you were always in my way

Postby Mystic323 » Mon Jan 02, 2017 2:53 am

You know the song, "you were always on my mind"? My wifes song (about me) must be "you were always in my way"

The old lady was exceptionally bitchy to me today. Always "huffin" when I did anything.

She finishes my sentences, she points to where she wants to go, in other words, I'm going there, move.

I suggest a better way of gettin audio for the tv, shes like "tsx" I dont know how to print it. you know that thing women do when they are pissed.

I just wanted to stay clear of her today so I went for a nap to be out of her sight.

Later this eve, for some reason our dog is acting up. panting a lot, squeaking, you know how they do that? Shes cowering around, head down, pacing, panting. I thought she wanted to be with the old lady, so I let her upstairs because she loves that dog. Well that didn't go over well either. She came down at me, "you had a nap" I could have been asleep but you put the dog on me so YOU can have some peace and quiet?

Then she hits me with the water noise this am. I got up before her. Our son had a party, some boys slept over for new years. THey made a mess of teh kitchen, pots, plates, noodles, stuff they spilled all over the counters. I thought my wife would be pissed if she got up to see this so I cleaned everything spic and span before she got up.

What do I get tonight? Whats with all the water? "Tshhhhhh" (she imitates the faucets running)

So we're officially fighting again.

My whole family has been displaced last year. Our daughter ran off at 19, no job, no money, no income. My son hides in his room most of the time unless he wants me to buy him something. You can see how my wife is.

On top of this my two sisters and brother have becauselly taken their own side. My one sister called my wife a bully for which she will not apologise.

So now we dont go to birthdays or Christmas but since our daughter is moved out, my sister stays in contact with her, buying her things. Of course this makes my wife feel undermined.

"She gets to be the angel the swoops in and fixes everything by throwing money at it and I get to be the bitch"

My sisters and brother have no kids of their own.

Everyone is in their own bubble and completely unreachable.

So thats our dysfunctional family in a nutshell. Happy new year to you too.
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#1

Postby SuzieO » Mon Jan 02, 2017 3:24 am

Hi
Thanks for sharing - it was brave to write all that down. I think Christmas and the holidays have such unrealistic expectations around them that everyone is always on edge. I know I am always glad when its all over and done with for another year. In our house we have started to focus on two main requirements that seems to help us get through the holidays

1. If you want something ask for it, don't assume anything
2.Practice gratitude whenever you find frustrated. For example, I deliberately write all the good things about my family and what I value about them. I make a point of getting to at least 5 good points for the extended family (ie my mother, father etc) and try to find 10 points about my immediate family (my children and husband). It always puts me in the right energy levels to connect with everyone. I also try to action my gratitude whenever I can by thanking everyone for the effort they have put in. While it takes a bit of effort I find it helps to defuse situations that could be volatile.
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#2

Postby calvinTO » Mon Jan 02, 2017 3:54 am

I agree with Susie O: the year-end holidays magnify everything. Sorry to hear things are tense.

It's always an indication that there are larger issues at stake when people focus on particulars. You seem to be having a rough time, from what you say. But tell us: what's really going on? Have you and your wife been on the outs recently? If so, why might that be? You seem to be winning (so to speak) on *specific* points -- but where does all this fit in to the larger picture? Your daughter has left home, and a child leaving home is always an emotional thing (regardless of whether or not she has a job). You son, hiding in his room, sounds like a regular teen. Will he be leaving home soon as well? Your relatives are butting in, in passive/aggressive ways.

I'll go out on a limb here: Is your wife feeling besieged (daughter gone, son morose, in-laws aggressive)? Can you have a heart-to-heart with her about the larger issues, whatever they may be? Focusing on the small things won't get either of you anywhere, as that becomes a game of "I'm right and you're wrong." Be bigger than the situation and send her an olive branch. Start off the new year with a different approach. How about it?

