Your mother's words are now past. You are an adult. You choose how to manage your emotions. As an adult, you are hundred percent responsible for your emotions. I know it is very tempting to always blame parents or peers, but until you stop doing that, you will continue feeling the pain. Forgiveness is necessary, as Roady says. Because it is liberating. But most importantly, no parent means bad things when they give advise to their children. Now, the way they give their advise sometimes is a different story, but generally they mean good. Let me know of a parent who never ever made a derogatory comment, I'd love to meet them. I used to blame my parents for many things as well. It did me absolutely no good for years. Once I realized this, I chose to navigate my own emotions, went to seminars and learned self-confidence boosting techniques. I also applied these techniques, which is important. Systematically at that. When you say "words can give death", are you implying you have no choice as to how seriously to take certain words? Blaming is the easier way out. But you are still in, does that make sense? Once you focus on yourself first, and disregard what others think, then you are in control. And it is only your decision
. I completely agree with both of you that the hardest opinions to distance yourself from are those of your closest family members, trust me, I've been there in a bad way. However, that makes the challenge even more inspiring. Think about the day when, thanks to your conscious efforts, you are actually free of that heavy burden, and are able to pride yourself of the excellent qualities you have, develop more of what you want to have, and nobody dares to force any opinions on you. That day will never come until you firmly resolve in yourself that their opinions are ok, but yours is the priority. I had to tell my parents several times that I'd appreciate their views only if I ask for them. That was when I changed professions against their will, started a hobby they were completely against, started a business and succeeded, again completely out of their comfort level, and with my own means, so they did come to realize that they were not in control any longer. Parents are great, but in some ways they need to be educated just as children do. So long as they know you care too much for their opinion of the way you look, they will control your life. Who is supposed to put an end to this if not you?