Is he wrong?

Postby Whyme2282 » Sun Jan 15, 2017 6:33 am

My boyfriend of 5 years is going to be running in a mud run in a few months. Usually I always go and run with him. However I cannot this year to to a sudden medical issues that won't heal in time.
So I found out that his ex wife is going to be running with him and his team. And he asked if I was going to watch. I said I wasn't sure. I found out that him and his friend were asking because then they wouldn't have to tell me she was racing too.
He knows I do not like his ex. They have no kids so I don't believe she should still be trying to talk to him let alone hang out with him. We have never got engaged or married because he now feels it is a piece of paper,but was okay marrying her.
He knows my feelings about her.
Needless to say I am pissed. Am I wrong here? I believe he should value my feelings first before agreeing to let her race with them knowing my feelings about it. I feel like he completely betrayed me for her. Thoughts?
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Postby federico91 » Sun Jan 15, 2017 9:30 pm

It's natural to feel jealous, And more when he is an ex of the couple, But neither is it necessary to exaggerate, or make a movie in the mind, The best thing is that you take it easy and you go to see it, so you will be safer, and your imagination more calm, because if you do not go, you will feel more distressed imagining that he is with his ex, and thinking that they are together

It is very common to feel jealousy, and more if there is some kind of dependency, inferiority
I think that it is best to grow one inwardly, to learn to be happy alone, without depending on anyone

That way, if you learn to be happy, you just stop needing someone else to be happy, stop depending on who else makes you happy
And if one stops needing someone to be happy, inevitably no one can make you unhappy, on the level of love relationships, because a love that comes from the outside creates a "borrowed happiness"

And everything that someone offers you from the outside, sooner or later may disappear, but what arises from your interior, love, joy, that arises from the inside does not depend on others, so it seems to me that the primordial thing is to learn to Being alone, learning to be happy in solitude, that way the relationships stop being a necessity, and become a sharing, regardless of who this, if one has a partner, well, one shares his love with that person, but If that person leaves, one does not feel jealous, because one is available to love and share with other people

Is a very idealistic idea of reality, an idea of living in a state of detachment, the Buddha said that attachment is the cause of suffering, it seems very difficult to live without attachments,I think that the ideal is to depend only on oneself for everything
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