Cal
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#3

Postby Mystic323 » Mon Jan 02, 2017 4:55 am

thank you both for your quick replies. "has it been going on for some time?" you betcha.

It seems anything I do, fails. I tried an entrepreneurial type career for 26 years. Felt like I was getting somewhere but always more expenses than income, so I finally called it quits last year. I built myself some websites, offer services but no one calls and if they do, they are looking for 20.00 jobs. So essentially, Im out of work.

Ive applies for many jobs but not so much as a call back. I do have some savings but diminishing fast. Absolutely makes me sick when I have to make cheque from savings to pay forward bills.

Virtually everything I try to do seems to be blocked. I actually now anticipate my wife being mad at me. Its nothing new.

I would like to think it's something as simple as she's on her monthly thing or its menopause. At least this would give me some physical reasoning.

heck, we're down to burning sage in the house. I know that must sound weird but so many things have happened I can't just say they are all coincidence. Im beginning to believe our house it possessed. I know I know, Im reaching but I have had a plate glass door blow up in my face! The glass was "tempered" so luckily, it didn't shatter all over the place but rather the entire door splintered while staying in the frame. It was not like a gradual thing. I was just walking toward the door to let the dog out. When I got without about 5ft of the door BANG! My natural reaction was to duck. I thought someone was shooting at me. There were no holes in the glass, no point where the break would have started from. It just literally blew up in front of me. The dog ran the opposite direction and cowered under my desk. It was not a temperature thing as the temperature was moderate. It was not a pressure crack as the doors were "floating frames" that slide on rails you know? there was no pressure on the glass. ALso there were 4 layers of glass and it was the inside layer that blew up. Nothing from the outside. I got my cell phone and video taped the glass right after, you could still hear the glass cracking after the "explosion" Maybe its me alone that it possessed.

Weve lived in our house for over 15 years... we have a tree on the front lawn. Ive pruned the tree over and over. Ive cut hte grass weekly around it, watered it and flowers around it, kids have played in the tree. Its the first thing you see out of our front door. Not ONE of us in the house had noticed before but just this year, since the leaves fell, there is now a FACE in the tree! Very clear. Everyone sees it now, not like some face in the bread that you see on the internet. This is very clear but no one noticed it before, 4 of us in the house here for 15+ years. It has just formed there over last season.

Just tonight, our dog was so freaked, this is why I made the post in the first place because I tried to cal m her down and she would not calm down. I even offered her, her favorite cookie snack and she would NOT eat it. (she NEVER turned those down) Shes a big dog, 86lbs cowered like a pussy tonight, so I let her go in our room with my wife.. you know the rest from the post above.

Many things like this go on here. too many to write about.
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#4

Postby TheCloud » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:08 am

My guess is that you need to tend to your wounds. Failing at your career after 26 years is something that's really gotta knock someone on their butt. After that, coming to terms with failure, failing with dignity and getting back up, are the only ways to proceed. Sometimes, you have to get back up even while there are those kicking you while you're down.

I don't know if that's what your circumstances are, but it seems to me that right now you're sitting on your butt after getting knocked down and pretending everything is fine, when it's not. You're not fine. You're kind of messed up, and your confidence is in shambles, and you're talking about ghosts and dogs and women as if they are your excuses for being where you are. So what is it going to take for you to get your confidence, and your courage, back?
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#5

Postby Mystic323 » Tue Jan 10, 2017 2:34 am

TheCloud, you are right. Ive been beaten and my wife only stays with me for financial strength. After that's gone, we have nothing. Litterly eberythng I try to do, ends up in a block. I could write a book about a propery we have owned for 50 years. Ideally positioned in a growing community, we sold it out several times, but the town keeps rejecting development on it, where all the other properties around it have been developed. Its so bad, they actually built a major highway near us. All the other property owner around us where bought out for the road but they literally built the road around us, so that they would not have to buy our property. The pressure from the last dealings we had on it, actually killed my father. Its a story on its own. Ive sunk time, money and effort into other ventures and every one has eneded up in a block and loss of money.

