My Kids My Concerned

Postby Mykidsdivorce » Tue Jul 05, 2016 3:47 pm

Back in 2003, at a restaurant down the street, i was welcome by an elegant, charming and warm lady. Her greetings made me feel a great calm in my heart and after having a sumptuous meal, we exchange numbers and the rest was history.
6months later, we married. it has been a a great loving experience until last year February that Jane chilled my nerves with a shocking news. Dan, I want divorce! I am tired of your nasty and uncaring attitude toward me. I am tired, Dan.

Jane accuse me of not helping her, and having extra.. Jane gave me two kids, Neil and Angelia. I have tried pleading but to no avail. To my greatest surprise, i received summon from a lawyer last month, asking me to appear on a date for judgement. I have told my attorney about it

I am not worried for a divorce case, but our kids. because, i see myself failed seeing these kids going to pass through a painful experience of single parenthood. I don't know if you have pass through this before,

I am looking for urgent help, tips, what to answer my kids. what will be the effect our action on their life in future. I am willing to take your suggestion. i have been withdrawing from them because of this divorce.

What can i do to help my children cope with our divorce. Please, i need someone's help. drop lines to me.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue Jul 05, 2016 5:42 pm

Be up front and honest with your kids. Explain exactly how you plan to be in their lives moving forward. Explain what they can expect from you. Explain where they will live. Explain to them who will pay for their food and clothes. Explain what they can expect on holidays and on their birthdays.

DO NOT get involved in emotional drama and feeling sorry for yourself and your situation. Your kids do not need to hear your opinions about your relationship with their mother. Your kids do not need to know the details about why your wife asked for a divorce.
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#2

Postby cynthialeighton » Tue Jul 05, 2016 6:10 pm

Mykidsdivorce wrote:what to answer my kids.


Following Richard's advice will help your kids cope. In terms of what to answer your kids, I encourage you to wait for questions and then look at the questions from the perspective of what their concern is. Address their concerns simply.
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#3

Postby Mykidsdivorce » Tue Jul 05, 2016 8:45 pm

Thank you Richard and Cythia. I will try..
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#4

Postby cynthialeighton » Thu Jul 07, 2016 8:43 pm

Mykidsdivorce wrote:Thank you Richard and Cythia. I will try..


You're welcome. You're human, so you will make mistakes. Forgive yourself as you go along.
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#5

Postby JuliusFawcett » Sat Jul 16, 2016 7:28 pm

What's your gut instinct telling you to do?
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#6

Postby AustinJWilson » Sat Aug 19, 2017 6:06 am

What is the current situation? Are you divorced? What did you tell your kids? The same situation was faced by my friend. He was feeling depressed as he has also filed for a divorce with his wife and they have a daughter. My friend hired a lawyer to get the custody rights. He referred pagesjaunes.fr/pros/05241146 and read many blogs to get the ideas on how he can cope with the situation faster and to look for the lawyer services.
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#7

Postby laureat » Sun Aug 20, 2017 12:48 am

First you need to do: Dont panic

We may not expect a divorce but it happens, you cant force the other to be in relationship

Second: move forwards

When you get used to live with someone and suddenly leaves: it may leave you confused/panic what to do: well you move forwards thats what you do, you learn to live without the person, you create your own beautiful life,

About what to say to the kids, what you have to understand is they dont need your panic-claims

i dont know if its a good idea to lie to your kids: they may feel bad about not telling them the truth, they may be confused/afraid whats going on

You have to understand that kids can be effected with the way you feel: if you feel good it effects them on the good way, if you feel bad it effects them on bad way, so try to bring positive energy around the kids
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