I think that it's just time to go


Postby Jamie514 » Sat Feb 04, 2017 4:53 am

I don't understand what he try to say by IV. I know you are a consultant; Can you please tell us about it? I am a student of science, have interest to study in physiologist. But now, please explain the word cv.
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Postby HikerOfTheSoul » Mon Feb 13, 2017 9:48 pm

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle, and I'm not a medical professional, so I can't diagnose you.

But let me ask you a question: what do you think depression is exactly?

Because you keep saying you are not depressed, but all the symptoms and signs you point out fit the description of depression, or at least dysthymia.

I think you should seek professional help, medical help. I've read you have been to psychologists, ever thought about trying medication?
I wanted to end my life before going on an AD, and now well, I won't say it's all fun and games cause it ain't, but I'm here, I'm standing, I'm fighting. I can feel the nice hum of being alive, like a vibration that goes through me. It's not always present but sometimes I can reach it, and it almost feels like every piece of the puzzle fits again.

I'm doing it. So can you. Don't give up on yourself.
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Postby HumanB » Thu Feb 16, 2017 12:30 am

Arsenal99 wrote:Thanks guys for all the help

I had a friend kill himself about 10 years ago, I didn't really know him that well but I saw the aftermath of his death, his friends and family were devastated, and to this day they are still not over it, I understand what it would be like foreveryone.

This is more a case where I have to look after myself, I'm in a lot of emotional pain and have been for a long time, Iv been to councilors and talked to friends and it doesn't go away, it's there over 10 years, iv done cbt and hypnosis too

It's like I said I'm really burnt out dealing with it, and iv done everything iv wanted to in life, so I'm considering it as an option

What emotional pain? Explain pls.
Done everything you've wanted in life..... but not what you've needed in life?
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Postby Arsenal99 » Fri Feb 17, 2017 12:37 am

Yeah, iv done everything iv wanted to do in life, iv driven across Oz, the entire usa, iv inter railed across Europe, iv flown a commercial airline plane, I was a firefighter for a year, iv climbed mountains and swam in oceans, iv gotten myself educated and iv been with women, yet my life still hasn't moved forward,

But none of it has ever gotten me anywhere in life, my life in my eyes Is a failure, I havnt moved forward, I notice that iv been sleeping less and less and even things like meeting my friends for beers no longer does anything for me,

I'm just seriously burnt out.
I agree with the theory, if you do what you have always done, then you will get what you always got, but iv tried everything and I still can't move forward,
I'm seriously thinking about quitting work and going homeless just to force change,

My life is like ground hog day, and I don't see it ever getting any better, so I'd rather end it on my own terms than stick this pain out for 30 more years,

Sorry guys, I'm not very good at explaining things,
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Postby HikerOfTheSoul » Fri Feb 17, 2017 11:45 am

Man, I'm sorry for the pain you are in, but I have to ask the question again: why don't you try medications?
They helped TONS of people (myself included) so get to a doctor and get a prescription.

What's preventing you from doing that? You are talking about ending it all so you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain in trying medications before.

If it's not medication try other things... maybe a hayuasca journey? But be sure to find reliable people for that. You have talked a lot about how you explored the outside world, but what about your inner world? Your conscience? The part of you that makes "you" you?

Bottom line, you got a series of thing to try before you go. You have to consciously make the decision that dying will be your last resort. That's what I did, and here is my list of things that I tried before and all the other possibilities in order.

1) waiting for time to cure it (didn't work)
2) meditation (helped but not much, still good)
3) mindfulness meditation (helped more)
4) eckhart tolle's "the power of now" (helped woth changing my view of the world a bit, it's a bit too radical in some points but the basic concept is good)
5) medication (works - it's where I am now)
6) illegal drugs (in order: weed, psylocibine, lsd microdosing, hayuasca, heroin)
7) suicide

As you see you can come up with at least 6 strategies before resorting to suicide. Go ahed and find what works for you!
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