Hello. Last year i acquainted someone who i felt was nice to talk to, yet a bit odd. We kept in touch. Now, half a year later, i've come to seriously suspect he is autistic.
I find it very hard to deal with him. On one hand he's friendly, well-mannered, cheerful, generous, and good at chit-chat. On the other hand, he:
- can talk endlessly about his work, seemingly not caring whether i listen or not.
-is emotionally cold and hard when it comes to (my) feelings. He seems to be totally indifferent to what i value and can be rude and disrespectful regarding my boundaries and emotional life.
- talks and acts from the top of his head. I feel no connection apart from exchanging words.
- does things for me but expects me to grovel and say 'thank you' more than i'm comfortable with.
-is only kind and friendly when i am (or act ) joyful, which means i act a lot and he doesn't even notice.
There are more typical things, but i'll leave it at this.
Every time i've spoken to him, i feel hurt, empty and frustrated afterwards.
He doesn't know this, and by now it starts to gnaw at my ( already low) self-esteem.
Of course i want to discuss these things with him in honesty. But i feel there is no openness to do so. I even feel he won't care if he would never see me again. In fact i'm pretty sure he won't care.
I strongly suspect this man is autistic and i'm about to give up on the friendship.
What i encounter within myself ( the lesson ) is, that i tend to get whiny over this but instead of getting weak, i should learn to become strong ( more centered and a more realistic self-esteem). This is something i've procrastinated about for a long time bc i don't know where to find the right support for that. I can't pull myself out of the pit by my own hair.
I think changing myself is the best way to deal with it.
So my question is two-fold:
- anyone has a tip on how to deal with people like the above-mentioned guy?
- where do i start finding a place to vent things that bother me, where i can get insights and encouragement to pick up the pieces and rebuild my life and myself?
Thank you in advance.