As I can read, you have learned a very important lesson.
It doesn't matter at all how "successful" you are in career, how much hours a week you work and how much
promotions you've got.
It doesn't matter at all how great your body shape is
It doesn't matter at all how much money you have in stock
If all those things are just a try to push down your pain, or a try to prove yourself to ....(your former school kids?)
You have put your ladder to the wall and climbed to the top.
Now you are at the top, you see that you've climbed the wrong wall......
Actually..... you discovered that there is not such thing as "climbing".
Climbing means actually: pushing down your inner feelings and grow to your own benefit, but at the expense of others.
You definitely have to use your brain now, and start to be honest, very honest to yourself.
How do you feel? Start sharing the answer on that question to others.
You have to leave the "mister perfect" version of yourself and find the "true" version of yourself.
People don't like perfect people
People normally like just normal, humble and vulnerable people.
What you have to do, is to go back to your youth-years and clean up the mess.
That means: you have to talk to somebody about the pain, the rejection,the abandonment, all the s##t you have gone through. If you face that pain and go through it, you will start growing the right way.
and by the grace of god just barely passed high school.
I am glad to see that you know the grace of God.
Maybe it can help you, or makes sense in your current situation?