Missing old partners

Postby LenaLee » Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:11 pm

Hello, how are you all ?
I have a very strange problem. I am happily married to a guy who I've loved from the very first moments we met. I completely changed my life because of him. However, I miss my old boyfriends sometimes. Our talks, our time together, that way I felt weird, and adventurous with them, since they were both amazingly cool people and into extreme sports. My ex boyfriends were adventurous and fun, I am a pretty adventurous person myself. I was going rock climbing, long distance hiking, I was travelling a lot, having fun on my own. My husband is not like it. He is handsome, loyal, a wonderful loving man, and I am too. I love him, I wouldnt cheat on him. He even took me to some trips and gives me gifts and flowers, but my freedom and the fun is dead. With my marriage, that fun part of me has died. My husband does not make bad jokes, he is afraid of heights and much more tame. I remember my ex, how we went horseback riding, or how we went to some crazy concerts. My husband is working 14 hours per day, and I understand and respect him. But I suffer, and I cant help it, because i started having arrhythmias, thus Ive gained some physical manifestations of my sorrow. I feel pain in my heart, because I miss the person who I was with my exes and our strange talking. I miss my "crazy" friendships, sudden trips and stupid things in life. I wish to hear from some of my exes. I feel my life would be complete then. But they would think I am in love with them, or want to see them and date them again. But i don't. I just think I would feel that way again, the way I was, if I revived our friendships. But they would either think I love them or want to date them again. Which is not the case. I hope you guys understand me. Because I feel a heavy rock on my heart .
LenaLee
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#1

Postby tokeless » Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:07 pm

Talk to your husband and suggest putting some excitement it to both your lives. He may need encouraging and it may do him good. Otherwise you're looking outside of your relationship for the answer.... we all know how that could turn out.
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#2

Postby LenaLee » Tue Mar 21, 2017 8:00 am

Dear tokeless, I would love to tell him more about my feelings. But when I start talking about it (and believe me I tried), he gets offended. He is easily hurt by anything I tell him. He doesnt get grumpy or nervous, but he gets genuinely sad. He expects from me only compliments, how everything is great, and if I mention some things I miss in my life, he gets offended easily and doesn't want to talk about it. So I am really feeling caught up, and there is nothing else but to accept this life as it is and hope the sadness would go away eventually :(
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#3

Postby Candid » Tue Mar 21, 2017 9:22 am

What's stopping you going out for adventures in extreme sports without him? You tell him where you're going and when you expect to be back, then you go off, ride a horse, climb rocks or whatever, and make new friends.

Husbands and wives aren't joined at the hip. You'll be a happier person when you're with him, he'll have the freedom to do things and see people without you, and who knows? He might decide to join you for some things.
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#4

Postby deliadelia » Wed Mar 22, 2017 2:17 pm

talk to him..
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