As far as ghosts, weird things continue to happen. I know its hard to believe. Ife pretty much become accustomed to it. For instance just yesterday, I have a hat I always wear. I lost it for two weeks. Noone in the house knew of its whereabouts. Yesterday it turns up in the middle of the floor. We were all home, we had all walked that floor over and over. It just materializes right there front and center. I dont know how. I dont know what this means. I want to believe it's my father watching out for me but who knows?

I can't believe my sisters would not extend an apology to my wife. When I question the other sister who did not call my wife names, or my brother, they skirt the issue! Their silence tells me they side with my sister, who called my wife names. I have asked them point blank in emails no reply. My wife never did anything to them yet they feel completely justified.

Worst, my body is not holding out either. ive been trying to fix my back problems but when I think Im making progress, it goes back to pain again.
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#6

Postby TheCloud » Tue Jan 10, 2017 5:43 am

All valid complaints, but I have a feeling that you've said this all before. What would be interesting to hear is what you are going to do about it. You say that your wife stays with you just for your money, but I'm not sure I believe that. I wonder if she doesn't remember something of the man you were, the man you gave up on being at some point.

Maybe she's not nice because she's afraid of losing you, or afraid that she's lost you already. Some people just don't know how to communicate their feelings. Maybe instead of singing "you were always in my way," she's been singing, "I always wanted you to help me." Maybe she's always wanted it to be you, and no one else.

All that stuff about your wife is just me guessing, but this I know; you have to get back your vitality somehow. You're still a strong man with plenty of energy, I can see it in your writing. Nobody who was about to kick the bucket would be able to complain like you do. So when did you lose your youthful vitality, and how are you going to get it back? That story, I would like to hear.
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#7

Postby Mystic323 » Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:24 am

The Cloud

I feel wronged, let down by people and the system. I thought I could trust the law but apparently that has no bearing either. In one case, I had writen contracts by two parties that agreeed to pay me for a service rendered. I did my job but the decied not to pay me now that the work was done. I thought the case was a slam dunk. Took it to the lawyer. He told me it would cost more to get it though the court system than what I was owed (about $55,000) and he said, even if I win, theres still the issue of collections. Many epople win in court but never collect, which would leave me out double right? what I lost, plus what it would cost to lose. So, on the lawyers advice, I went to small claims court without a lawyer, which in my area only went to 25,000.00 so already, win or lose, the defendant already won a 25000+ winfall.

I get my day in court, unrepresented. They had a lawyer but they told the coury thier lawyer could not make it that day. The jusde told me we could proceed but even if I won, they had the right to come back, with their lawyer so it made no sense.

Next time they showed up with a layer and the SC judge was a TEMP! Not even a "real judge" I think they set it up like this so that they would get this judge.

I cross eaxmined them. "is that your signature?" yes. Is taht your signature? Yes, they both agreed. I thought I had won the case but the judge simpley closed his breaifcase and LEFT the room! I asked the attendant "what just happened??" she said he voted for the defendant and that I would get something in the mail as to his decicion.

My jaw dropped. What justice was this? I had based my entire career on contracts up till that point adn I was just told by a "judge" that bascially my work is woth NOTHING! A signagure is worth NOTHING!

This left me the option of only apeal to a higher court but rememebering what my lawyer said, I knew I could not afford that. Instead, I went to the defendants, shook both their hands and their lawyers hand, congratulating them on their win. I went to shake the hand of the wife of one of the defendants and she would not shake my hand.

In her mind, I was the a**hole. I did my job to the "T" and they did not even contest that.

As a grown man, I came home and could do nothing but cry. No justice. My work was worthless. Id been living a lie for 26 years. Thats what the court told me.

In my testimanoy, I told the judge that my whole carrer was based on the strenght of a contract, "conteract law". I told him I have two kids at home that rely on my income and on this reality.

