2 weeks in today... Weed and cigarettes cold turkey..

Postby Bagobones » Tue Sep 20, 2016 3:48 pm

In it to win it

Hi. I am 42 years old from Scandinavia. Ive been smoking weed chronically for 21 years. Half my life. Smoking weed since high school. The last 10 years i´ve started the day with 2 big cafe latte and 3 big joints of high grade weed for breakfast, then followed up the rest of the day like that..

It started really as a joke. Me and a straight friend was chatting.. He challenged me. He said it takes three days for the nicotine to leave my body. No weed and cigarettes for 3 days. That was after I had been bitching and complaining that my life had become stale and boring. I accepted the challenge. That was 2 weeks ago today.

Paws

I have quite strong paws. Or I don't even know what it is. Its like I have NO concentration at all. On Monday I came 1 hour too early for work. I have a big problem planning just one hour ahead. I have family in the UK, and have been married to a California girl for 11 years. Divorced now. Still, writing this, I have to use google translate a lot just to write English. So sorry if my English is bad.
I am also struggling with being tired all the time. I feel like I could sleep all day. Like 12 hours a night is no problem. Always a bit tired. And when I fall asleep nothing wakes me up. I could sleep during a black metal concert no problem. Apart from that its been the expected dreaming a lot, and sweating a lot.

It seems the only thing that helps is when I go really extreme.. Like do something that gives my head a bigger challenge than the paws. That takes me to the next point.

Life before weed

When I started being a chronic stoner I was into crazy stuff. I tried out for my country Navy Seals army thing. Snowboarding places like Jackson Hole Teton Village in Wyoming, USA and Chamonix, France for kicks. Windsurfing big wave spots all summer. Jumping out of airplanes was also something I enjoyed doing. By the time I was 23 I was a coach potato that never left my home town. The few travels I went on was to Amsterdam and California to get high and be a coach potato there too. That has pretty much been my life ever since.

Muay Thai and Ashtanga Yoga.

I have started doing a lot of ashtanga yoga and Thai boxing all week now, apart from work. That seems to take away the paws a bit for me. And also I feel if I was not doing that I would be depressed and anxious a lot doing this. Its also to be with some really cool inspiring people. Or its hard to explain. My Muay Thai coach is a former Combat Games champion, that's won on all the big stadiums in Thailand too. Ive known her forever. My Yoga teacher is a psychiatrist and been a yoga teacher here and in Bali Indonesia for 15 years. So apart from the physical health I am getting its also the people there. They are so stable and nice to be around. Like always positive and Inspiring. Their vibe is like vitamins for me to be around. A big contrast to my always paranoid, always complaining, negative stoner friends. Something I did not notice when I was stoned all the time myself. I am a bit ashamed of my self, because I know I am just like them.

Well I have been reading this forum a lot the last 2 weeks. I really have no one to turn to to share my struggles around this. And this forum has helped me a lot.

I want to keep a little journal of my quit here. Maybe someone will find what I write helpful, but also its to leave my friend that started this alone with my ramblings about my quit.

That was a little presentation of myself and why I am writing this. I have thai boxing now, and if I stay in here much longer ill go into being a depressed self loathing idiot. So Ill end this now and come back to it later.

A moving dog don't get pissed on... something I read somewhere....

Peace everybody.
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#1

Postby Bagobones » Fri Sep 23, 2016 3:17 am

2 weeks 3 days, long post, rambling. And sorry for bad English..

I am still not smoking. I find staying away from weed easy. I have always had the luxury of having too many people wanting to be my friend or hang out. Which makes me have the luxury to choose. I am not a super social guy, so the bad part is that i´ve always hurt somebody that i don´t have time, interest or like, that want to hang out with me.. Me quitting weed have made me realize I was part of a negative group of people, that was selfish. Now I am mixing with more positive people. People that have goals and dreams. People that in general want good stuff for me and their surroundings. But they are also a more demanding crew. Though love people that means business, that don´t do half donkey stuff, and demands 100%. So its easy to stay away from the people that smokes weed. I got better options than them. A lot of them was not real friends, more weed contacts if you know what i mean.

