There is a saying that says "union makes force", Being in a couple can generate some dependence, but still it is very nice to have someone to share moments together, and at the same time to know yourself, because it is in relationships where we really know ourselves as we are
You say that you feel nervous when you can not tell the things that bother you, but at the same time you do not say anything to not disturb her..
Lack of communication is a big problem in any relationship, It is very important that both can express what they feel and think, in the most possible way, because no one is a fortuneteller and if there are things that are not said afterwards can give rise to grudges product of things that were not clearly said
It is also important in every relationship to learn to trust and respect times and spaces, to allow the couple to go out with their friends, give themselves time to be able to miss each other and then have more things to tell each other, if two people see each other 24 hours a day, there is no place for surprise, for novelties, awe, details, new experiences to share, all those things happen outside the couple, and it is very important that people can have a life apart from His love relationship, this does not mean a relationship with a lover, but a private life, to dedicate to his family, friends, hobbies
Something that can help you is to meditate, to observe your mind and your emotions remaining here and now, Feeling your breathing, your body, your surroundings, feeling that everything is constantly changing, and that attachment is usually a cause of suffering according to Buddhism, becoming aware that you only need yourself for your own subsistence, you only depend on your own effort And will, love depends on your conscience, your mind, your character, if you are a kind person, you can easily find anyone to love and share moments together, if you are an independent, responsible person can also easily find people Interesting, in fact one can only find on the outside what is similar to oneself
Meditating is also possible to discover that one is never alone, that we are always connected with the universe, and with many people, division is an illusion of the ego, the supreme reality is that everything is one, one is part of the totality, that is It is possible to perceive the interior as a void of thoughts, desires and emotions, it is possible to perceive the conscience as an empty space and feel the totality of life, the song of the birds, the rays of the sun, people around talking and everything In some way affects his own subjectivity, therefore he is never alone, one is always surrounded by nature and people
Sometimes in meditation it is possible to experience a type of psychogenic death, because one detaches himself from his personality, from his identity constructed by relationships with other people, sometimes the sense of identity is given by personal relationships, when one begins to meditate leaves To depend on that identity obtained by relationships and one begins to feel that one is beyond any personal relationship
But it is in meditation where one can die and be reborn in a psychological way, and feel once again complete, one when meditates dies to the past and is reborn to the present, as an individual being, Integrated, full in its solitude, love is art of coexisting with another person, meditation is the art of coexisting with oneself