I am still seeking my mother's approval: An update

#15

Postby Petakash » Sat Dec 24, 2016 2:43 pm

Ok
She feels embarrassed that I am asking persons for money. She said if I had come to her I would not be begging people for money one, and two if I decided to do something on my own, her favourite phrase is this "I did know you were going to this or that and if I were you, I would not do it this way or that way."
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#16

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Dec 25, 2016 2:46 am

Petakash wrote:Yes they do Richard. If you look at most of the persons who have multi million/billion business have actually begged friends, family and other persons to get a headstart, yet still were turned down. So they went to others. All they wanted was someone to believe in them, and give them a helping hand. That is all.

That is why I started my gofundme account Richard. I am asking for persons to help me realize my dreams because it is important to me.


No Petakash. Beggars do not achieve their dreams. Beggars live day to day, because they have nothing to offer. They have no useful skills that provide value. Same as you probably have nothing to offer with your gofundme and it is why you are not getting funded.

The idea you are comparing a millionaire/billionaire to a beggar shows how out of touch with reality you are. Those people are seeking capital for a good, service, product or idea that will generate value. They are not asking for a plane ticket. They get turned down again and again, because people don't want to take the risk investing their money in hopes of a return on their money....

That is worth typing again and in big letters... A RETURN ON THEIR MONEY....do you understand the difference between a beggar and an entrepreneur asking friends to invest in their idea? It doesn't sound like you do.

You are begging for money with no offer of any sort of return. You are not an entrepreneur trying to realize a dream that will return value to an investor. You are begging like a bum on a street corner, offering nothing in return.
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#17

Postby Petakash » Sun Dec 25, 2016 2:45 pm

While you may see it as me begging being a bum on the street...which is harsh from your perspective, I am not being a bum nor a beggar with no return on their investment. I am not as dumb as you think and I am not as flighty as you may believe. I do understand people want to see a return on their investment, when they invest in a person. You don't know how many persons who are in high positions right now, that got their investments from having a dream and yes begging people for help, some of them, living on the streets. But because they have a dream of making it, they did not give up. If you do, then you would not be harsh about it. I have begged and I am proud of the choice I made of asking/begging. I know what is at stake here, my dream and the hope of offering back to someone.

I am not lost on reality like you say. If someone can fund a cat needing help, then I am sure that they can fund a person who really has the dream of going to achieve their dream. My dream is there for the taking, and I believe in MY DREAM. I don't really particularly care if you say whether or not I am a bum because I know I am not. You do not know the full brunt of my situation, you only know parts of it that I tell you. I formed my gofundme, because yes, I do hope and believe in the spirit of Humanity, and that humanity will have a heart and help to fund a person's dream that they believe in.

You are harsh in your concept. Maybe you have lost out on your dream. But I won't let your words deter me from losing out on mine. Call me a beggar or bum, your words will sting and hurt but they will not deter me from living my dream.
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#18

Postby Petakash » Sun Dec 25, 2016 2:54 pm

Also, Richard, you may think me as a bum who is on the street, but a bum would not be scouring the internet for online jobs to help fund their dream or trying to compete with other persons for jobs online. And trying to find jobs within my geographical location which are very few because I don't live in the states or Canada, to help fund my dream. Like you say a bum lives day by day...which I am not. I am asking/begging persons who know what it means to have a dream and want to see that dream become a reality
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#19

Postby Roady » Sun Dec 25, 2016 2:55 pm

Hi Petakash,

I have still a question for you:

You want to achieve a dream, but...
what is your deepest drive to achieve your dream?

What is your deepest drive to get that money.

Please be as honest as you can.
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#20

Postby Petakash » Sun Dec 25, 2016 3:06 pm

Hi Roady,
My drive is to walk across that platform and accept my masters with a big smile on my face, knowing that the journey to get there was fraught with hardship, but it didn't break me. Also to prove to myself that yes I did it, despite the naysayers and the doubters...but I did it.
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#21

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Dec 25, 2016 3:34 pm

Petakash wrote:...I am not being a bum nor a beggar with no return on their investment.


Petakash,

What return are you promising people for investing in you?

Whether or not my words sting is up to you. I have not seen your gofundme account, but I do know that in this thread you have not once explained why people should invest in you! Why Petakash? You are focused on you, you, you and your dream and what you want. That doesn't get you funded. That doesn't inspire people to invest in you.

What does inspire people is when you focus on them and you tell them how THEY WILL BENEFIT from the money they provide to you.