The though part is the paws. Or the detox. Which has turned me into the biggest liar. Ill tell about my last 24 hours to explain. Yesterday evening I died. Don´t remember falling asleep and slept forever. I woke up really early, ours before work. One of those super trippy detox dreams woke me up. I felt great. Well rested, motivated, clear head and ready for action. So I chatted online for a while, and then decided to go down to my yoga teacher to have a little chat, and make things good again between us. She is an early bird so I knew she was up and in motion. The reason I had to do that is PAWS. She is a though love kind of girl. You don't bring half donkey bs to the table dealing with her, and you get magic back if you meet her demands. Ive been skipping classes, messed up with paying my bills to her and in general been a bit of a half donkey guy to her the last 2 weeks. I have no problem owning up to my mistakes, but I can´t come to her and say, listen, I am detoxing from my 21 year addiction to weed. So my excuses are getting thinner and thinner, and my lies are getting really bad. She is a clinical psychiatrist, so she knows I am lying. I have said i have been sick, slept bad, been away on a trip and so on. All lies. Her reply is, you been sick? But you look great. Your skin is amazing these days. You don't smell cigarettes these days. And sunny Portugal? You don't have a tan... You want to adjust your story? And I go like no, ill just shut up, and let my action do the talking. She goes, well talk to me if you feel like it, i am here for you. Which makes me feel like a complete idiot. Next was work.

Work was great for a few hours. I work in a place which i have to deal with a lot of people all the time. People from all over the world. Some in big problems, some refugees straight out of wars, some people that's just out of prison. I have a violence alarm in my pocket at all times at work, so i have to be a bit mindful of my surroundings. So I was sitting chatting with this really smart young Somali girl. And it was busy, so I had people to the left and right demanding attention. Then boom. Paws. It always starts with me getting really really tired. Like I could fall asleep there and then. Then I get a little pressure in my head, but no pain. I lose all concentration and my vision gets blurry, and I start to sweat bad. I could just see the Somali girl noticing it. She was like, are you alright, your pale and you just started sweating bad? I am like, I am fine, just slept bad. She went, but you said to me you slept soooo well last night just 30 minutes ago. I was like ****!!! Okay, so I called for my coworker, that has had to cover a lot for me lately because of this. Can you take over here? I need some fresh air and 10 minutes. Then i got up, put my hands on her shoulders to get her attention, and said that guy is taking over. She jumped and had a weird look in her eyes. Once again, ****, Somali girl.. Conservative Muslim. I am not suppose to touch them.. By this time I just wanted to go home.. My coworker is like, are you alright? I was like yes sure, but he knew, we have worked together for a long time, and usually I am very good at my job. Out walking around the building, I met my boss. Same story. You ok? You look so great these days, but also so shitty at the same time.. Whats going on? I was like eeh, I don't know. I don't want to talk about it. I had no lies and excuses left in me...

I went to the store, got something to drink and some food, then headed for a bench to sit and chill outside for a while.. While sitting there, one of my clients, a dude from Afghanistan, comes over.. He is a grateful dude, and one of my success stories from work. He looked at me, and said, so when are you going to tell everybody? I was like, excuse me? He was like, come on, I am from Afghanistan, we produce hash and opium dude, you can´t fool me.. Your detoxing. I can even smell it. By that time i just wanted to cry.

These ”PAWS” last for about 4 - 5 hours at a time. I have noticed that hard yoga or my Thai boxing classes trumps them. They go away 5 minutes into the training. Its like my brain gets so challenged and busy with something more extreme than the paws. And after training they are completely gone.. But I cant go that extreme when they hit every time.. I do yoga 6 mornings a week and muay thai 2 nights a week. Some gym too. The gym does not take the paws away.

