Decision to quit smoking weed

Postby Saferinthedark » Mon Nov 07, 2016 3:53 pm

Hi there,

I am very new to this forum and decided after a massive panic attack yesterday, that I needed to quit weed for good.

For years I have smoked at least one joint daily but have had times when I haven't used like if I have gone on holiday for a couple of weeks.

I'm at a really difficult time in my life. I have just come out of a serious relationship with my girlfriend. We were living together and engaged to be married, but then various events led to the breakdown of our relationship and now I am living back at home with my parents.

I have suffered for years with a very severe case of IBS, mainly triggered by stress and anxiety and most recently due to my relationship breakdown, I have been so unwell and unable to eat properly that I have lost just over a stone in weight taking me to just 7 stone 3 lbs which for my age (29) and height (5ft 6in) is very underweight.

I have always used weed as a form of pain management. I always found that it helped with my stomach pain and to relieve the anxiety I felt due to the IBS.

But now I am not so sure it does help me but actually makes me feel more anxious and paranoid and I over think all the negative aspects of my life.

I am also taking 60mg of Fluoxetine and 20mg of Amitriptyline prescribed by my doctor and also take 2 30/500 Co codamol every time I eat to avoid severe stomach cramps and the instant need to go to the toilet with my IBS.

I know that a lot of people may think 1-2 joints a day is not a significant amount so it should be easier for me to knock it on the head, but I think it's more the fear of quitting and knowing that I inevitably will feel negative side effects of withdrawal that have put me off quitting all together.

Emotionally, I am struggling so much. I have an amazing family especially my parents and some good friends but I feel lonely all the time. My girlfriend and I (I'm a lesbian) were in quite a toxic relationship but I loved her fiercely and now I just feel so empty inside.

I have a job that I love and money is not really an issue at the moment as I am living with my parents virtually rent free, but I still feel like I have totally failed with my life. I have been engaged 3 times to my longterm girlfriends and each time it has ended pretty horrifically.

I know I just need some support and I need to make some changes to my life in order to create a better future for myself. The first thing I feel needs to go is the weed, but I am already struggling with my willpower and am scared that I will just give up trying to give up. I feel constantly anxious and I am now so fearful that this will intensify with the withdrawal from weed.

I hope someone can help me or give me some advice as to how I go about giving weed up and getting my life back on track.

Thank you in advance for any help you may be able to give.

Saferinthedark
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#1

Postby tokeless » Mon Nov 07, 2016 6:01 pm

Hi,
I think you have some false beliefs especially with your physical health.. co-codamol taken regularly can create problems and won't help the IBS. This is a stress related condition which can also have dietry factors.
Managing your stress in other ways will help overall.. try exercise and socialising in non smoking places/people.
Alot of quitting weed is managing the fear because it's become your solution but isn't really. How did you manage when on holiday? Fine I'll bet but not having easy access helps. You have to accept that smoking a joint doesn't change stress or problems, it just numbs you to the feelings.
Just try and if it fails, reflect on why, change those factors and yet again... challenge the psychology of thinking you need it, you don't.
Best wishes
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#2

Postby dylan843 » Mon Nov 07, 2016 6:22 pm

I very sorry to hear about your situation.

Long story short when i was 18 i was arrested for something i thought would get me years in prison, so once i bailed out, out of panic for my situation, i decided i needed to quit weed.

Eventually, i got a 1000 dollar fine and 50 hours community service thank god, but with the news i wasnt going to be locked up, within a short time period i started smoking again.

I guess the point im trying to make is even though you are going though a tough time, make sure your desire to quit goes far beyond your panic of the situation you are in losing your girl, because if not when things get better, and they will get better, you dont wanna fall right back in.

Good luck, message me if you need any advice ive been though this many times now and am now going through it again.
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#3

Postby Saferinthedark » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:51 pm

Hi there

Thank you for your responses :)

So its day 2 of not smoking weed and I will be honest I am finding it hard.

Emotionally I am not having a good time and all I want to do is dull the feelings but ultimately I know that it doesn't really help.

Tokeless - I feel like there is also a possibility I am addicted to the co codamol but it was prescribed by a doctor and it's been the only thing that has really ever been able to control my diarrhoea predominant IBS.

Dylan843 - Your message about making sure I give up for the right reasons and not just because of my breakup completely resonated with me. I know I need to do this for me but at the same time I do feel like my break up and the terrible feelings that come with that are the main driving force behind wanting to quit. That and the fact that my last joint made me feel extremely low and I had a panic attack.

I am spending more time now with friends that do not smoke (to be honest never really had a lot of friends that did as it was more something i enjoyed to do on my own) and started the gym the other day, but also very conscious of that because I cannot afford to lose any more weight.

I am trying to do different things like spending time reading and I am also trying to practice mindfulness to help with my anxiety, but my mind just keeps wandering to the thought of a joint. If it wasn't for the fact that it's so cold outside and I can't smoke indoors, then there is a strong possibility I would have relapsed already.

