Need help with this girl that I really like

Postby Lexis95 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:50 am

So I met this girl and everything was going good we were like in the process of dating because we wouldn't talk to anyone else and we both like each other a lot we would kiss and hold hands like if we were dating everything was good and then suddenly it all changed so I asked her that we needed to talk seriously and she just told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship that she needed time to herself but that she still wanted to be friends and have nothing changed so I asked her what she meant by have nothing changed and she said she didn't know like she didn't know if she wanted to be like how we were of talking like recently or like how we were like holding hands and kissing and all of that stuff so I just kept talking to her and then I just needed to know what was gonna happen between us cause she didn't tell me anything so then I texted her this "Hey I'm sorry to bug u but I have to get something off my chest I don't normally do this I really never done this but ur an exception I just want to let u know that the short time we spent I enjoyed every minute of it and if I would have know then what I know now that we wouldn't talk anymore I would have made the days with u longer I know the timing is not right for us I know ur not looking for anything serious which sucks but I respect that I hope we don't lose touch with each other I hope that maybe later on we can work things out so that we can both be happy I know this seems like a lot for knowing someone so shortly but I never felt this way for anyone before" and all she replied was aww how cute and of course we won't lose contact so I then asked her that I meant what I said and that I'm different than other people and she just told me that it means a lot that I'm different so yea like should I just give her time or should I just ask her what's gonna happen? I really like this girl and I don't want to lose her like what should I do or say to not lose contact with her or go to how we were?
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#1

Postby tokeless » Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:25 am

She doesn't want a relationship with you is the main issue.
You need to get out and about and stop sounding so needy but I guess you're young and life can be intense at that age. Let her get on with her life because if she really likes you she'll find you again.
Lastly.. learn some punctuation because reading that made me feel breathless. You're young.. life's long. Slow down
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#2

Postby Lexis95 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:50 pm

But she does sound like she's confused and yet she's young she berly turned 17 and she is the type of girl that doesn't like opening up to people cause she's been lied to and she doesn't really trust people so idk if that makes a difference about her not wanting to be with me
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:58 pm

Lexis95 wrote:...she's young she berly turned 17 ...


Read the above again, and again, and again. She is young, she barely turned 17...

What she is telling you is that you are smothering her. It is too much, too fast. She is young, barely turned 17 and you are telling her you want her to be yours, exclusive, etc. You are not listening to her. You want her to be with you and only you, so you tell yourself she is just confused and doesn't trust to fit her behavior into a reason for you to continue to push her into a relationship she doesn't want. Stop pushing, let it go.
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#4

Postby tokeless » Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:59 pm

I think you're looking for what you want to see rather than what she's telling you indirectly. She's probably aware of how you feel and that your hurting etc so isn't being as blunt as she could be.. you can either keep on trying and lose her even as a friend or accept she doesn't want a relationship and let her go about her life. She's 17.... that's way too young to get serious.
It's your call but you asked for opinions
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#5

Postby Lexis95 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:21 pm

Well yea I get what u are saying but like I know I just wanted to see what the positives instead of looking at the negatives like I'm trying to stay positive and yea I know she is young and she doesn't want to be in a relationship but I'm kinda wondering if I give her space will she come back cuz I really like this girl a lot maybe we were moving too fast and we didn't really get to know each other good and since she doesn't really trust people maybe she doesn't trust me and thinks I'm might just be lying to her like everyone has done to her before
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#6

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:26 pm

Lexis95 wrote:...but I'm kinda wondering if I give her space will she come back ...


Maybe, maybe not. One thing is guaranteed though, if you don't give her space you are absolutely done.

The same as she is young and needs to grow up, so do you. I know it is difficult...I'm not saying it is easy, but the healthy thing for you to do is to start pursuing new relationships and stop looking for a commitment. Find another girl you can date, then another and another. I'm talking going out for coffee, maybe meet for lunch. Stop putting in so much effort into one person that has told you she isn't ready.

You want some guarantee if you give her space she won't find someone else and that she will come back. Well, sorry dude, that isn't how life works. But, if you don't back off it is definitely over.
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