I Got Punished & abused in front my family, what do i do ?

#15

Postby sonpan » Thu Jan 05, 2017 12:48 pm

TheCloud wrote:
sonpan wrote:Thank you for your reply, To Some extend your are right, That quack or my family has No regret or agony for what i gone through, but this hurts me NOW, i mean Now i feel much frustrated Emotionally and psychology, what he did has had a long lasting effect on me while growing up


Yes, I can see that this is a source of much agony for you. I want to make it clear that my goal is not to erase your anger. It is quite alright for you to be upset. What I want is to help you see an option that is better for you personally than being angry. People don't choose to be miserable if they can see an alternative; it is only when every other possibility looks hopeless or useless that people choose to anger as a means of warding off potential threats.

You see, you imagine that you cannot communicate with your family who has done this thing to you, so you hold onto your anger as armor and a weapon to harm them if they ever try something like that again. Since you can't see any way of helping them to understand, you decide that you will at least make them regret having abused you as they did. This is the greatest happiness that you can imagine for the future.

I would like to show you that a greater happiness is possible, a future where you do not need to be angry in order to protect yourself. Is this something you have thought about or are interested in?


Yes, i would like to be happy, but i want to say something before, you know i am form a very populated country from Asia, and here my country has several states,some are quite developed and some are very rural and undeveloped, in developed and modern parts of country people are being aware of injustice and other crimes,however in rural and undeveloped parts of country still don't care too much for this sort of incidents.

That quack was a unqualified rural doctor who also used to boast of having occult power and black-magic so most of the family person had a blind faith in him, and the let him allowed to punish ( molest ) me, and on the pretext of punishment he used to molest and sexually assault me very badly. and since my family ( my uncle, aunt,mom and others ) supported him so later he became totally fearless, and he began treating me like a slave.

usually in our rural village boys of age 12-13, used to become nude when the taking bath in river or canals so it was not new, but still there was a difference most young boys who used to swim nude in village were not being forced BUT i didn't want to strip but HE used to force me and strip me, Also since my family supported and was OK with this so others neighbors never minded this. also in village there were CAST System for lower class ( poors) and Upper Cast ( riches ).....since we belonged to lower cast ( poor one ) so this sort of punishment was not new for the rural peoples......often if a poor low cast boys got caught stealing crops or caught stealing Mangoes ( after plucking it ) so rural people used to strip him nude and paraded him nude in village as punishment.

My mom was a Fat lazy lady, and since my father left him, she became dependent on aunt's family, and she was OK with what aunt was saying or doing, my sister's used to make and c**k foods, sweeping the house, where as i had to do all the outworks from market to Fields or crops, and even protecting Mango Trees from other naughty boys of village, if my sisters used to do any mistake my mom or aunt used to beat them but in my case my aunt or mom used to call that quack to punish me, and to that they used to order me to remove all the clothes and sit and wait for him wearing only a underwear, when my sister's used to see me sitting in my underwear they would get to know that i am going to be punished and before that quack used to arrive,my sisters used to call some neighboring girls and boys to witness my punishment, and when that quack used to come, he used to pull off my underwear in front everyone and would punish me by pulling on my penis badly, for my family, sister's and other neighboring girls and boys it was a funny show but for me it was very painful and embarrassing.....slowly slowly my sister's and neighboring boys and girls spread this thing in my school and i was teased and bullied in my school by classmates and i got it very difficult to confront them in school, and at home i had no idea how to deal with that quack, if i ever tried to resist him then he used to slap me and would pull my hairs, once one of my sister asked to that quack that he pull on my penis, so it can damage me but he replied that young boys penis are quite flexible and can be pulled to some extent and it will not get damage, so they let him continue this for almost 2 years and i had to tolerate this ALL.
sonpan
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#16

Postby TheCloud » Thu Jan 05, 2017 6:01 pm

I am glad that you are expressing your anger here, and telling your story. Many children who grow up as you did, being abused, hold their anger and shame inside until they become abusers themselves. So long as you let your anger and your shame out here, where no one is being hurt, you will not become an abuser.

The things that were done to you were not good for you, but as bad as it is for you, it is much worse to be the person who does those kinds of things. You were abused, but it is possible for you to find peace. If you had abused others, you would find no peace. Your actions would haunt you until you took responsibility for them.

Your family and your doctor may not seem as if they are suffering, but that is because they hide it from others because it is a shameful thing. They cannot keep it hidden from themselves, though, and they will always have memories of the things they have to take responsibility for. It is a sad thing, for though they may seem powerful to you, inside they are afraid of themselves, and the more bad things they do, the more afraid they become.

So you have a choice to make now. You can hold your anger and shame inside you so that it becomes a fire that burns you and those around you. Or you can release your emotions here, and instead find peace with the actions that have been made against you. You do not know much about peace, because you have not been able to learn from the angry people around you. But it is something you can learn, if that is what you choose to do.




It is a terrible thing to be abused, but it is much worse to be an abuser. Those who are harmed can more easily find peace. Those who harm others will find no peace. It is a sad thing to see, because there can be no true happiness for them until they take responsibility for their choices. The same is true for you, but since you have not hurt others very much, your choices will be easier for you to accept.

So it is a good thing that you are expressing your anger here. It means that you are choosing to become a happy and productive person who does not hurt others for your own satisfaction. Your other choice is to hold your anger inside you and build it up until it burns you and the people around you.
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#17

Postby sonpan » Thu Jan 05, 2017 6:52 pm

I do not want to hurt anyone, ALSO every abused don't turn to be a abuser.....BUT I do not want to get away them with this (i know it's too late though)...
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#18

Postby TheCloud » Fri Jan 06, 2017 5:42 pm

sonpan wrote:I do not want to hurt anyone, ALSO every abused don't turn to be a abuser.....BUT I do not want to get away them with this (i know it's too late though)...


What can you do to stop them from getting away with it, other than hurt them? It would be best if they came to justice, but think very carefully about what justice would be. After all, the "justice" that you have learned came from the people who called together a group to laugh while a quack abused you. Have you ever seen or recognized true justice? You have never given out justice yourself, and it is not as simple as revenge, or calling a witch doctor. I do not think you would know what to do with the power to punish others, even if you had it.

So think carefully about what you are asking for, when you say that you do not want them to get away with this. Think carefully, so that when you have your own power, you will know what to do with it.
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