My boyfriend stares at every women going

Postby Unlickylady12 » Sat Jan 14, 2017 7:31 pm

Hi firstly my boyfriend of 7 years has cheated on me a number of times, he has tried it on with my best friend brother girlfriend and that's in front of me. He's 28 now and he had been sleeping with a 56 year old women for years behind my back. He cheated on me with his friends girlfriend and this is just what I no, I no there is many more. Any way I have forgave him and I'm trying to forget. But I can't because he makes me feel so ugly. I no I'm not ugly because there is a lot of men who want to date me but I'm faithful and won't go there.i hate going out with him because he just sits and stares at other women. They could be any age or any size. He doesn't do it slyly he just blatantly does it. I don't even think he realises. I have told him how it makes me feel but it just doesn't stop. I don't even like going to my own mothers with him bcz of how he acts. I make my self look nice everyday I buy myself new outfits every week for the bedroom department and he' just doesn't seem interested. He says he is but actions speak louder than words. I just feel ugly and worthless. If I finish with him he begs and crys for me to take him back. So I no he wants to be we me but he just doesn't really show it. I torcher myself every single day bcz I just don't feel good enough. What are your thoughts. I feel like I want to leave him but I can't find the will power to be alone. And I can't bare him to be with someone else, I no I shouldn't be bothered if he goes with someone else bcz he does while he's with me. I'm just hurting My self I can't take it no more
Unlickylady12
New Member
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2017 7:17 pm
Likes Received: 0


#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Jan 14, 2017 7:55 pm

Unlickylady12 wrote:...actions speak louder than words.... I can't find the will power to be alone. ..I can't take it no more


Apparently you can take it, because you are still with him. Staying with him is an action, and as you say actions speak louder than words. And by the way, you are alone. Just because a person is sleeping in the same bed as you doesn't mean you are with them or that you are not alone. His body might be there, but his mind is focused on others. He doesn't have to think about you or be with you, because he can cheat on you, disrespect you, and you willingly stay. That is your action that speaks loudly, staying.

Anyway, you have low self-esteem issues you need to work on. One of the best things you can do is build your confidence in being alone. If you can't outright leave, then take small steps to spend more and more time alone. Spend a day without him and you will realize the world is still spinning. Spend a week apart and once again you will realize you are fine, the world is spinning, you are breathing, and it is no big deal. Get yourself focused on activities and things other than this man. Join some clubs, volunteer, set some goals that keep your mind focused on you and your own growth.
User avatar
Richard@DecisionSkills
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 8982
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:25 am
Likes Received: 914

#2

Postby Unlickylady12 » Sat Jan 14, 2017 8:13 pm

I thankyou for your reply. I totally agree with what you are saying. Also a reply to your last part. I'm not aloud to go out with friends or spend a day without him. I can't go to work I have to stay at home and be a house wife becz he is so paranoyed (probably scared I'm going to do what he does to me) also when I have tried to kick him out n he begs and crys and makes me feel bad if I stay adamant that I want to get rid of him he uses violence hence brakes stuff in the house and hits his self also threatens to kill him self
Unlickylady12
New Member
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Jan 14, 2017 7:17 pm
Likes Received: 0

#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Jan 14, 2017 10:15 pm

Unlickylady12 wrote: I'm not aloud to go out with friends or spend a day without him. I can't go to work I have to stay at home and be a house wife becz he is so paranoyed (probably scared I'm going to do what he does to me) also when I have tried to kick him out n he begs and crys and makes me feel bad if I stay adamant that I want to get rid of him he uses violence hence brakes stuff in the house and hits his self also threatens to kill him self


And what do your actions say?

Your acrtions speak very loud. You don't go out, you don't work, and you blame who for that? Him? No...blame yourself. You are an adult that can speak very loudly with your actions.

And if he breaks something, hurts himself or kills himself who is to blame? HE IS! He is to blame for his actions, not you and YOU are to blame for your actions of staying, not leaving, not working, etc.
User avatar
Richard@DecisionSkills
MVP
MVP
 
Posts: 8982
Joined: Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:25 am
Likes Received: 914



Return to Relationships