Even after this and many other bad experiences, I kept trying but the universe kept telling me no. So many times I naver got paid and did not take it to court, kept pressing forward, trying to forget. So many people took advantage of me.

Another case, a guy owed me 2000.00. He asked if he could pay it in two payments, 30 days apart. I agreed and he wrote me two cheques, one dated on the day the other dated 30 days from them. The first cheque bounced. I went to the POLICE! Said this is fraud! You know what the cops told me? "its not fraud becuase you agreed to a payment plan. So now hes just behind on his payments, NOT FRAUD! Which would have meant another court case. Walked from that too.

Heres another, while Im on a roll.. I bought a commercial building in a downtown area. beautiful, boutique like building recently built, lots of character, high ceilings, 5 commercial tenants, all on proper leases. What happens? A SOUP KITCHEN (feed the needy) moves into a basement of the building next door to me. By 2pm EVERY DAY a line up would form to get into the kitchen that reached out in front of my building. Anyone wanting to enter ANY of my tenants units would have to BREAK the line to get into our building. One by one, my tenants left. Some broke leases, leaving me with the option to chase them, others expired thier leases and did not renew, leaving me with a VACANT builfing for me to pay the taxes on myself. I couldent lease the building to anyone ebcuase everyone knew the problems now and noone would buy it of course either. BUT WAIT! it gets WORST!

Some of the soup kitchen patrons did not need the service. They would park their 50,000.00 1/2 ton trucks round the corner to go in for a free meal. Others needed the service buy many were drug users so what would happen was they would eat, then come over to my parking lot to throw up. They hurled on my parking lot and pissed on it too. Every Morning, I would have to get to my building before any of my clients would show up and wash down my parking lot so people would not see the puke.

So I volenteered my time on the town's downtown "action committee" everytime I rbough up the issue, it was "tabled" for more pressing issues like what plants to plant this year on the sidewalk or what weekend the Santa Claus Parade should be. No one wanted to talk about the soup kitchen.

Eventually the media got a hold of the story and I made the papers EVERY DAY for about a year. "Local businessman wants soup kitchen out of town". One councilor wrote to the newspaper and said that "my story appalled her and how could I be so selfish, only thinking of myself" Wonder how that would have went over had the soup kitchen parked next door to HER business-- OR HOUSE!?

I went to the mayor. told him I bought the building on a commercial pretense. Expecting to be in a comercial area. The soup kitchen is not a retail comercial use and does not need to be on our main street. He says, "what do you want me to do?" I said enforce the zoning and boot them out. "oh he says, I couldn't do that, that would be bad for votes!" (exact words) I said, they are in a basement feeding some 500 people a day. Its a fire hazard. No "restaurant" is permitted in basement in our city. Stil nothing. THey pay nothing. They are tax exempt, they pay their people nothing, all volunteers (except for the executive board of directors that do nothing, they gat paid) and all their food is donated so they bring nothing to the city, whereas I was stuck paying $50,000.00 taxes for a VACANT building.

BUT WAIT! It gets worst! IN oded to plug us some of hte vacancies, I deiceied to put a cafe in one of the units. I thought it would cost 50k, ended up costing 150k and turrned into a night spot for drug dealers. One guy got stabbed there one day. So I sold the cafe to a woman, me hoding financing. She would pay me out of revenues from the cafe.

Instead, she pocketed revenues from the cafe, SOLD stuff of mine that I had LIENS on, irreplaceable memorabilia, nostalgic cake coolers, all GONE! THEN she sicks her LAWYER on me, saying "its too hot in the cafe and the AC is not sufficient, causing a loss in customers for my client and there is mental anguish and this was the only income my client had and blah blah blah.." Now, the AC got nothing to do with me. It was fine when I owned the cafe. Nobody complained. If the lady wanted 10 dishwashers to wash dishes fasted, got nothing to do with me but again, as we learned, AVOID COURT right? SO I took the money she gave me as deposit, 15,000 and bought a HUGE AC unit on the roof, it was a 7 ton ac, 3 times the size of the original one. They had to lift it on the roof with a crane. It was the size of a Toyota!