Is it anything I can do to ease them? And what do you guys here do to deal with people you have to deal with that cant know the truth? All the lying is really getting to me. I cant go for 8, 10, 15 more weeks lying like this...
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#2

Postby hsal » Fri Sep 23, 2016 7:31 am

This forum is not active sometimes so don't get discouraged and thankyou for sharing with us your experience . You are doing everything right by doing yoga and reading . It's not easy coming of both cigs and weed at the same time so maybe you can work on getting some sort of a support system . Don't try to take any life changing decision during the first 6 months since this is already a big one . It's safe to say that It might take about 12 weeks before you start to feel better about yourself so hang in there , here is few stories on this forum which had helped me ;-
viewtopic.php?t=46892&start=60
viewtopic.php?t=68458
viewtopic.php?t=52919
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#3

Postby hsal » Fri Sep 23, 2016 7:35 am

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#4

Postby Bagobones » Sun Sep 25, 2016 9:08 am

2 weeks and some days

Thank you hsal for the encouragement, nice words and tips. Very helpful. I read all the links, and it was a lot of interesting and very inspiring reading. I learned a lot.

Still going strong, and still not smoking. I really don´t want weed anymore, so now I just feel this is a waiting game for the unpleasant feelings of recovery to be over, so I can move on.

Positive:

The positive changes I have noticed is mostly health. Better breathing, smell, taste, and so on. Google the benefits of stop smoking cigarettes to get the whole list. I am hoping also to see more money, but if I know myself right, they will be spent fast.. :D One weird unexpected side effect is that I cant drink as much coffee as I use to. I don't know why, but well, it is how it is.

Negative:

What I feel is negative apart from what Ive covered is that when i am home I really don't want to do much. I am sitting a lot around just staring into the air, and not getting anything done. Kind of similar to being really high on weed. But I guess 21 plus years of spacing out in a sofa is going to take some time to get over.

Example:

I have some good friends in the Philippines I really want to visit, that do a lot of cool stuff. So I sit around daydreaming about surfing Siargao with "Donna" and her crew, and also my friend I was chatting with that started this for me, lives and works in Manila. But when it comes to planning it out, like getting holiday from work, plane tickets and so on I come up with nothing. Its stuck in my head, on YouTube and on chat. All talk and no action.

The Paws is easier to handle now that its weekend. I have it right now, but I am just home chilling anyway, without plans, and no one around nagging me, and no one to lie to.. But I know when I am back in work mode on Monday it will be difficult to handle again.

okay, okay.. That´s it for this time..

I´ll end it with a quote from the Thai boxing community:

Always enter like a kitten and leave like a lion!

Peace!
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#5

Postby Bagobones » Tue Sep 27, 2016 9:22 pm

Over 3 weeks.

Muay Thai training just killed me today. So I can hardly type. Hard exercise and eating well is good..

I think most of the cigarette detox is over now. I hardly notice or think about it anymore. Apart from this morning during yoga. I am starting to be that guy that thinks smokers and cigarettes stinks bad. And that includes my yoga mat. It smells so bad of old smoke.. hehe..

I had a weed paws thing at work today too, but so much weaker. I get it after a good meal. that's the time my brain is expecting some good ganja.. Or that's my theory anyway. Still get super tired, start to sweat and lose concentration. it feels like my IQ drops a lot, and I get stupid. The sweating is still bad.. So bad. Like i have to change at least one tee at work. Then change again after work. During yoga I am almost embarrassed, I sweat so much. I walk to work and Muay Thai. Yoga is on the way to work. So a little bit moving my body and it starts.. My dreams are so very vivid too. But I love that.

That's it for now. Next milestone is a month.

Yoga quote today. its in the studio I practice:

Look after your body or you will have nowhere to live!

Namaste!
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#6

Postby Bagobones » Sun Oct 02, 2016 6:17 pm

3 weeks 5 days, sorry for the loooooong posts. Was hanging with miss Mary Jane and friends yesterday

Hi. I spent yesterday evening with a friend that smokes weed. It was a big boxing match yesterday in Scandinavia, so we had a nice night with some Asian food and saw the very short match! Go Brækhus!! Cecilie completely killed it in the ring last nigh! KO second round. he he.

My friend was smoking several big joints while I was there. It was just the two of us. One more joined in late night. But it was alright. I did not want to smoke at all.

Some time ago I read an article in Vice Magazine. A girl that dated a weed pusher. She said one of the annoying parts was the stoners talking and talking. Many of them had a PHD in Wikipedia, reddit and a black belt in google. Now I know what she was talking about.

