Moving on with my life (quitting again!)

#60

Postby Wave » Sun Mar 18, 2018 9:26 pm

14 Months

Thanks for all the kind words, hit 14 months and no longer take anything to sleep (was using melatonin) and feel naturally sleeping again is excellent. Used to use weed to sleep but actually think it is the cause of so many of my problems and potentially other weed smokers.

Massively decreased using alcohol to a 1-2 times a month, which works so much better for me and will keep going with reducing further. Trying to keep up exercise which is hard at the moment as so shattered but still something to focus on.
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#61

Postby exstonerinhell » Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:55 pm

This thread is very inspiring to me, I'm early in my quit and struggling on and off, today I feel like I'm struggling pretty badly. Thank you for doing this and sharing it with us, I'm going to read through this and hold onto hope that I too can make it as far as you have.
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#62

Postby Bagobones » Mon Mar 19, 2018 12:44 pm

Wave wrote:Sometimes there is in my opinion a myth when you start this journey to moving on with your life after weed that stress and life trauma is a walk in the park to deal with when you are "clean". Sometimes this isn't the case and facing it head on sober is actually quite tough, almost tougher as you are practised in getting high previously. That said, I am proud that I can cope with this and not have any drug/drink controlling me.


Hi Wave! Good to see your still trucking along. That makes me very happy, and proud of you.! :) You should kill those nasty cigarettes too now... For good, if you havent already.. hehe!

I think when it comes to dealing with times when hell hits and life throws you a round kick straight in your gut, its still hard. It will always be hard. And I think very few find it easy.

The difference I find is that I actually deal with it the best I can now, AND, this is an important one, I move on and put things behind me.. Before I fled from it and did not deal with it at all or did not finish dealing with the situation. And that led to alot of unfinished crap in my mind and soul. Like I never forgave others or myself. Kept holding on to so much crap in my head.

Take me and my ex wife. We both have lost a parent pretty dramatic. When my mom died I sat outside the hospital crying and smoking joint after joint. I never quite got over that, until after i quit weed now.
My ex wife is a daddy girl.. Always was. She is still a stoner, and I so wish she could take 2 years off weed, so she finaly can get peace with losing her dad. Really get to process it with a clear head. It will among other things get her less bitter and cynical..

I am no shrink or doctor, so I cant explain it.. But for her, and knowing what i know myself, quitting weed made me come to peace with losing my mom and dealing with the last I had to deal with, to heal. 14 years after losing her.

PS. Feel i did not explain that good at all... hehehe.. well..
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#63

Postby cleanofgreen » Mon Mar 19, 2018 7:01 pm

Hey Bagobones

Great to hear from you, haven't heard from you in a while and good to know your still clean and doing so well. I know what your saying about not grieving properly when a stoner. I remember when my sister died, she was only 30 at the time, and at the funeral a good friend of mine followed me into the toilet and handed me a half oz of hash and said "I don't know if this is what you need right now but I now how much you like your smoke and a least you'll have it if your need it". Strange thing is, it probably helped a bit at the time but the problem is I kept smoking for another 15 years and never really dealt with it clean minded.

I don't think you will ever get over the death of a close friend or family member. You can only come to terms with it and think of all the good times you had together.

Hope you get the ex to quit and see the light that we now see. I still can't believe how blind I was to how much damage weed was doing to my life. Great to be on the other side now :D

Good Luck and stay strong.
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#64

Postby Bagobones » Thu Mar 22, 2018 11:33 pm

Good to see you doing so well too Clean! Yes its very good to be on the other side now.

You can only come to peace with losing someone like that, but they will always be in my heart, as they say, or a missing peace in my heart. I miss my fallen soldiers so much still...

Its spring now. Soon summer. Time to get really high. Natural high. High from biking and swimming. High from the sun and the beach. High from the smiling people. High from the parks. High from mother nature.

Here in Norway we have two personalities. Winter and summer personalities.. Summer is time for us to be smiling and outgoing, because the sun is back and never really setting...

And thank you for your wisdom and support back when my anxiety was peaking and my head was all over the place...

Onwards and upwards
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#65

Postby George from UK » Wed Apr 04, 2018 3:39 pm

Good luck with this again brother. I can completely identify with your struggle. And it sounds your your past history with weed is about the same as mine.

Keep us updated, Peace out brother!

Stay strong!

George (From the UK)
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#66

Postby Wave » Sat Apr 07, 2018 4:48 pm

Day 439 - 14.5 Months

Thanks for all the replies. Realised this is now the longest quit I have done so very happy about that. Stopped the cigs but still using nicotine replacements, will sort that before long but not there yet :S

My brain is starting to do the "wouldnt it be great if we just smoked once...." game again. I feel this time I am strong enough to realise I can't but guess that will always be something at the back of my mind.