Within a week, I got letter and the keys, "sorry it didn't work out" so I was left with nothing. No cafe, no deposit from her.

This went on for 7 years. Finally, I found another non profit to buy my building at a $500,000 loss just to stop the bleeding.

To this day, that non profit pays NOTHING in way of taxes, so theres another building for that city that would have been bringing, at this point probably 100k a year in taxes, brings NOTHING! AND that area will ALWAYS be "bronks".

thats just a few that stand out in my head. I could literally write a book but Im afraid it would be so depressing, it might make someone go over the edge reading it.

There is no justice, there is no fairness. People live in their bubble. As long as everything is ok in their bubble, they wouldn't give a second thought to anyone or anything else.

Want to talk about animals? Who was the lawyer for cows and pigs? Horses get treated like royalty while cows and pigs and chickens get "harvested" and it's completely unnecessary. Does anyone see this? hardley.

Want to talk about religion?
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#8

Postby TheCloud » Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:11 am

That's a harsh story. It's easy to see why you're in the state that you're in. You've been lied to, cheated, robbed, and dismissed. I can't say anything to make it better. I am glad to hear your story, though. It is good to hear a story about someone who tried so hard, was thoughtful, and had good intentions.

You are right about justice and fairness. Sometimes, there is no such thing. There are people in the world who understand this better than you or I. Even so, they keep living, as you and I keep living. Sometimes, only the small things are left. A hot cup of coffee, or a blue sky.

In the face of all that has happened to you, it's easy to conclude that such things don't matter. What's a cup of coffee, when there is violence and injustice in the world, and all you've ever worked for is come to naught? But I think the most powerful human force in the world is gratitude. Gratitude is something a person can hold onto even in the face of tragedy, and with it, life remains worth living. It cannot be taken, even by force, and even in the face of disaster it retains its power.

You have been denied justice. You have been dealt with unfairly. But if you are going to say that you have nothing left, that you have only unfairness and injustice left to experience, then I'm not sure what can be done to help you. Some people lose homes. Some people lose children. Some people never had anything even to start with. The world does not run on justice or fairness. There are times when people will have to do without these things. But when you go without gratitude, you lose much more than that. You lose every cup of coffee, and every blue sky, and every smile and good deed done.

Gratitude is the opposite of guilt. Guilt ruins what is good, and tears down what is necessary. A person who is suffering injustice might demand that others feel guilty, but no one can survive on the guilt of others. There is no nourishment in it, only poison.

I say this for your sake, not because you don't need justice, but because you cannot make it without gratitude. What you are experiencing now will continue without end if you cannot let go of your wrath and find a peaceful place inside yourself. Justice and fairness are worthy goals, but they are only guidelines. Gratitude is necessary, and guilt is toxic. With that, I think you can find meaning even in a life much smaller than the one you would otherwise have chosen to lead. With that, I think you can find something that has not and cannot be taken away from you.
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#9

Postby Mystic323 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 2:03 am

thank you The Cloud.

I am forever grateful for coffee. I have couple of cups a day. Don't drink, maybe the odd beer, don't do drugs. I don't eat animals for past 17 years because I know about injustice. I quit religion because I realised as much as I believed in one religion, there are 4500 other recognized religions in the world and all their practitioners believe in their religious as much as the next guy. They are nearly stories made up by man and basically anything made up my man, you can bet your bottom dollar, it's baseless. This world is based on one thing. The dollar bill. If God is all powerful, all knowing entity, then why do we need churches to talk to him or her? No. The ONLY reason churches exist is because of the dollar bill. Coffee is really my only vice (if you can call it a vice).

When I used to go to church, a woman asked me "why dont you stay for lunch? you always take off after service." She went on to tell me what they had for lunch... "We have pork and sausage and steak and chicken and ... she went on to mention so many meats.. I cut her off and said, "I dont eat meat" She looked at me like I had two heads and said "oh? Well we also have fish"... I just smiled and left.