It was fight night yesterday, so yeah, talking about fighting also. I want to try one of the Japanese Ninjutsu styles, Bujinkan. And OFF my friend went. Martial art vs martial arts. About the effectiveness on the streets vs in a cage, etc. I tried to tell her the best defense I know is good running abilities and I have no interest fighting in a ring other than sparring. I train Muay Thai EVERY single week. I never miss a training. At the end I was just sitting listening. We were joined by another stoner eventually, and the ridiculing of Bujinkan got even worst. I tried to mention I really liked the free running aspect of Bujinkan, but NOPE! Deaf ears. I tried to say I did this for health and fun, not street or ring fighting. Nope! I tried to mention I thought the Bujinkan club had nice, cool people i wanted to hang with. nonononono... I was wrong. This from people who has never been in a fight, or trained anything. (I have not been in any fights on the streets ever. It’s stupid).

They know what I work with. That violent street-fighting gangsters and former fighters straight out of for example Syria and Afghanistan is present around me 7.5 hours a day 5 days a week.

Obviously, IT job, endless internet surfing, no physical activity and weed is the almighty source for Jedi wisdom on the subject of hand to hand combat. Real world experience is useless according to them.

I would love to see them face to face with a furious muscle for hire dude straight from prison, knowing their mistake is the reason the guy is furious and want to smash their face in. hehe. Real life is very different then. I did that 3 times just last week. My smile, good mood and experience got me out of those situations, not any Muay Thai or Bujinkan. If anything, my yoga classes was a much better fight class for dealing with it and coming unharmed out of it.

Example from my job gone wrong, and how I won:
At the start of the "fight", I let him blow off steam screaming and yelling a bit, while I make sure I have an escape route and the violence alarm in my hand (any good yogi knows deep breaths has a calming experience), getting the upper hand in the fight, was seeing his eyes calming down enough to start talking to him a bit, me starting to dominate the fight was seeing him realizing it was another way to deal with this, and me winning the fight KO was the dude giving me the gangster hug, smiling and saying "you’re alright", lets fix this...
That with a dude that would scare the living daylights out of most people I know, that 30 seconds before screamed he was going to kill me...

A reality and victory these stoners from last night will never, EVER understand. The bad part is knowing I’ve spent a decade being just like them. A real high internet ninja!

Well bla bla bla.. sorry for boring you all. I don´t know quite what to say, for me it’s starting to be really easy. No really crappy things happening these days with the quitting of weed.

ill combine the two in today's quote, from a Muay Thai blog:

Flow like a beautiful yogi and sting like a killer martial artist!
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#7

Postby netty28661 » Mon Oct 03, 2016 2:39 pm

Hi bagobones, considering English isn't your first language, you are doing very well!

I quit 4 years ago after smoking weed for 10 years, Im 55 now.

You are definitely doing the right thing exercising, it is key to getting through the withdrawal & PAWS. I still go to the gym & do weights twice a week, I find cardio - cycling & cross trainer very beneficial & I swim once a week.

The yoga you do is a good thing, have you tried meditating? Even now I still find it really useful.

I used a book that helped me enormously in the early days of my quit - I Want To Change My Life by Steven M Melemis, it has allsorts of really great info in it.

I also had a problem when I quit in that only two people knew I was using weed, one of them fortunately was my boyfriend who I live with. It was hard not being able to explain what I was going through. I did end up being signed off work for 10 weeks in the first year due to PAWS, I was in a bad state.

I started feeling much much better at the 1 year point & gradually improved over the following year & even in the third year I still experienced subtle improvements.

It's hard but really worth it, I get soooooo much more out of life & want to do things, whilst using weed I was like a vegetable & couldn't be bothered with anything! I'd never ever go back!

Good luck
Jannette
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#8

Postby Bagobones » Tue Oct 04, 2016 5:02 am

Hi Jannette!

Long post AGAIN. Sorry. I cant seem to make them short!

Thank you! Languages like yoga is all practice. My English has been a bit downhill after divorcing my ex-wife from California. I actually speak 5 languages, so it´s also a bit confusing. I know one of them is rapidly being forgotten because of not using it at all these days.