Tell me Petakash, what is in it for me? What is in it for anyone to invest in you? There are thousands upon thousands of gofundme accounts, charities, and ways for me to use my HARD EARNED money. Why should I choose you over any other person or idea? Why should I donate to you instead of another cause? What will you do for me that demonstrates that choosing you and your dream is better than choosing the dream of some kid with cancer or an entrepreneur with a way to provide clean water to poor villages?

All you continue to say is you have this dream and you need money. That is not inspiring Petakash. You just come off as a low value, selfish, beggar that is focused on what you want and not what you can provide others. Change how you present yourself, learn to focus on what others want and how you can help them and you will begin to see people to consider you something other than a beggar.
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#22

Postby Petakash » Sun Dec 25, 2016 4:05 pm

All I have done in this thread is to try and defend my actions to you Richard. Even when Roady had explained things to you in a perspective, you have came off to me as being harsh and hard. From the start, you have pegged me as a bum, beggar, filled with spite and anger and the fact that I am 35 years old with no idea of how to fund myself and asking persons for a "handout". You had already formed your opinion of me.

My dream, is to become the best person and human being and why should people invest in me you ask. Persons should invest in me because in me they see themselves, someone who has a dream, someone who wants to make a difference in the world. I want to help persons who are in my situation, and provide funding for them. For persons who want help to do their masters, or their first degree overseas who may not get the full scholarship but a partial one. One who does not even know where their next meal is coming from. I want to provide that support especially to Caribbean students who are overseas. I want to pay it forward and help someone achieve their life's dream. I want to help to elevate someone from one station to another level.

To you Richard I may come off as selfish and low value. That is your opinion of me. Focusing on what I want, that is the only thing that I is keeping me sane right now. Call that selfish but it is what it is. I have changed how I presented myself, but like I said, from my initial post, you have pegged me as such. You said you have never visited my gofundme account, then you will not know what I want.

Richard, I am tired of explaining to you my decisions and my cause. Like I said, ever since I posted, I have been in one battle with you after another. Whatever opinion you have formed, like I said, is yours. I know what I want, and I know who I am.
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#23

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Dec 25, 2016 4:42 pm

Petakash wrote:My dream, is to become the best person and human being and why should people invest in me you ask. Persons should invest in me because in me they see themselves, someone who has a dream, someone who wants to make a difference in the world.


Yawn. That is what everyone says. Nothing special here. Boring. Everyone "wants to make a difference". No reason to choose you and your dream over the kid with cancer or the entrepreneur with a dream of helping a village get clean water.

I want to help persons who are in my situation, and provide funding for them. For persons who want help to do their masters, or their first degree overseas who may not get the full scholarship but a partial one. One who does not even know where their next meal is coming from. I want to provide that support especially to Caribbean students who are overseas. I want to pay it forward and help someone achieve their life's dream.


Much better! More specific as to what you want to do in life. Now, how will you actually do it? What is your plan? Why do you need to study abroad to accomplish the above? Fact is, you don't. You could start a non-profit and begin helping people get degrees overseas without you having done the same. But, that is not what you really want...you actually only want it for yourself. Which takes us back to people picking up on what you are selling as BS. You have no credibility that this is what you want to do in life, because this is not what you are telling people.

You are not saying, give me money so I can help build an organization to help others. No. You are saying give me money without explaining any sort of plan.

Richard, I am tired of explaining to you my decisions and my cause.


Your cause? This entire thread and this is the first time you have offered up something that is not about you, you, you. It is the first post where you mentioned a cause other than yourself. If you want funding, lead with how you will help others.
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#24

Postby Petakash » Sun Dec 25, 2016 4:57 pm

Richard, I want a masters, I want to fund others who are in the same situation and help them achieve their dreams. Non Profit don't do well in developing countries and right now with the recession, persons are scaling back. on the amount of contributions that they are giving. I want someone, one person to believe in me and my potential. If you had visited my gofundme page, you would have seen what I said. But you chose not to do so...so like I said, my cause is there on my gofundme page. You chose to pick parts of my posts that would just hammer your point home.

I am guessing you have asked me why, but you have backed it up with statements of being a beggar, a bum and without giving me a chance to state my cause. I have always wanted to help others. I have always dream of helping others.

But thank you Richard for showing me humanity at its realest. It has been a true eye opener
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#25

Postby Roady » Sun Dec 25, 2016 5:07 pm

Petakash wrote:Hi Roady,
My drive is to walk across that platform and accept my masters with a big smile on my face, knowing that the journey to get there was fraught with hardship, but it didn't break me. Also to prove to myself that yes I did it, despite the naysayers and the doubters...but I did it.


