Libido gone

Postby Lookingforafix » Tue Jan 10, 2017 11:23 pm

Hello,

I've been smoking for about 8 years daily. I've quit once for 6 months...and the fell back into old habits due to a lack of libido

My sex drive seems to only exist when I'm high....

I'm currently 45 days sober. And having no libido and if I do have sex...it's over very quick..it's a bummer

I'm wondering if this will pass and when...because I want a normal sex life and if the only way I can have one at this point is by smoking...the. I guess I will smoke


Thanks
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#1

Postby Blazedout420 » Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:04 am

Hey dude I've had/have the problem I'm around 7-8 months clean. I think it's all down to the anxiety just recently as mine has reduced I've noticed myself becoming more interested in sex again but not to where I was beforehand. For me I think the problem came because when I was high I would have sex or watch porn when the anxiety from smoking hit me it was sort of my way of dealing with it. When I stopped smoking I was bombarded with intrusive sexual thoughts which in turn made me think I was some sort of sexual deviant which decimated my libido. When it came to having sex with my girlfriend I would be sorry worried that I was doing something wrong or that I was going to lose my errection it totally took me out of the moment and ruined everything which just increased my anxiety. Like most things this is getting better with time so hang on in there and try not to over think it. It'll come back when you've re adjusted, For me it was like a mental block towards it along with other things where my body would respond but my mind just wouldn't or couldn't. You'll be ok man.
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#2

Postby Lookingforafix » Wed Jan 11, 2017 12:34 pm

Thank you for the response!

It's reassuring that with time things will improve.

Thasks for posting your experiences. It means a lot!

Yeah anxiety is a real bummer. It causes so many issues. I guess I'll wait a year sober and see what's up.

Ive been thinking of trying talk therapy or CBT.

Best of luck to you!
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#3

Postby Blazedout420 » Wed Jan 11, 2017 1:04 pm

Hey again, I went to my doctor and got referred to a therapist, after an initial sort of assessment where I mentioned I thought that quitting the weed was the cause of my psychological issues they didn't really seem to believe that was the case, they checked with a pdoc who knew more about drug use and he also said it couldn't possibly be the weed and refered me for some talk therapy. It took months to finally see someone by which time the anxiety had probably halved on its own and I didn't really see the point of the talking therapy but I went ahead because I had nothing to lose. It didn't really teach me anything I didn't already know so it didn't help me much and after a couple of sessions I decided that the therapists time would be better used on someone else. My problem with therapists is how can somebody who has never experienced what you are going through tell you how to deal with it because it's what they have been taught from a book and told to do? It come across as rather scripted. I found greater reassurance and help from reading first hand experiences of others on here because it felt like reading my own story. If you feel like you would benefit from speaking to someone about it do it, but for me it didn't really help that much. The greatest healer is time and living a healthy life style. You'll find one day you just stop thinking about whatever the is causing you the anxiety without really knowing about it, that's when I realised I was on my way to recovery. I still get anxiety now and again when something reminds me of it but it's much much less intense and goes away just as fast as it comes. Hope that helped you.

Peace.
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#4

Postby Lookingforafix » Wed Jan 11, 2017 3:32 pm

Thanks man! It was reassuring! Time and patience and healthy living I guess.

I guess I can't dwell on the fact I'm missing out on things because I'm currently recovering. Getting back to normal without weed is a challenge because you know the easy way out is just to smoke again and things will be temporarily fine..

It's the uncertainty of how long recovery will take that causes anxiety and if I'll ever have my normal sex life back is what's scary.

I guess I need to think in terms that I had some real good times while indulging and now I'm paying for the good times.

I believe you are right and everything will balance out. It's just about being patient and not dwelling on missed opportunities and not to have short term thinking but think long term
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