

daya wrote:i have a fear to talking to people in general my face gets super red like bloody red its so annoying it randomely comes im in class and out of know where my face gets bright red im talking to my friends and i get bright red and they jus stare at me i hav a fear of talking to boys cus i get really red and i start shaking i cant even go to a restraunt and order my foosd cause i get bright red any help?


The very same thing happens to me. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy and compounding thing. I begin to think "great am I turning red" or "here I go" or "I'm probably going to turn red". All of which begin the process and then I get more embarrassed about it and turn even redder. There are many ways to overcome blushing, but the first thing you need to tell yourself is it won't turn around overnight. It's an anxiety issue and a mental habit. There are many things to do to make it stop but you need to first just accept it as it happens because it's not as big a deal as you think it is. Some effective methods are neuro linguistic programming, toastmasters, panic away, etc. All of which will help increase your confidence and embrace the fact that you are currently dealing with this issue.

Hang in there and make a meaningful, sustained effort toward reversing it and you'll succeed. I have come a long way with my issue.
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Postby MattCoast » Thu May 31, 2012 12:17 pm

Are there any situations when you can talk to family, friends, other people where you don't get bright red?
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Postby Sandan209 » Fri Jun 01, 2012 3:19 pm

MattCoast wrote:Are there any situations when you can talk to family, friends, other people where you don't get bright red?


It depends on the day and my state of mind. If I am in a non-anxious, confident state, I do not blush under any circumstances. If not, just someone looking at me will cause me to blush severely. It all boils down to the battle with one's self-confidence at that moment and how willing and able they are to let the tension go and embrace the issue.
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Postby Reid » Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:32 pm

As Sandan209 mentioned, red face and other "stagefright symptoms" are very similar to a panic attack, where when you try to suppress them they just get worse. This is because those symptoms originate from fear, and when you notice them and try to stop them, that additional fear just causes them to amplify.
As someone who avoided going to college for several years because of my severe public speaking fears, I can definitely relate. Multiple factors eventually helped me overcome this, including:
1) Learning to accept/embrace the stagefright symptoms like blushing and shaking when they arose, rather than trying to suppress them
2) Improving my self-esteem (self acceptance) to a level where other people's potential judgment of me didn't matter so much
3) Realizing that if someone was judging/criticizing me, it was really they that had a problem worth judgment, not me.
Having been through this, I now have tremendous respect when I see someone experiencing fear/anxiety symptoms while speaking,but "doing it anyway". Try to remember that there just might be a few people like that in your audience, silently cheering you on. But again, total acceptable of your self and symptoms will likely do the most for getting you beyond the currently debilitating effects of blushing.

Reid
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Postby MrPositive » Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:31 am

MAY I ADD THAT I HAVE REFERRED MANY A CLIENT TO TOASTMASTERS

INTERNATIONAL IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE WORLD - ITS A GREAT WAY OF

OVERCOMMING JITTERS AND NERVES. THE GROUP


WILL NOT FORCE YOU TO SPEAK UNTIL YOU ARE READY-GIVE IT A GO !!!

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Postby Hovehypnotherapist » Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:14 pm

One simple but very effective tip is to actually point your redness out to people and if possible even make a joke of it. This may sound crazy but in fact by doing this you are immediately bringing it out in the open and normalising it. Everyone suffers from blushing at some point and even if yours is really severe as soon as you do this the other person has no option but to listen to you point it out. Once you start to feel more comfortable even encourage yourselves both to laugh at the absurdness of it!

My suggestion would be to anticipate when this might happen and mention it to the other person or group of people before it happens i.e 'oh just to say my face will probably look a little like a tomato soon as i do blush really easily' and then mention it again as it has happens. I promise you once you start doing this it will cease to become such a big issue.
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Postby kerwin » Tue Jul 24, 2012 3:43 am

daya wrote:i have a fear to talking to people in general my face gets super red like bloody red its so annoying it randomely comes im in class and out of know where my face gets bright red im talking to my friends and i get bright red and they jus stare at me i hav a fear of talking to boys cus i get really red and i start shaking i cant even go to a restraunt and order my foosd cause i get bright red any help?

i used to be like that too, but now i'm little nervous due to speaking to anyone i meet. :oops:
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Postby NamelessOne » Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:56 am

I dont have a fear of public speaking but i do go red for some reason. Ive always had the problem. I can relate to how embarrassing it can be.
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Postby bneil » Fri Sep 14, 2012 2:48 am

I also encountered the same situation where all my face was blushing red, and it really annoys me. It just shows I'm not that confident yet on some situations, or when I am angry too.
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Postby Eupsychologist001 » Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:32 pm

You get red because you're embarrassed. And then you probably get more embarrassed because you are red.

The key is breaking the cycle and not getting embarrassed in the first place. Try asking people what they really think of you when you turn red. I'm sure it won't be so malevolent as you assume.

Seymour Epstein in his book, Constructive Thinking: The Key to Emotional Intelligence has a lot on managing the unconscious triggers of these kinds of emotions. I think if you read it and apply it, you will certainly be cured.
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Postby sophie123 » Fri Oct 26, 2012 12:36 pm

I get red a lot and i want it to stop :oops: and if i think about it more and more i get redder and redder and its effecting me a lot but i try a lot of things like thinking about over stuff what i like and trying to talk to m y freind coz she knows i go red. but tell your friend if they are in that class and keep talking to them and you could stop going red x
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