Here is a supposedly educated woman, a church goer.. what does she think? Fish grow on trees? Does she not know a fish is an animal? Fish dont have vocal cords so they cannot scream out when they are dragged by the gills or by the cheek and pulled from their environment. A fish out of water is like a human being submerged in water.

According to victims of Guantanamo bay waterboarding, the experience is not favorable. People are all in their own bubbles. Its all about them. Very few think beyond their own life. Poeple (most people) feel "entitled" My this and MY that. Its not your meat. Its not your chicken, its not your bacon. These are other life forms here on the same earth we are. They want to live as much as we do. They didn't even want to be born. WE forced them to be born. WE harvest them based on the dollar bill.

We know its not physically necessary for man to be eating animals. If it were, then all the vegans and even vegetarians would be dead by now but this is clearly not the case. No, the only reason were are still eating them is because thats how most were programed and they feel entitled.

I absolutely CRINGE when I hear some so called church goer say, "Blessed be this food we are about to receive from thy bounty amen" - really? "we received from thy bounty?" like the animals willingly commit suicide in order to please man? No! This is TAKEN, not received, NOT given. Its all BS!

People cherry pick the bible, using only the parts that suit them. The stories of this book were written to satisfy the writers (which none of them were women btw). They will use the lines that suit themselves to justify their actions.

I've lost faith in the justice system. I lost faith in religion. I lost faith in my family. People I once believed were open minded, reasonable and logical. Guess I was wrong. I lost faith in humanity since most people I find are like this, predictable.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant.
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#10

Postby TheCloud » Thu Jan 12, 2017 8:20 am

Mystic323 wrote:I've lost faith in the justice system. I lost faith in religion. I lost faith in my family. People I once believed were open minded, reasonable and logical. Guess I was wrong. I lost faith in humanity since most people I find are like this, predictable.


The things you ask of people are admirable, but they are not sustenance. Justice, religion, family, reason, and logic can fail. It is possible to find yourself in a situation where these traits are not evident, and yet you must continue to survive. So what will sustain a person, when justice, religion, and all the rest have failed them? I believe it is gratitude.

When you are in a dire situation, you can turn two ways. One of those ways is guilt. You can thrust it upon others, or you can impose it upon yourself. You can rage against yourself, or the world, for all that has failed you. For this, you will not be rewarded. You will loath yourself and the company of creatures like yourself. You will find no solace, no peace. You will not be sustained.

Or you can turn toward gratitude. This is what can sustain you through hardship. You must allow the hardships of the world to happen, for they are already happening. People are being lied to, cheated, stolen from, raped, and murdered. Sometimes the person is you. You cannot stop this with guilt. Your rage is impotent, and with it, the best you can hope to say is, "I raged against it, so I tried." But you did not succeed. The hardships continue.

The only thing I believe can sustain one through these hardships, and heal their wounds when they come to pass, is gratitude for things small and great. Often, the small before the great. The animals will still die, even if you rage. You will at times, perhaps often times, be denied justice. You will be subject to the unreasonable, the immoral, and the indefensible.

And understandably, you want to take responsibility. It's not your fault that "taking responsibility" has been made synonymous with "guilt." So you've filled yourself to bursting with guilt, in the effort to do what is right. I cannot suggest that you stop trying to do what is right. I only wish for you to be aware that doing what is right can be synonymous with peace and satisfaction instead. You don't have to tear the world and yourself apart to be a good and responsible person. You can mend it instead, if your tool of choice becomes gratitude rather than guilt.

What I'm saying is, you can put down the sword. There are other ways to win at this contest. Guilt is violence, and you're tired of the violence. I understand that. Take up your gear as a medic instead. Be gracious, and heal. You deserve it as much as anyone.
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#11

Postby Mystic323 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 1:08 pm

thank you TheCloud. The picture you paint is helpful.

