Unlickylady12 wrote:...actions speak louder than words.... I can't find the will power to be alone. ..I can't take it no more
Apparently you can take it, because you are still with him. Staying with him is an action, and as you say actions speak louder than words. And by the way, you are alone. Just because a person is sleeping in the same bed as you doesn't mean you are with them or that you are not alone. His body might be there, but his mind is focused on others. He doesn't have to think about you or be with you, because he can cheat on you, disrespect you, and you willingly stay. That is your action that speaks loudly, staying.
Anyway, you have low self-esteem issues you need to work on. One of the best things you can do is build your confidence in being alone. If you can't outright leave, then take small steps to spend more and more time alone. Spend a day without him and you will realize the world is still spinning. Spend a week apart and once again you will realize you are fine, the world is spinning, you are breathing, and it is no big deal. Get yourself focused on activities and things other than this man. Join some clubs, volunteer, set some goals that keep your mind focused on you and your own growth.