4 years. Good for you Janette. Very inspiring. I look forward to my sober days. You made me realize I’ve been confusing all the terms. Detox, withdrawal and PAWS. Today is my 1 month without cigarettes and weed, so I guess I am in the detox/withdrawal stage of it. Or I find the cigarettes is over by now. Weed has turned into sleeplessness. Its 5.30 am here, and I’ve slept 4 hours. A nice dream woke me up. But the days I work out hard and works beats it. I have not worked since last Thursday. And no yoga this weekend. I did yoga yesterday. Saturday is always off, and Sunday was a so-called moon day. Meaning no yoga. Today is yoga, work and Thai-boxing. So sleeping is not going to be a problem.

Cool that you train a lot. I agree. It´s key to this. I want to do swimming and cycling too. Thank you for reminding me. I realized lately that my training lack fresh air and nature. And we have that in abundance here in Scandinavia. But as you know, only 24 hours a day. But ill figure it out. I need to bring Mother nature into this. With all her healing, beauty and loving.

Meditation? Do you do it? I don’t really know if I am doing it. It makes me so confused. I did mindfulness at work one hour every Friday for a while. One of the psychiatrists there had it, so I joined in. Yoga is kind of meditation with breathing. Breathing is key in yoga. Even the very physical ashtanga vinyasa yoga I do. Every move is connected to breathing. And doing it right, time slows down and its nothing else than the breathing and moving. Asthanga vinyasa yoga is also always ended with sitting for five minutes in lotus position, then laying down on your back with a blanket for 10 minutes, “meditating”! I also do mindfulness on an app called calm.
But I find that to be a very basic meditation. The person that got me into yoga is a zen Buddhist in Tokyo. A good friend. She is a lawyer, so she is far from a monk. But she is Japanese and have always been a zen Buddhist. So no western hippie pretending to be one. Hehe… I’ve joined her in the temple, and while she has been doing her meditation I’ve been counting my breath and taking some tips from her, and been sitting with her. I’ve also tried some TM meditation, but like with the zen meditation, I’ve only scratched the surface. And I feel (don’t know) that the meditation I do can’t compare to Miki´s meditation while she is practicing her religion. I know nothing about the Buddhism and zen, I just have a super good friend that I love dearly, a Japanese that’s living both the religion and the zen thing, so if what I write now is wrong, that’s the reason. I am not an expert, and usually that’s not what we are doing or talking about. Hehehe.

BTW, meditation is something that is often mentioned in this forum, and a good thread about it would be a nice idea, don’t you think Jannette?

Right now I have no real trouble with the detox/withdrawal, but I see many people mention the 2 month mark and later to be something to be mindful about. I suspect I’ll be one of the lucky ones that gets away from it, but I am prepared for the worst. I feel good, but I kind of feel a little high still, like it´s not left my body and mind 100% yet.

Thank you for the book tips Jannette, i´ll read it for sure. I 100% agree with you on wanting to do things again. I feel my old travel bug is hitting me slowly again. I would not be surprised if one of the future posts is written from Miki´s place in Tokyo or my friends place in Thailand or Manila. My yoga teacher has a dope setup in Bali too, that is tempting me more and more…

that’s it for today.

Ill end it with a quote from the Instagram account of a yogi I know:

Magic is something you make!

Peace
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#9

Postby netty28661 » Fri Oct 07, 2016 10:41 am

Hi, I found the first 4 weeks were hard in their own way but you are in the first throes of the quit & we are still being positive, between 4 & 8 weeks I found the temptation to smoke was really bad, once I got past that the cravings were easier & I did know I would never use again but them withdrawal starts. It wasn't until 6 months in that I developed PAWS. Different symptoms occur at different times & it's different with everyone!

When I say I meditate - all I do is sit quietly & concentrate on my breath & count, I let thoughts come & go, you can't block thoughts, you have to learn to let them go!

You are definitely keeping positive & your mind is open to new ideas & new places to travel to - so it's all good!

Jannette
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#10

Postby Bagobones » Wed Oct 12, 2016 10:24 am

5 weeks today. still not been smoking anything!

