Getting Better At Quitting

Postby kickingthehabit » Fri Jan 27, 2017 3:47 am

Hey all,

I've posted here before and I quit successfully before... for 4 months. That was the longest I went without weed within the past 8 years I've smoked and the decision to cave again was so casual, which is what kills me.

Every attempt to quit before seems so dramatic in retrospect. I don't know what prompted my decision to quit this time around, but I guess my heart was just ready for it. Smoking just wasn't fun anymore.

I had been wanting to quit so badly the past several years but I stopped trying because it didn't seem that out of control. I only vaped a little at night and occasionally smoking joints (perhaps 1/4-1/2) once a week. I weaned off of the joints and only used my pen for a while. I even went some days without smoking at all.

As of this moment, it's Day 12 of being completely free and I'm realizing how much my body's been depending on it. Anyone who claims that they're fine are lying to themselves. (By the way, the societal views on marijuana is such a joke, but I won't get started on that... that's a completely different topic - and one that I can rant on for pages.)

The first week, I was on a roll. Today is where the symptoms are peaking - dull headache, depression, feels like a cold is coming on, hot flashes, sleepiness, and anxiety.

After reading some of the other users' posts here, I actually feel quite bad for the people who are experiencing extreme withdrawal pains that I actually feel I have nothing to bitch about. I feel like I don't deserve to lol.

But I guess I just feel lonely. I'm glad I've weaned off of it and I've quit so many times in the past that I know what to expect this time around. I've tried the whole cold turkey thing and it's just not worth it. It's been better for me to become more mentally and emotionally prepared this time around.

I know the emotional cravings are going to start within the next few months even though I feel strong right now. It's good to know what you're in for.

Strangely enough, I don't feel like a failure for not having quit already. I feel that every attempt to quit has made me stronger and I feel better about that.

For those of you quitting, hang on tight. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

By the way, it just hit me as I was reading through the severe withdrawal symptoms - perhaps there were additives to what you were smoking? Maybe it wasn't just plain weed... just a thought.

Anyways, toodles for now. Stay strong guys <3
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#1

Postby cleanofgreen » Fri Jan 27, 2017 10:17 am

By the way, it just hit me as I was reading through the severe withdrawal symptoms - perhaps there were additives to what you were smoking? Maybe it wasn't just plain weed... just a thought.



Can only speak for myself but, I know for a fact that there were no additives in my weed as it was all totally organic :wink: . Then saying that I didn't have the really bad physical withdrawal symptoms reported by some just headaches, sleep problems an such. The bad symptoms for me were and still are to a degree all mental, depression, anxiety, fear, dread, guilt, and depersonalization. These symptoms seem to be getting better as the days roll on (day 124 today :D ), and the length of good days longer.
It would be nice if one of the posters who had severe physical withdrawals and grew there own organic weed would post and let us know. Then we would know for sure.
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#2

Postby Wave » Fri Jan 27, 2017 4:28 pm

Great reading your post and great news on your progress. I 100% underestimated how difficult this could be as someone who didnt smoke all that much. Need to start my exercise routine and think I will feel a lot better for that (always helped massively in previous quits).

How you feeling at the moment?
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#3

Postby kickingthehabit » Sun Jan 29, 2017 10:22 pm

WAVE! Long time no talk.
cleanofgreen, thanks for your reply!

The past few days have gone by more smoothly. A bit more stable emotionally. That's the hardest thing about the whole withdrawal - the emotional aspect. Nothing's worse than being so anxious all the time. I think that's the thing though - I smoked in order to be less anxious and now, I'm just facing it head-on.

*Post weed realizations*

Something I’ve had to come to terms with is the fact that quitting doesn’t make everything better. In fact, at first, it will make everything worse. You’ll feel great for the first week and then, BAM. You crash and burn. BUT, you don’t die. You rise out of the ashes, like a phoenix, reborn.

Just kidding. It’s not that magnificent.

Your problems won’t be automatically resolved. You will STILL have the same problems you’ve had all along, but this time, you’ll be facing them head-on instead of running away from them temporarily through the haze of MJ.
And THAT makes all the difference my friends.
And THAT is exactly what SUCKS. BALLS.

Facing reality without the smoke to make you think it’s all great and dandy is what creates the anxiety and depression. It’s like the soundtrack and laugh-track to the comedy is gone and you’re left all alone to the dullness of life. Turns out, life wasn’t all that great in the first place. You just fooled yourself into thinking it was.

