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Anger Management Resources
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Saffaya
New Member
Joined: 10 Mar 2013
Posts: 1
Sun Mar 10, 2013 11:52 pm
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| I can repress anger except for 1 person |
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Hello!
I am an introvert, Jung-wise. Speaking in MBTI terms I am an INTP with a balanced Thinking/Feeling. Living with parents, in my early 20s, just finished studying and don't go out much.
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I hope somebody can help me understand my current dilemma:
I have always mastered my anger, and only let it out on extremely stressful occasions for a mere minute, then calming down very quickly and regretting some of the harsh things I've just said, as well as the showing of emotion. I perceive showing outward emotion as a sign of weakness and seem to be unable to communicate the great wealth of feelings I have.
Well, the problem is, I do have several siblings, one of whom (16 y.o.) brings the worst out of me, instinctively, brutally, and no self help or psychology book, not even my spirituality have been particularly helpful in this regard.
This sister incorporates many things I dislike or even despise in human beings in general, like complete egoism, solipsism, emotional manipulation (aka "vampirism"), poor hygiene, lack of respect toward anyone, shameless lying, extreme parasitism etc.
I can be patient as long as she leaves me alone, but if she goes beyond the boundaries I've set and challenges me on my "territory" (using what she needs in my room, having our parents give her the "permission" by manipulating them), I explode and shout around things so unlike my usual self! (I wish you'd DIE! DIE! etc).
I know I do not wish her or anyone else to die, I think it is rather a metaphor for disappearing from MY life, leaving me in peace.
What can I do? What is it that makes me "canalize" my anger and mostly feel it when this particular person is around and talking to me?
Thank you! |
Spinelli
Junior Member
Joined: 04 Mar 2013
Posts: 20
Wed Mar 13, 2013 5:03 pm
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It's good you can recognize your anger. I used to be just like that, letting out anger in the wrong way then later regretting it. I have learned over the years to "disengage" from situations/people that bring up that potential anger. Showing outward emotion isn't a sign of weakness believe it or not. Once you get bottled up anger/feelings out it's like a breathe of fresh clean air. It's not healthy to hold it in for too long, or more then likely it will come out a bad time (speaking from experience) I can imagine that must be tough with that many siblings. You need to realize you're letting them bring out the worst in you. It's you who has control of how you perceive these situations and how you react to them. I'm sure most teenagers are ignorant and naive as ever due to the lack of discipline and social media influences. Sounds like your sister has issues as well, you could try and help her before that mentality leads her down the wrong path. Instead of lashing out in anger, try the opposite of that. I'm sure that will throw her off. Put a lock on your door if you don't them rifling through your belongings. Watch the anger, don't think it. |
abid54321
New Member
Joined: 14 Mar 2013
Posts: 2
Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:08 pm
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There's healthy anger, such as when you see someone is doing something wrong against another person. Because this will motivate you to something about it, and not ignore it!
And there's unhealthy anger, which is when you let your anger develop to the extent that it controls your behaviour.
If you're angry because someone has been unfair to you then try these:
1. Do you understand why the other person has done that to you? May be you made them angry some time in the past.  If that's the reason then you need to make up. Buy her a gift or do something nice for them and say, 'I am sorry'.
Trust me, a lot of conflicts between family members would completely disappear if we do this whenever there's a big argument.
2. If you can't think of anything you might have done to the person, then go and have an adult conversation with them, but take a gift with you. Say to her 'this is for you little sis' and when she is ready just ask her 'sis, have I done anything to upset you, because if I have I am really sorry, I just don't like when people do this to me'
After you done this. Wait a day or two. Things should be calming down a little because you've shown a different side to yourself and she might look up to that.
3. If the above two doesn't work, then try to spend more time outside the house. Since you're home a lot of the time, and I am betting your sister is too, this allows you both too much time in the house. A bit of distance should do some good. Get some fresh air. Go for a jog or something.
Hope this helps.
Presents Works. Trust me. It's like bribery. |
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