Thai boxing done. I am beaten and bruised. we practiced blocking kicks without shins guards on.. or practicing taking pain.. hehe.. I also took some hard kicks to my stomach, and took a lot of kicks on my guard.. that is shoulders and arms.. so apart from the workout it was also a lot of beating to be had.. a strong guy kicked me over and over.

2 hours Ashtanga yoga this morning. A lot of balancing on one foot. Sun salutation A and B, then standing positions. Yoga and muay thai. such ying and yang.. but i find it to be a good match. they complement each other nicely..

Apart from that I have started remodeling my apartment. full renovation. And that´s also been my strategy for quitting. keeping busy, training, working and meeting new people. Keep moving. Keep positive. Keep myself way out of my comfort zone.. Getting to bed every night really tired, then up early and go-go-go-go.. Keeping a tight schedule and have a clear plan every day.

It seems to be working. I usually don´t have any time even thinking about my quit. And I have no real discomforts worth mentioning. I sleep a bit bad sometimes, but even the sweating is almost gone..

Addiction number 3 I have started working on, or that has started by itself is internet. I still use it hours a day, but it’s much more targeted surfing. Like now, I have to finish this, then find a new yoga studio since the schedule for the one i use is not a good match to my new job.. I haven´t spent all night surfing and gaming these last 5 weeks at all.

Well that´s about it for week 5. according to a lot of ex long term chronic weed smokers, and studies, it’s going to come a late round of withdrawal problems and PAWS. I am being mindful of that..

today’s quote:

Log out, shut down do yoga! :)

Peace!
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#11

Postby Bagobones » Tue Oct 18, 2016 9:27 pm

6 weeks. Still feeling weird, still not smoking!

6 weeks is nothing, but still feel like Ive been off weed and ciggs for sooooo longI

I haven't done yoga for a long time now. Or 6 days to be exact. I am going back tomorrow. I changed job, so I had to plan it, and totally failed to do so. I had to get a bike, and plan my time, and start to use the bike to yoga, then to work in the mornings. It took a lot of brainpower to plan such an easy thing. I am back to not managing to plan anything again. Which is kind of bad, because Ive got a lot in the works..

Same with the muay thai. I was laying a new floor today in my apartment, and when I was closing in on muay thai, I was just too tired in my back to go.. Bad planning, no guts. and not enough food in my body for that hard workout and beating. So I stayed home instead!

My apartment is getting some progress. As one of my pinoy Manila friends always says, consistency is the important part. So a few hours a day. I have come a long way, and reconnected with an old friend in the process that's working as a interior person. She is beautiful and sexy too, that does not hurt either.. hehe...

My new job is going good. But I am hoping it will be a short lived adventure. I had a new job interview today. For some REAL adventure stuff.. hehe.. But ill get the answer in a week on that one. That one includes traveling to some very cool places, with some interesting people. But Ill not celebrate just yet...

I use an app for my cigarette quit. it says my cilia has started to work again now. I can kind of feel it. I keep getting some slime up from my longs, with some black stuff in it. I think its good. they are cleaning themselves...

Weed as I have said, back to blurry vision and a low IQ.. No planning and strategy making powers at all.. hehe.. And I kind of feel high all the time. high and a bit sluggish.. Ill get back on the muay thai and yoga horse again hardcore from tomorrow, and see what happens...

todays quote:

Don't bite off more than you can chew....

or

Always Bite Off More Than You Can Chew...Then Chew Like Hell.

I cant decide.. both are fun..

Peace!
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#12

Postby Bagobones » Tue Oct 25, 2016 9:00 pm

7 weeks, still no weed, no cigarettes...

When you work out hard, it’s not only training, but also restitution. It’s as important as the training itself. Work out, eat and sleep!

The remodeling of my apartment has kind of taken over my life. So much that I don’t find time to do anything else. But I must finish it too. With my life in a mess at home I have not found the energy to do sports activities. Which is bad.

Asthanga yoga, Muay thai, socializing and networking has been suffering because of it.

But this weekend a fine inspiring lady is visiting me from out of town, I have got a birthday to attend and I’ve seen great progress, so I’ll get back to it soon enough.

For my quits, its back to not being a problem. My head is clear and no real things to report. Staying away from weed is not a problem, and I have not had any discomforts since last week.