The stark contrast makes life seem so uninteresting and don’t even get me started on the thought of having to socialize with boring people without weed! GOOD GOD. The worst.

Lately, I've been focusing on reading a lot more (started a new master's program), hitting the gym, and focusing on improving myself in general. The most important aspect is the mind - staying positive, getting closer with God, and getting more active.

Stay positive! We got this.
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#4

Postby kickingthehabit » Thu Feb 02, 2017 4:36 pm

Day 19
It's getting increasingly harder to wake up! I used to be able to wake up with NO problem whatsoever soon after I quit. Since a few days ago, it's been getting harder and harder to.

I've been dreaming a LOT after I snooze, so that should be incentive to wake up, especially when you dream that your mom died and you're bawling in your sleep -___-

Something I've noticed is that old thought patterns, habits, and even flashes of old movies I've seen keep coming back to me. They happen at random and are random too. So strange.

I guess making change of any sort is never easy and since I've tried quitting a dozen times, I feel like I should know what to expect; but the funny thing is that it feels so different this time around. Perhaps it was always like this and I don't remember.

Today, my head feels heavy (slight headache) and thoughts keep getting jumbled up in my head. I'm definitely thinking more clearly than if I were high, but I'm starting to realize how mixed up my thoughts were in the past!

There's a lack of order in my head and I suppose that's why I cleaned my room - an effort to get a sense of clarity - at least externally. It definitely helps to get more organized.

I'm realizing how many things I've been putting off and the perfectionist beast inside me has been woken again without Mary Jane to still it. It's a bit overwhelming to have to face everything but maintaining a positive attitude, praying, and reading scripture has helped a lot.

I'm learning what my priorities in life are and starting to come to terms with that. I'm just glad this is all happening, because I know I'm on the road to recovery. I hope y'all are feeling the same. Stay strong, my friends! We're on our way :D
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#5

Postby Wave » Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:27 am

Putting things off is a great way to sum up life when your high. It sounds like you are doing all the right things and just hang in there, you can do this!
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#6

Postby kickingthehabit » Tue Feb 07, 2017 3:50 pm

It's Day 24!
I had a hard time sleeping last night - need to cut off coffee after 12...
I feel great. These days, I'm back to feeling awesome. Alive and full of energy.
There were days when I felt depressed and anxious. Those were the worst, but staying busy always helps. SLEEP is also a great answer.

Guys, if you ever feel like you're in a funk, just get what you need to get done and go to bed early! Prioritize sleep and sleep a lot to let yourself heal. You'll feel better in no time.

Eating well, light exercise, and drinking lots of water has also helped me immensely. As with all things, start slow. Don't get too ambitious. Don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and take it easy. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Blessings to all of you! <3
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#7

Postby Wave » Tue Feb 07, 2017 9:11 pm

Great advice here! The mornings you wake up from a good night sleep it is a great feeling and does help the day go much much better!!

Thanks for reminding me about exercise, I have stopped a little and already feel the negatives from this. Will get back to this tomorrow!

It is great to hear you sound positive, use this energy to keep going!
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#8

Postby Hellokitty85 » Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:17 pm

Awesome advice! Really makes me feel hopeful
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#9

Postby kickingthehabit » Fri Feb 17, 2017 9:45 pm

Day 34
Life is so great!

Been focusing on my walk with God and doing more cardio. I do at least 30 minutes of fast-paced walking (been adding some running now) everyday and my skin has never looked better. In fact, I’d dare say that it’s glowing!

One small thing that’s been bothering me is what I’ve discovered today is called “buxism”, which is teeth-grinding. I wake up with such a sore jaw and it’s because I keep clenching my teeth while I sleep. It’s caused by sleep apnea, which can be caused by any number of things. I think mainly, I decreasing my coffee intake and not looking at electronics before bed will fix it. Sleep disturbances are a common issue with quitting. I do think I still have some crazy dreams, but I don’t remember them. I don’t even try. I just wake up, thank God for another day, and forget the nonsense that comes up during sleep.

Other than the jaw thing, I haven’t had any other issues. I haven’t been experiencing depression or anxiety, and I’ve been getting so much done! I hardly watch any TV, I’m practicing my music again, and I resumed learning the languages I’d been wanting to learn.

My money is going towards better things and I’m actually buying myself some new clothes. Interesting to see how even my fashion choices are changing.

All of the times that I had tried to quit before is helping me so much right now and most days, I don’t even think about the fact that I used to smoke. I put all of my focus on what I’m doing and need to get done. I don’t attribute my issues to withdrawal, but I just pick up and carry on if I seem to be having a down moment.