As long as you want to prove yourself (to who???) you are definitely not "yourself".

I am myself, and I have no single need to prove myself to others, because I am free.
Do you get what I mean?

If you want money to prove yourself to your mother, how valuable is that whole action actually?
The only reason you should have some money is to maintain yourself, so you can sleepsomewhere, eat something and help another who has less then you.

Do you know that wanting to prove yourself points to a low self-esteem?

So my advice to you is:
Start work on that self-esteem, find ways to grow out of it.
When you find a consciousness of your real value, you wouldn't need to prove yourself any longer.

Every try to prove yourself is a lie, a misleading. It is totally useless, because you will never reach the point that you have done enough to let your mother or father say to you:
Well done, now I know that you exist. Now I start loving you. Now I see that you are worth to receive my love and attention and affection etc.

That's nonsense,so proving yourself will not bring you what you expect it to bring you.
But... that's just my opinion about it.


-----

And don't take the advises here too personally.
We only show how things can work in life.
The fact that it touches you somewhere in your heart can show that there is truth in what is said.
Defensing yourself always show that there is something to defense.
And what that is, is what you have to discover.

Please think about it. And maybe it's wise to not respond too fast.
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#26

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Dec 25, 2016 7:00 pm

Petakash wrote:Richard, I want a masters

...I want to fund others who are in the same situation and help them achieve their dreams.

But thank you Richard for showing me humanity at its realest. It has been a true eye opener


Petakash, how does you getting a masters have anything to do with helping others in the same situation achieve their dreams? Explain it to me. I have money to give you! I work for myself. I have a good education, I traveled to 8 countries this year. I have extra cash that I can use to give to a worthy cause. But, out of all the ways I could use my discretionary money that I worked hard to earn, why choose you?

You want me to visit your gofundme page? Really? I'm the friggin one with the money! You bring the information to me! You work for it, don't just tell me all sorts of excuses about how non-profits are difficult and people don't want to give and this problem or that problem. If you can't solve the simple problems, like getting enough to buy a plane ticket, how on earth will you convince me that you have the talent to help others in a similar situation?

I do hope this is an eye opening experience about humanity Pakatesh. You seem to think the money people work so hard to earn should just be given to you, just because like every single person in this world you have a dream. Get in line! I have dreams too. Why not give me some money for my dreams Petakash?

You can achieve your dream if you want Petakash, but currently you are going about it the wrong way and for the wrong reasons.
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#27

Postby Petakash » Sun Dec 25, 2016 9:14 pm

Roady,
I want to prove to myself that I did it on my terms, not on the terms of my mother. I want to prove to myself that I am not what she think I am. I know who I am, I know what I want, and I am working on myself, my self esteem. I am working on being a better person. I am not proving anything to my mother but to me. All that was said about me a lie. I am just discovering myself and believe me, it is a lot of growing up that I have to do. It has taken me 35 years to really find my true value. All I thought along was my real value, but it wasn't, now being on a path of self discovery and growing up, its a hard thing to process. I was often told that persons have more faith in me than I do in myself. Because why, I don't know. I guess my mother had a hand in that

Yes sometimes the advice did ruffle my feathers and I had regressed back into the role of having to defend everything I do. Its a habit that I grew up with of having to defend me against persons. Most if not all times, as being a barrel. But it was the only way I could protect me from those who were out there picking on me and making fun of me. Sometimes I do take my time to respond to what is said. But like I said its a tough lesson to learn.

Richard
I don't believe that someone should part with hard earned money to help or fund a cause that they don't know how the return on investment (ROI) will benefit them. In my country, some of the positions that are advertised in both the private sector and government sector, you have to have a Masters in order to fulfill the basic qualifications requirements that comes with the job. If you do not have that qualification, then you will not be considered. A masters would help to open the doors for upward mobility within the job. For persons it can be frustrating in wanting to move up within the organization, a masters or an undergraduate degree will be of great assistance to help that person. A masters will help me to increase my earning potential, so I can put aside a bit of cash to give a person a half scholarship to help with their tuition. I know that the cost of attaining a masters or an undergraduate degree in my country is a feat that most persons wish that they can afford. I do wish that I can help someone who wish to go university even if it is with a stipend to help cover some of their basic expenses or even bus fare to get to school. Especially those who are commuting students. It can be a stretch to be living far from home, worrying about lunch money, bus fare to get to school and to get their assignments printed.