Quit smoking or die trying…

Peace!
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#13

Postby Bagobones » Tue Nov 01, 2016 10:22 am

Eight weeks. Still going strong. In it to win it.

Oito semanas. Surpreendente
Ocho semanas. Fantástico.
Walo ka semana. Maayo kaayo.
Åtte uker. Fantastisk.

8 weeks down. hehe.. :D Today ill buy myself something nice. Maybe a jacket. A big warm jacket, because this little country is getting cold and dark. And also a big strawberry milkshake. And probably an airline ticket to someplace nice and warm for a few days.

And its Tuesday. That means Muay Thai. Somebody is getting a hard celebration roundhouse kick from me. Hopefully a dude I usually spar with or a k1 kick boxer girl i like to kick sometimes. :D :D Maayo, maayo, oi!

Well, what can I say. Still the same. Not much to report. No drama. Sleeping is kind of all over the place, and concentration is up and down. Other than that I have nothing to complain about.

My real estate development is sucking me dry of money and driving me slowly insane, but no surprises there. Been there, done that many times before. Always high, so doing it sober is new. The fun starts when i hit Ikea to make it nice at the end, with the interior girl.

I have not done asthanga yoga for a long time now and I really miss it. I need to visit an asthanga yoga shala soon..

Ive been thinking about going to my doctor to check on my lungs. I have not been nice to them for over 20 years, and its something I have been thinking about. But ill maybe wait another month to do it.

So there you have it. Compared to many others journeys here on this forum, I feel mine has been fairly easy so far. I was struggling a little in the beginning. But nothing really bad. No days off work or anything like that. I´ve even switched jobs during my detox.

So I feel this journal is shaping up to be the one that shows that you can quit both a over 20 year high grade weed addiction and smoking cigarettes at the same time, cold turkey, and still be okay. No panic attacks or depressions so far.

Never give up!!

Peace!
Bagobones
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#14

Postby Bagobones » Tue Nov 15, 2016 11:42 pm

10 weeks today. Still a straight non smoker.

I have stopped drinking alcohol too. I only had a minor problem with booze. The very few times I drink alcohol during a year I get too drunk, and spend too much money, and do stupid stuff. Like the last time, I ended up with some people with a shitload of cocaine. Ended up snorting a bunch with them and sleeping with a girl i would not have slept with otherwise.. Its just I end up doing stuff that´s not me at all. And its so nasty to be drunk. Like seeing drunk people. I don´t want to be like that ever. Also I noticed the people I know that always just have a couple of drinks, or don´t drink at all the last few times. and they had a much better time than me.. So since 3 weeks ago no alcohol at all for me. If I quit caffeine too, ill be a straight-edge guy, hehehe.. Maybe I should start listening to punk rock again and skateboard like in the 90´s...

I am really lacking motivation these days. Like worst ever. This is the weed quit, i am sure. I googled it, and found a couple of treads where it was people who basically said how I am feeling these days. I have much less motivation now than when i was a stoner. But I make sure to have progress where i want to have progress. super-slow progress, but still progress. and its somewhat more systematic progress then when I was a stoner.

I don't do either yoga or muay thai these days. But i do eat like I do both, so i am growing a belly.. Seems my motivation has gone and my appetite has returned with a vengeance.. I have a goal weight I was working on. People into full contact fighting is into their weight. I am no different. So now I am going to reach that weight in record time, but with a fat belly instead of a six-pack.. I am a skinny guy. So my goal is to gain a lot of weight, not losing weight like most people.. If you know the famous MMA fighters, I am after the same weight as a Californian fighter named Nate Diaz.. I am a little taller than him, and i want to be a little lighter than him, but roughly the same. But I need my motivation back if I am going to become ripped and his weight. his weight with a belly is no problem.. hehehe..

My apartment is going slow and steady. I am really into minimalist style these days. so going for that. mix a little scandinavian/japan minimalist style..

Next big goal is 3 month mark for me. 12 weeks. Ill celebrate and give myself a gift then.

Today´s quote comes from this forum if I remember correctly:

Recovery is NOT a thinking thing, it's a doing thing.

Peace
Bagobones
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