lenvilono wrote:so i have perfectionistic tendencies.whenever i want to achieve any goal i need to plan it, want it structured, i go into detail about where , when , how it should be done. example- i plan to finish a book in exactly 15 days , i will consider how many pages should i read per day, where , at what time etc. the thing is that when i am unable to finish it in my given time or it deviates from my perfect plan i want to give it up and start all over and it create distress in me. so how do i overcome it? how do i become more flexible? should i do things randomly without planning? should i as a perfectionist follow structured approach? is structured planned approach towards more efficient than doing things randomly?
You are not free, that is your problem.
You are bound by anxiety. By the lie "I am not enough".
The result of believing that lie is that you try to earn love and positive attention.
In that process the perfectionism is developed.
If you are free, you can decide for yourself what is the good way
The root of your problem is in the relationship with your parents.
If you find love and feel beloved, than you will overcome this awful problem because than you can relax. And becoming more flexible.
And doing the job from a state of relaxation is totally different from doing the job from a state of "trying to doing my best hoping that the other is content with it".
Just my thoughts about it.