I’ve tried to quit many times in the past 4 years and I don’t consider all of the times that I “cracked” as failures. I’ve learned so much from each attempt and maintaining positive detachment throughout all of this has been extremely helpful. If you ever feel down about having succumbed to temptation, don’t beat yourself up over it! Just move on from that moment as fast as you can. There’s no need to be so harsh with yourself about it. Stay positive. We’re all doing great guys! Keep up the awesome work <3
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#10

Postby kickingthehabit » Tue Apr 11, 2017 3:59 pm

Day 87

A couple of days ago, I smoked again with my brother, who is the one who got me started smoking. It was so strange because my dad and my sister was smoking with us.
After I was done smoking, I got so upset because I had broken my quit before I even hit my 4 month mark... the longest I had ever gone without weed. I could almost cry.

Thankfully, I woke up.

I don't think I've had dreams of using this time around until recently, but I was so happy to wake up! I haven't had many urges to smoke either this quit, and I'm truly grateful for that. I've been living my life as if I'd never smoked before in my life and it's been helpful to stay busy.

I guess I've finally come to terms with the fact that weed has done nothing to enhance my life and any times I caved, it was out of desperation for an escape. Reality can sometimes be overbearing but it's important to face life head on. A desire to smoke usually stems from an incongruity in life and lack of satisfaction in one aspect or another. It's been helpful for me to see my desires to smoke as a red flag and use it as an impetus to do some introspective reflection.

By the grace of God, this quit has been quite easy. I don't consider myself "out of the woods" just yet, but I think considering a using dream a nightmare is a good sign. My life isn't perfect and it never will be, but it's a lot better in every way. I'm working out almost every day, I've read so many great books, I'm practicing my music again, and I'm going to school. Controlling my nutrition is still a problem, but that's a separate issue - one that I used to blame on weed, but having taken a step back from MJ, I now recognize it for what it is.

When you quit, that often happens. You think certain problems are because of weed, but in fact, you see that it was a problem all along. Weed only enhanced it. Quitting helps you deal with the problems in the long run.

Take heart everyone. Life can be awesome without MJ.
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#11

Postby tokeless » Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:29 pm

I've had lots of dreams where I've been looking for weed or coffeeshops in the Dam, one's I know well but I'm the dream it's still the Dam but it looks different if that makes sense. I look and look but struggle to find them. When I do I visualise myself getting ready to skin one up but never get to smoke it before I either wake or flip out the dream.
It happens less now but I reckon it's my subconscious letting me know I'm passed that now... it's just a memory.
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#12

Postby HDog455 » Tue Apr 11, 2017 8:16 pm

tokeless wrote:I've had lots of dreams where I've been looking for weed or coffeeshops in the Dam, one's I know well but I'm the dream it's still the Dam but it looks different if that makes sense. I look and look but struggle to find them. When I do I visualise myself getting ready to skin one up but never get to smoke it before I either wake or flip out the dream.
It happens less now but I reckon it's my subconscious letting me know I'm passed that now... it's just a memory.


Hey tokeless, I still have that type of dream occasionally - it's always about having access to a large amount of weed and people who are smoking but I never actually partake of it myself.

kicking, I'm certain that you have well and truly left addiction in the past. I'm loving your posts - they remind me of my quitting journey nine years ago.
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#13

Postby kickingthehabit » Mon May 22, 2017 3:27 pm

Day 128

The longest I had ever gone without smoking was 120 days out of the 8 years I've been smoking and by God's grace, I finally beat my all-time record! :D

My sister still smokes occasionally and when she does, it's tempting. She knows I've quit for good though and supports my decision, so she doesn't let me smoke. Thank God too because I would've been so angry with myself if I did smoke.

The best benefits I've come to appreciate are
- waking up is easier (it's hard enough as it is, isn't it?)
- I go to bed at a decent hour
- I don't enter delusions of grandeur and actually do what I say
- I don't let my words proceed my actions
- I'm more in control of what I eat and when
- I exercise everyday
- I don't abuse caffeine to counter green haze

Stay strong guys, quitting is so worth it in the long run. Don't succumb to temporary pleasure for a life-time of pain, no matter what anyone says.
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#14

Postby Wave » Mon May 29, 2017 11:01 am

Great job!! Excellent to hear such a positive update. I am about 4 months in to quitting and feels really good too.

Yea weed will always be about but getting to the point where you are not tempted, has such a negative impact on your life.
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