I think that it's just time to go

Postby Arsenal99 » Tue Jan 24, 2017 8:10 pm

Well I want to start by saying that I'm not depressed or upset or mentally impaired, I have a good social life, job, and money, iv travelled the world and done everything iv wanted to do, iv worked my dream job and iv had a good life.

The problem is that I feel like iv achieved everything I need to in life, it's as good as it's gonna get, and I really don't want to live for another 30_40 years doing the same things over n over, my life never moves forward, iv educated myself, iv 2 degrees, and iv worked hard for the last 20 years and iv gone no where, all of my friends have gotten married and moved on, I feel like all I do now is waste time,

Iv watched people die and to be honest it really doesn't seem so bad, I think it's just my time now, I don't want to watch everything around me continue to change as I stand still.

Id like to go on my own terms.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed Jan 25, 2017 2:10 am

Arsenal99 wrote: The problem is that I feel like iv achieved everything I need to in life,
....iv worked hard for the last 20 years and iv gone no where,


How do you reconcile the conflict in the above? You have achieved everything you need, but gone nowhere? No, you are full of cr*p. There are still things you want to achieve. You didn't work 20 years to achieve "nowhere". There is a difference between having what you need and having what you want. You are simply rationalizing to convince yourself of your own b.s.

Id like to go on my own terms.


Who doesn't? Of course we want to go out on our own terms. Most people want to go out peacefully, in their sleep after a long, full life. Most people make their peace and get their affairs in order.

So if you are an adult with sound mind and you are ready, then have at it, but have the courtesy to do it legally. I realize that might inconvenience you a bit, but it is preferable to being a jerk about it and having other people clean up what you leave behind. There are countries that allow euthanasia. If you are serious, then take the time to do your research and go through the process. That's the least you can do.
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#2

Postby KriKri » Thu Jan 26, 2017 5:33 pm

How would you name the problem, in one word or phrase? Boredom? Lack of progress? Lack of change? Lack of goals, motivation? Lack of pleasure?
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#3

Postby Arsenal99 » Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:00 pm

Probably from the lack of change after putting in so much effort. Defo a lack of change, and now severe boredom.
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#4

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:18 pm

KriKri wrote:How would you name the problem, in one word or phrase? Boredom? Lack of progress? Lack of change? Lack of goals, motivation? Lack of pleasure?


Either fear or discomfort.

A theory of human action by Ludwig von Mises proposes that the root of all human behavior is discomfort. Given the choice between two discomforts, be pick the path of least resistance.

It gives rise to the common concept of a "comfort zone," and the need to challenge ourselves to get out of our comfort zones. It is a matter of accepting discomfort today in order to lessen our discomfort tomorrow. You go jogging today, to lose weight tomorrow. It is sacrificing short term comforts for long term gain.
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#5

Postby Arsenal99 » Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:25 pm

I dont know what that means
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#6

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Jan 26, 2017 6:37 pm

Arsenal99 wrote:I dont know what that means


I responded to KriKri as the OP. My mistake.

A lack of change after putting in so much effort, is a good sign that you kept repeating the same behaviors, but expected different results.
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#7

Postby KriKri » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:18 pm

We're hardwired by nature to continuously fall in love with life, maybe just a little bit, but over and over. Even the elderly generally detest the thought of dying (but encouraged by society to be quiet about that). Normally the fulfillment of a goal, a desire immediately leads to the emergence of a new one. Your lack of interest in life might signify a disorder at the level of brain chemistry. Something to do with the neurotransmitters, the reward mechanisms. Do you get pleasure from simple things like food, sex, movies, travel, conversation?
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#8

Postby Arsenal99 » Thu Jan 26, 2017 10:26 pm

Not really to be honest, I'm not just saying that, I'm not depressed or anything, I have a lot of friends and a good life, iv travelled the world many times, but nothing really brings me pleasure, the only thing I really enjoy is working out, the only time I feel anything is when I'm pushing my body, but things like sex or talking have never done anything for me.

It's like I said I think I'm just burnt out, I don't really wanna live for another 20_30 years,
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#9

Postby KriKri » Thu Jan 26, 2017 11:12 pm

No family and no desire to have one? What propelled you thru the decades of hard work? Expectation of a reward? Do you think you have changed lately, lost the ability to enjoy life? Could it be that you're an adrenaline junky who needs extreme things like dangerous sports to feel alive?
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#10

Postby Arsenal99 » Fri Jan 27, 2017 7:00 am

No family and I definitely don't want one, it's just not for me, you are right I Worked hard because I thought there would be a reward at the end of it, anything that could improve my life, but it never happened, I don't think I lost the ability to enjoy life, I just feel like there's nothing to enjoy about it, it's just one long painful day after day to be honest, might be onto something with the adrenaline, I do enjoy when things a fast paced, gets the blood pumping,
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#11

Postby KriKri » Sat Jan 28, 2017 2:46 am

what makes your days painful? Work? Duties? Or the sheer absence of pleasure and expectation of pleasure? You mentioned you were successful and financially secure. Are you in position to retire from your work and experiment with life? What rewards had you imagined? Material comfort? Recognition? I suppose you tried drugs at some point. Doesn't give you anything? My advice is to try to reduce those things in your life that give you that pain (change or quit work, if you have any), and experiment, try different things one after another and see what gives you pleasure. My general principle: don't destroy anything before you know how it works and what it can be used for. There are always hidden opportunities that we haven't discovered.
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#12

Postby Jamie514 » Mon Jan 30, 2017 3:49 am

I don't understand what he try to say by IV. I know you are a consultant; Can you please tell us about it? I am a student of science, have interest to study in physiologist. But now, please explain the word cv.
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#13

Postby Alex4 » Mon Jan 30, 2017 6:42 am

Even if you have achieved everything you wanted to is not a good reason to take your own life. We don't have any idea of what life will bring us or what we will do in the future.

There are people who love you, and it doesn't have to be romantic love. Having to deal with the death of anyone is difficult for those who know them. Suicide is much much worse. Survivors are filled with guilt, grief, anger and a number of other emotions. Even when someone has a serious medical problem, those emotions still surface in the face of a suicide.

Find something that you have a passion for. it doesn't have to be world changing and you don't have to be good at it. If you take your life, who knows what you will miss. Your loved ones will be filled with so much pain and no answers. Just talk to someone who has had a friend or family member who has lost someone they love to suicide. Honestly, that may be the only way to really make you realize what ending your own life will impact them.

I do have a medical problem. Constant, severe pain that my Dr. no longer knows how to help. Every day I struggle with knowing that I could end that pain if I let go of life. What keeps me here is the knowledge that my parents and friend will suffer emotional pain much greater than my physical pain. Please don't do that to your friends and parents. It will change their lives forever. And NOT in a good way.

Anyone out there who reads this and has known someone who chose to leave by way of suicide PLEASE help this member to understand what you go through on a daily basis.

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#14

Postby Arsenal99 » Mon Jan 30, 2017 7:21 am

Thanks guys for all the help

I had a friend kill himself about 10 years ago, I didn't really know him that well but I saw the aftermath of his death, his friends and family were devastated, and to this day they are still not over it, I understand what it would be like foreveryone.

This is more a case where I have to look after myself, I'm in a lot of emotional pain and have been for a long time, Iv been to councilors and talked to friends and it doesn't go away, it's there over 10 years, iv done cbt and hypnosis too

It's like I said I'm really burnt out dealing with it, and iv done everything iv wanted to in life, so I'm considering it as an option
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