Cut down the drinking a lot, and when I do drink I will have just a couple which means no more horrendous hangovers and also helps keep me motivated.

I speaking to a mate who is going for a tough time at the moment and shared with him a lot about my struggles with addiction and was actually really good to chat about it with someone in real life, and I feel it helped them realise that you can get yourself out of a tough patch.

George, saw you recent post and well done. I does get easier and life is way better with spend money and time of weed, 100%.
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#67

Postby reckoning » Sat Apr 07, 2018 9:56 pm

Hey Wave,

439 days is truly AWESOME. That is so fantastic. Good on you. I'm on day 99 today. I hit three figures tomorrow.

OMG it so takes our brains a long time to realise that we have moved on doesn't it? Weed is such a relationship of co-dependency isn't it? As soon as you start to move away from it - your brain will up the anti and try and pull you back. And it doesn't mind lurking around waiting for a weak moment.

My brain is like that too.

Way back in February you posted to me about taking up different hobbies being good. I've bought back stuff into my life that I enjoy and some other things too.

This time around doing this quit I am paying more attention to what I need when I am feeling good, rather than taking it for granted.

The moment I take feeling good for granted that's when my old self try's to get have one last fling with me, knowing how easily I can get hooked. She is such a lurker .

So now when I get the urge to maybe smoke again, I've decided this is actually the time I need to step outside my comfort zone and extend myself into other areas that make me feel good. Seems like your great support to your friend could suggest that stepping out further to other addicts might be an area for you to expand into? I reckon you would be great.

I'm starting to expand my repertoire rather going back and doing same old , same old, which I know will not serve me well. I'm starting to get some exciting stuff into my calendar now so I'm doing those hobbies you said were good back in Feb and I am also expanding what I do with those too. That's keeping me going so far.

Keep going, that's amazing where you are at in your quit. May that something at the back of your mind become that something great new thing you are about to embark on.

Thanks for for your 439 days -your strength is my strength.

cheers Liz
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#68

Postby Wave » Sun Apr 08, 2018 10:11 am

Thanks for the awesome reply. This forum has helped me so much and it is amazing to hear that I have in turn helped you.

Great to hear about new hobbies and enjoying the good moments. Its so easy to dwell on the tough parts and not realise that actually everyday you don't smoke/vape/ingest weed is a massive success.

Great news on 100 days, massive achievement!
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#69

Postby Wave » Sat May 19, 2018 8:23 am

Day 481 (almost 16 months) - Day 1 for nicotine

Well, last month as been truly terrible. Had to come to terms with a couple of really horrible things happening (death) around me and been really hard to deal with. That said, I didn't turn to drugs and this is probably one of the first times in my life that has happened. That said, I have not gone on well with quitting nicotine so today is the day I finally stop. Not feeling good at all but is the last habit I have left to sort.

Wish me luck!
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#70

Postby Wave » Sun May 20, 2018 6:27 pm

Day 2 no nicotine

Today was easier but not feel 100% on edge and can't stop eating. Will be so pleased when over the withdrawals. I feels harder quitting the spray over cigs as you know smoking is bad, whereas a spray doesn't feel bad and can do inside with no smell. Commited to ride it out this time, don't want the last two days to be for nothing!
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#71

Postby Wave » Wed May 23, 2018 6:21 pm

Day 5 No Nicotine

Feel I am break the habit but very short temper and eating loads, probably going to put more weight on but will sort once through with this. Staying active and busy but shattered and ready for the weekend already!!

16 Months Weed Free

Never made it this far and happy I am almost at 18 months!!
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#72

Postby Wave » Sun May 27, 2018 1:22 pm

Day 7 - No nicotine

Glad to have got the first week done. I went out Friday and all the people I was with were smoking (cigs) and didn't cave but before I left I had two drags of a cig but I slightly failed but pleased I managed to not smoke much, usually I would have been 10 cigs in.

Realised as well that I know a fair few people still smoking bud and it doesn't bother me, use to always end up in situations were I was being offered joints and now much less the case. Think failing too many times has shown me its not worth it.

Need to carry on with the no nicotine which is hard but know its for the best. The slip up on Friday has affected my appetite again.
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#73

Postby Wave » Tue May 29, 2018 4:44 am

Day 9 - No nicotine

Feel a whole lot better now. Appetite is settling down and mood is stabilising. So happy to be done with nicotine and went out last night and didn't get tempted to smoke at all and just drank water. Love going to the pub and sometimes not drinking, think it is very important to be able to control any substance, though alcohol is something I do 1-2 times a week tops.
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#74

Postby reckoning » Wed May 30, 2018 6:01 am

Keep going Wave you are doing great. Congrats on riding nicotine. Your health status is improving each day. No doubt like any bad habit it will be waiting for a weak moment to try and reassert your craving for it. You are strong and your experienced in shaking habits so you will succeed. Cheers liz
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