The thought of PAWS being an ongoing issue for 2+ years is scaring the crap out of me, but I also want to have the strength to follow this through.

I am also going to see an orthodontist about having invisalign braces fitted to correct my wonky teeth and missing tooth from an extraction and hoping that if all goes well with the consultation and I do choose these that it will give me a bit more motivation to not want to smoke as I will have to wear the invisalign for 22 hours a day and would not be able to smoke with these in because it would stain the aligners. Plus it will be a financial commitment so I may not want to spend money on weed again. Although only really spend about £20 a week on weed so it's never really been about the financial aspect for me.

I am going to see how long I can keep away from the weed and just hope that the longer I can refrain, the stronger my willpower and resolve will become.

Thanks again for your replies. It does mean a lot. X
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#4

Postby dylan843 » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:33 pm

Heres the thing about paws, its mostly bs, its an excuse, it takes 3 years sometimes because whatever the real issue is is never dealt with head on and it takes a long time to work itself out. The withdrawals are real yes but once they pass your brain may be a bit fuzzy for a few months but the whole paws thing im convinced was jnvented by a person who was depreseed or whatever it may be and didnt want to do anyrhing about it, didnt want therapy for it, dodnt want to try ad's, didnt want to admit it they were depressed, so they went oh yeah its probably just cause of weed. Everyone else looking for a reason (including me in the past) jumped on board and it was a thing. Thats why you will read a broad range of paws symptoms from different people.

The best way to quit is to have a fighting attitude, dont count your days in sorrow, its just i used to smoke weed and now i dont. This quit attempt i am underway has been cake compared to when it was a big boo woo pity party for me. I get cravings to smoke a good bit but so what? Yeah it would be nice to have a smoke right now but they what dylan? Youre going to sit on the back deck watching stand up on youtube then youll go inside eat 5 donuts play video games for 15 minutes get uninterested and take a nap and then wake up and repeat, think about how much better you feel and how you get sh** done without it.

You are in the actual withdrawls right now, for me about a week or so later these were gone, and i smoked a half ounce of good weed like clockwork. You only smoking a little bit and being a smaller lady you have a real advantage with the withdrawals.

Also its good to understand we are creatures of habit, learn to recognize the habit of wanting to smoke and find something that replaces it. For me it was lifting weights. I havent missed a day yet because its not with any goal in mind, ive made it my habit to feel better. Lions arent king of the jungle because they are hungry, its because they love the hunt. Find something you can do thats healthy and makes you feel good and do it, and do it because you want to and not because you wanna forget about weed if that makes sense.

Good luck.
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#5

Postby Roady » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:57 pm

Saferinthedark wrote: I know I need to do this for me but at the same time I do feel like my break up and the terrible feelings that come with that are the main driving force behind wanting to quit.


Hi
It's always great if somebody decide to stop with some destructive habit.
Can you describe that "terrible feelings" for yourself?
Do you know how this feelings are build up in your inner?
Do you see cause and result in this?
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#6

Postby Saferinthedark » Wed Nov 09, 2016 9:16 am

Roady wrote:
Saferinthedark wrote: I know I need to do this for me but at the same time I do feel like my break up and the terrible feelings that come with that are the main driving force behind wanting to quit.


Hi
It's always great if somebody decide to stop with some destructive habit.
Can you describe that "terrible feelings" for yourself?
Do you know how this feelings are build up in your inner?
Do you see cause and result in this?


The terrible feelings consist of feeling immense rejection, disappointment, worthlessness, bewilderment etc. I have been through break ups before and again suffered terribly with my stomach issues, and I know that in this instance I am stronger than I was before, but it still doesn't stop the feelings of total despair and questioning everything I thought I knew. I mean the break up and subsequent actions from my ex afterwards are so complex, there are so many different contributing factors that led to this breakdown, but now I need to try and navigate my way through these feelings without dulling them with the use of weed.
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#7

Postby Roady » Wed Nov 09, 2016 11:21 am

Yes, rejection is the thing making the deepest wounds.
O man I feel so sorry for you reading this gravely words.

I do recognize certain feelings from my own life. I was involved in a strong porn addiction, so I know what it is to feel totally jammed, dead, dark, empty and lost.

But there is always hope and a way out. Nowadays I feel free from that addiction, although sometimes I experience the pulling strength of it.

There is something deep inside you who wants to live!
Even after pushing away all the pain and fear for years.
Better to start thinking and admitting the fear than just going on destructing yourself with smoking drugs.
It's better to experience what you feel, than running away from that feelings.
Start getting some knowledge and wisdom. There is so much to read about addictions, inner pain, expressing pain,
become free of emotions, wisdom etc.
Start focus on other things. Try to do some exercise every day. Do some writing.
Try to do something for somebody else. That will make your day a different day.
Develop new habits. Everything to do, will change your believe system.
You have only forgotten how valuable you are. If you only should know this, and you would treat yourself like this believe, it's only a matter of time becoming totally free from your weed-usage.
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