PAWS?

#30

Postby NoProblem » Mon Feb 13, 2017 11:59 pm

My panic attacks are the same way. My heart starts to race, then I get this jolt of adrenaline in the pit of my stomach and I feel my chest get tight, and its all downhill from there. The intensity of those reactions has calmed down significantly, so that's definitely a plus. I would consider 2 months extremely early. I smoked for approximately 3 years (once a week), which turned into smoking everyday for 8 months. I quit on the 8th month and thats when it all went downhill. Your experience is in line with others' experiences on Uncommonforum.

Anytime man. You're not alone.
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#31

Postby Antmorales16 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 12:53 am

So how did you deal with the emptiness and lack of emotions? The andehonia.. It's hard to motivate myself to do things when I know I won't enjoy them
Ya know. It's hard. And how has your thinking been? Have you been able to reason out your thoughts better & actually think out things instead of believing every single irrational thought? That's one of my problems.. Much love man
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#32

Postby Antmorales16 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 1:52 am

Also I've realized that towards the nighttime
The anxiety starts to go away. Very wierd.. Have you had that before?
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#33

Postby NoProblem » Tue Feb 14, 2017 2:10 am

Honestly, I tried my best to not associate with them and would constantly tell myself that it's withdrawals. I let it run its course hoping that one day, it would stabilize. Mind you, this was a really difficult thing to do. I had days where I would lay in bed and just stare at the ceiling and let my mind race. My only real sense of clarity came while I was working out in the gym or doing some sort of cardio. I felt clear headed.

Overall, thinking is pretty well back to normal. I still have those fears I mentioned earlier that developed during withdrawals. It is only when I think about them or face them that my mind starts to race with worse case scenario, non stop. Distractions are key, but they don't always work.

And yeah, my experience was similar. As nighttime would approach, things would be better. In the mornings, it was the worst. This is likely due to the cortisol rush from waking and the fragile state our CNS is in during withdrawal. Anything will set it off and keep it on for an extended period of time. This is why people advise doing the minimal amount you can on rough days.
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#34

Postby Antmorales16 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 2:14 am

Wow. I'm so glad to hear that you've been the same. Even on your "good days" per say did you still feel off in a way?
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#35

Postby Antmorales16 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 2:15 am

And did you keep doing whatever hobby you once enjoyed Untill you started to enjoy it ? And how did it feel to finally feel your full emotions after being numbed from them due to
Withdrawal? For example I can't feel love, excitement or any type of passion towards anything or anyone. ;( and it sucks
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#36

Postby LondonScouse » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:06 am

Hey dude, i also suffer from a lack of emotions brought on by smoking weed daily for years.

Let me ask you a few questions;

how old are you ?
when did you start smoking...how frequent and for how long
Do you suffer from 'depersonlization disorder' which can be described as "watching life through a weird film, like a movie, or like a dream"

I'm not 100% sure if the emotions do come back because I haven't quit for longer than 5 months, but they did improve...although i still wasn't able to cry.

T
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#37

Postby LondonScouse » Tue Feb 14, 2017 9:08 am

Oh and btw, even the anhedonia slowly got a little bit better.

I previously mentioned i quit for about 5 months once, well the anhedonia started to get better around 3.5-4 months. For example, i noticed that I actually enjoyed playing video games, and also after i went out with friends...i enjoyed it, came home and said, damn that was a fun day
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#38

Postby NoProblem » Tue Feb 14, 2017 12:08 pm

My 'good days' weren't symptom free. Just 'better feeling' days, for the most part. Anxiety would be slightly reduced, depression and anhedonia would be non-existant, wouldn't feel derealized/depersonalized. But it would all return shortly after (12-24hrs later). As time went on, these 'good' stretches would continue for longer than the symptom waves would until it became a norm.

Part of me still has some numbness of emotions from the whole process, but I'm much better than say 2-3 months ago. Everything began to feel real again. A genuine happiness, really. Early on, I would feel very empty about everything: socializing, gaming, working, etc. I wouldn't say I continued to do them through the emptiness. I would occasionally dabble in them, but overtime, I began to notice interest in them on my own. Never force yourself back onto those things.

London, not sure if your questions were directed at me, but I can chime in regardless.

