Need to rid the jealousy

Postby jessicahudson » Wed Oct 19, 2016 12:52 am

I've been married for almost 5 years and we have a good relationship. I have low self esteem which turns into jealousy when other women come around. I've practiced switching my thoughts, I'm trying self-acceptance exercises, looking for the gold in every situation. But I can't seem to let go of the feeling that I'm not good enough for my husband. He's the owner of a successful business, a marine, has a very large group of friends (who I still have yet to form any kind of relationships with because I get nervous around people) he's a people person and very outgoing.
I'm none of those things. Im nervous and weird around people, I'm not working or in school at the moment because I haven't figured my sh** out yet (going back to school in a few months) So when another woman comes around with all the same qualities as him I feel threatened. (instead I should be cheering women on when they're doing well for themselves!). He tells me he loves me and I believe him. But it's to a point where I don't bring my best friend around too much because she's got her life together, she's beautiful and outgoing, positive, and he might see how much better she'd be for him. I don't feel like there's much good about me. And I feel like he'll leave me the moment he realizes I'm not for him and there's better out there.
I just don't want to be jealous anymore and I don't like feeling inadequate for someone I'm very in love with.

I shouldn't compare. I shouldn't allow my self worth to be based off of my husband loving me, either. So the problem is a lack of self love, I guess. I don't know how to truly find it.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Oct 19, 2016 3:04 am

You build self-esteem by building. It is an active process. You don't read your way or think your way into having high self-esteem, you actually build it, you actively construct it. This means setting and achieving goals. Set a goal to run a marathon and then do it, that will help build your self-esteem. It is not about comparing yourself to others running the marathon. You run your own marathon, you set your own challenging goals and your self-esteem will grow.
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#2

Postby jessicahudson » Wed Oct 19, 2016 3:30 am

Thank you so much for your response! I really appreciate it.
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