I am working on solving the problem of purchasing my plane ticket, however, as I said, most of the jobs that I find online are only geared towards persons who are in the united states and Canada, or you have to have a US credit card to purchase the service. I have been looking at other avenues of raising funds, such as fiverr and freelancer to get work online, however, I have been batting zero. I just want that one chance to really fulfill a promise that I made to myself of attaining my masters.

Like I said, thank you Richard for the hard truth. Maybe I needed that to open my eyes.
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#28

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:57 am

Petakash wrote:...I only applied to do my masters at the local university just to get my mother off my back....

...In my country, some of the positions that are advertised in both the private sector and government sector, you have to have a Masters in order to fulfill the basic qualifications requirements that comes with the job. A masters would help to open the doors for upward mobility within the job. For persons it can be frustrating in wanting to move up within the organization, a masters or an undergraduate degree will be of great assistance to help that person. A masters will help me to increase my earning potential, so I can put aside a bit of cash to give a person a half scholarship to help with their tuition.

I am working on solving the problem of purchasing my plane ticket

...I just want that one chance to really fulfill a promise that I made to myself of attaining my masters.

Like I said, thank you Richard for the hard truth. Maybe I needed that to open my eyes.


No problem Petakash. I don't see it so much as a hard truth, rather I see my opinion as offering you how other people actually see your problem. You see your problem one way. That is understandable. You are inside your problem looking out on the world. I am outside of your problem looking in as a potential investor. I'm looking at your problem as a person holding a bunch of cash and asking myself, why invest? Why help this person, why give them money over all the other people in that need money?

So, I ask you your plan. I ask you why you need the money and the above is what you give me. You say, "I just want that one chance...of attaining my masters."

So if that is your dream, go to the local university I say. What? Wait...you want a plane ticket? So are you bullshitting me? You need a masters to get a promotion, the local university offers a masters. What are you not telling me Petakash? That is my thought as an investor, that is my thought as a person with cash looking across people as to where I should commit my money.

Then you tell me your dream is to help others in your situation. How will you help them I ask? Your plan is to get your masters, get a promotion and then save a little bit from each paycheck to give them bus fare! That is your plan? How generous of you, what a noble dream!

You don't see why I might struggle with giving you money for a plane ticket? Let's say I give you $2,000. You could use that towards actually getting your masters, but no...you want to use it on a plane ticket. Then I have to trust you will find funds to get your masters, that you will graduate, that you will get a promotion and that maybe 4 or 5 years from now when you are 40 years old my $2,000 ends up with you generously providing a few bus fares or school supplies to other potential students out of whatever savings you decide to put aside.

I'm not saying your heart is not in the right place Petakash. I truly believe that you honestly see what you are doing as a great investment. You truly believe if someone would just provide you the plane ticket and give you the shot that you would get that masters abroad, get that promotion and one day by god you would pay it forward! It is your dream after all. From your view it is frustrating I'm sure. From my view, I see thousands of people all wanting help, all with dreams and ideas. The problem is that the cash I have to give is not limitless. Like anyone else with cash to spare, we have to make a choice between those thousands of people. The way we decide is by looking at their plan and how they intend to use the money. Currently, your plan is not very good IMO and I think most people would agree with me.

The new year is coming up Petakash. It is time to reflect and set your goals. I recommend you take down your gofundme for now and revise your strategy. You need to think about why you want to go abroad and develop a better strategy that focuses more on what you plan to do to help others with your masters. Getting a promotion so you can put aside some savings for others is not a good plan.

Do you no what a needs assessment is Petakash? You are all over the map with fiverr and freelance work. What is your skill set Petakash? What is your bachelors in, how do you make money, where is the value you provide? Look at and build on your strengths. If you list what skills you currently have, maybe people in the forum can help give you some ideas. In what do you want to obtain a masters? That too might allow people to offer up some suggestions.
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#29

Postby Roady » Mon Dec 26, 2016 10:10 am

Petakash wrote:Roady,
I want to prove to myself that I did it on my terms, not on the terms of my mother. I want to prove to myself that I am not what she think I am.


Your mother is still strongly involved in you making your decisions. As I can read.

I know who I am,

I wonder if that is true. I just wonder.

I know what I want, and I am working on myself, my self esteem. I am working on being a better person. I am not proving anything to my mother but to me.

Proving to yourself.... and that really has nothing to do any longer with prove yourself to your mother?

I am glad to read you start working on this important issue to find a way to let your mother free.
But I wonder if you has got my point. That what I was trying to say to you in this topic.

I just wonder.
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