I'm 25 years old, began smoking when I was 21 (once a week). At 24, I smoked for 8 months straight (daily, multiple times a day)and realized I needed to quit (April 2016). Withdrawals began shortly after. I suffered through severe depersonalization/derealization early on and it's exactly how you describe it. You almost feel like a 3rd person character in your own life, temporarily detached from reality.
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#39

Postby Antmorales16 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:36 pm

yeah I felt depersonalized for the first month but that went away really. I'm 19 Years old been smoking for 3 years, 2 and a half years daily.. but I'm talking ALOT of weed daily not just a blunt or 2... yeah I can cry sometimes but I can't really feel genuine happiness.. LondonScouse how long have you been weed free and how long did you smoke? I hate this bitch paws!
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#40

Postby LondonScouse » Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:39 pm

NoProblem wrote:My 'good days' weren't symptom free. Just 'better feeling' days, for the most part. Anxiety would be slightly reduced, depression and anhedonia would be non-existant, wouldn't feel derealized/depersonalized. But it would all return shortly after (12-24hrs later). As time went on, these 'good' stretches would continue for longer than the symptom waves would until it became a norm.

Part of me still has some numbness of emotions from the whole process, but I'm much better than say 2-3 months ago. Everything began to feel real again. A genuine happiness, really. Early on, I would feel very empty about everything: socializing, gaming, working, etc. I wouldn't say I continued to do them through the emptiness. I would occasionally dabble in them, but overtime, I began to notice interest in them on my own. Never force yourself back onto those things.

London, not sure if your questions were directed at me, but I can chime in regardless.

I'm 25 years old, began smoking when I was 21 (once a week). At 24, I smoked for 8 months straight (daily, multiple times a day)and realized I needed to quit (April 2016). Withdrawals began shortly after. I suffered through severe depersonalization/derealization early on and it's exactly how you describe it. You almost feel like a 3rd person character in your own life, temporarily detached from reality.


The questions weren't directed at you, but thank you very much for your input. I've read countless of recovery stories and in my opinion yours is a typical recovery story (waves of feeling better until it becomes the norm etc).
The numbing of emotions is very normal in cases of depersonalization, and you should recover your full spectrum of emotions in the few months.

I think Antmorales16 suffers from something different to the typical PAWS symptoms, and I can resonate with him symptoms. I don't think Antmorales16 suffers from depersonalization although I could be wrong, and I would bet my life that he started smoking at a young age.
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#41

Postby Antmorales16 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 3:47 pm

well this is still is paws right? I do get brain fog, emotional emptiness, severe anxiety at days, waves of feeling good, andehonia, lack of excitement and there are some days were I feel a bit depersonalized. but I had severe depersonalization in the beginning of my quit and while I was smoking the last month. I'm early in my quit ( 2 and a half months) and I'm starting to recognize the waves. like today I woke up feeling good, so I think today will be a good day. and yes I did start smoking at a very young age. I should recover still right? I never was like this prior to smoking or even while I was smoking until probably the last 6 months of smoking.
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#42

Postby LondonScouse » Tue Feb 14, 2017 5:22 pm

Yeah as long as you remain abstinent, you should recover...although it could take a long time

if you want to speed up the recovery you should look to do a minimum of 20-30 minutes of running/jogging everyday.

Running/jogging increases blood around the body including the brain as your heart pumps faster to transport oxygen to your muscles. Increased blood flow in the brain is directly correlated to increased production of BDNF which has the capacity to initiate stuff like neurogensis of hippocampal neurons etc
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#43

Postby Antmorales16 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 5:26 pm

anything else you would recommend man? I always get thoughts like dam life isn't the same without weed.... like I don't know what I enjoy.. how do I move forward? how do I actually find things I like when it feels live everything is full of andehonia? I'm a musician but eveytime I make my music it just reminds me of the times I used to smoke... like I love making music but its a massive trigger I feel like. I always get thoughts like dam there really is no "sober" musicians in the hip hop industry (music I make) ... sorry for for being a little random but I'm just venting and need some advice lol how do I move forward lol
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#44

Postby Antmorales16 » Tue Feb 14, 2017 6:12 pm

also another thing man lol I have some fear that I have some mental illness.. I guess its the anxiety but I always get convinced I have some mental illness and it sucks :( I have a fear of bipolar even though I don't get crazy mood swings or nothing like that. Paws always makes me think something is wrong me.. like the lack of concentration and racing thoughts & andehonia.. I guess I tend to seek reassurance a lot.
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