I find, if you say or do nothing against wrong, thats wrong. Its not helpful. In fact the absence or saying nothing is is by default, agreement with what it is you are defending.

Saying and doing things also is problematic, as we can see here. If nobody told me about the animals, I would still believe that they were necessary to be bred and harvested like corn. I would still believe they are nothing and feel no pain and it is our "God given right" to eat them.

Thank "GOD" someone told me different. Its like we're living in the twilight zone where everyone goes about their merry way believing everything is perfect and they are justified and there are no problems.

Then there are what I call "Stage II" people who know its wrong but do nothing. See tehre are many great ideas in the world. Many brilliant people, but without ACTION attached to those "ideas".. the ideas mean NOTHING. THe person might as well be dead. Even the action of telling someone else, may be helpful buecase at some point, others may begin to connect the dots.

Funny you should mention about the sword because I have one and just yesterday I was polishing it.
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#12

Postby Mystic323 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 5:04 pm

Yesterday was exceptionally hard. Our dog got into something we are not sure what but she was wobbling around.
The only thing I can think of is that she got into our kid's stash. As mentioned before I don't drink I don't do drugs I don't like them I don't permit them in our house but I know our kids do it and there's not much I can do about it.

So happened that one of my kids was off school, so we both took the dog to the vet. The vet confirmed that the dog must have ingested some type of chemical such as marijuana. The test was not conclusive however because they would have needed to get a urine sample but based on what the vet knew this was the case. Having being cornered by this evidence my son confessed that this is probably what she got into.

Ironically only days before this I mentioned to my wife that our internet bill was through the roof because of excessive use over and above our cap limit. She got mad and confronted her son who uses the internet a lot.

I went with her and backed her up although my wife was drunk and went on and on. So I finally stepped in and said it's okay we made our point. It's enough. So apparently this was very bad for my wife because she feels that I was defending our son. In fact that was not defending our son who was there bringing up the point that the internet was overused, but unlike her I was not drunk and didn't carry on about it after the point was made.

Come time for bed, my wife was in bed before me as usual and as usual, she had been drinking since she got home from work. She started laying into me about accusing our son of drugging the dog although the evidence was not conclusive. My wife went on and on and on about this and I said fine it wasn't him! She must have got into something in the backyard that made her like that ( which there was nothing).

Then the discussion turned the way it always turns, " I work for a living I work hard everyday.. What have you done?" well in fact so far I have paid off the house, pay the taxes pay the utilities, pay for cars, do part of the shopping, pay for kids. At one time I did make a lot of money. In fact for 26 years I managed to do all this but right now now not so much, and this is what she focuses on.

Then she hits me with there are a lot of other people out there that would ask me out if I wasn't married. I'm like fine go with them!

She grits her teeth, she gets in my face like she's about to hit me, she's so mad all the time! And yet I noticed this mostly when she is drunk. At first I put it down to her monthly cycle. Then I put it down to simply a woman's change of life, maybe that combined with drinking.

Ironically just this day I gave my son a lecture about drugs in the car coming back from the vet. Told him I've never seen anything good coming out of drugs or alcohol. I've never seen any problems fixed by this. And myself I have never seen any reason to turn to them as a crutch for anything.

My wife In the heat of the moment admitted that she drinks to forget. She drinks because she "doesn't want to be here".

And how was your night?
Mystic323
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#13

Postby TheCloud » Mon Jan 16, 2017 11:55 pm

I have been taking my time to think about your response. You haven't specifically said so up till now , but I think you could use help, and I think you're asking for it by being here. I think you're looking for a spark, something to help you take the next step. But I'd like to know for sure, before I say more. Are you here for help, if it's offered? Are you willing to consider the suggestions of others?
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#14

Postby Mystic323 » Tue Jan 17, 2017 4:06 am

well of course I want to hear opinion of others. this is why I ask here, on an open forum.
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