PAWS and anxiety

Postby CKD8323 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:32 am

So I just signed up to this community because I truly am in need of some help and guidance. So I'm about 55 days off weed and 47 days off a drug called kratom. Was only on the kratom for a 2.5 months but I've been a daily smoker for 3 years. I have some decent windows were I feel somewhat alright but I have anxiety almost all the time and depression. The anxiety is what really gets to me though. I have panic attacks and they seem to be made worse by exercise which sucks because working out has been a huge part of my life for many years. It honestly feels like I'll be this way forever. Even now I have ringing in my ears and strange anxiety type sensations while I write this out. Any sort of guidance would be so appreimciated. I live alone and no one understands. I'm 33 years old and completely sober off of everything and I'm lost.
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Postby DaWickerMan777 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:38 am

Hey man- not sure if this will make you feel better... But I'm exactly where you are. I quit weed at the beginning of Feb. 2017... insomnia, anxiety, ringing in the ears (known as tinnitus)... I can't exercise either... yet it was a huge part of my life. I have hot/cold flashes, the night sweats, even odd muscle spasms.

Lurking through this forum, I found other people who quit, and they all have the same symptoms you describe. Including the idea of feeling this way forever (I've had many panic attacks about this. Convinced this is source of anxiety).

You're not in this alone. And, what gets me through another day, is reading all of the success stories on this forum. Look up usernames biggiesize and wakinglife. It's what gets me through. They make no mistake in writing that recovery from weed is an extremely slow and daunting process. The brain will heal (think of everyone who has suffered a concussion who go from zero to 60 in six months to a year and make a full recovery). Apparently it will take a long time and require patience. Use this, as I do, as a remjnder as to way you never want to touch that stuff again. Because when you do heal- why go through this crazy anxiety again?

Best of luck to you and keep posting here. It's what I'm doing. Believe me, I'm currently a shell of my former self. Back in January, compared to now... night and day. But one day at a time. Again, look up those usernames, I read their journeys when I feel like utter crap
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Postby CKD8323 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 12:56 pm

Thank you for that post Dawicker, not that I'm happy you are suffering as well but it is nice to know that there isn't something wrong with me. My mind and my health have always been the two things that have gotten me through and right now it feels like I'm losing both. I am thankfully having a decent morning, I try to enjoy the times I don't feel like complete sh** and use it to get through the tough times.
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Postby bpn21 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:15 pm

I just wanted to reach out cause I went through a similar thing as you two are experiencing. I went through I similar spell with exercising when I was at the 6 month mark. It really got to me...every time after I worked out I would get this rush of anxiety and weakness, muscle cramps, muscle twitching. The following days I would feel super fatigued. I took it easy for about two months and then slowly built back up to exercising. It wasn't easy but I'm now at the one yr mark and have been exercising vigorously without problem for quite some time. It won't last forever.

I feel like it should be said that I learned a lot through those hard times. Mainly, anxiety is something you can manifest and amplify with negative thoughts to the point of exhaustion. I was so worried there was something wrong with me I would be thinking about it in my dreams. I'd wake up the next day and could barely stand. I was literarily worrying myself to weakness. It took time to get over that phase. To just accept that it's anxiety and you're going to be fine. As soon as I did that I started to feel much better. I've gotten to the point where now I have to work out to relieve anxiety! 6 months ago I had the opposite idea and I thought I was allergic to exercise.

Don't panic....its the worst thing you can do. Just try to relax and understand that it will be ok in time. If you need to take a few weeks of rest then do so. Start off light and build back up. It's only going to help your anxiety. I remember my first day back in the gym I was dizzy, feeling weak, numbness etc. I wanted to leave and never come back, but I knew if I did then the next time would be even harder. In order to get through anxiety the only thing you can do is conquer your fears, otherwise you're a prisoner to it.
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Postby Hoofhearted » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:19 pm

CDK I know your struggle, your exeperience sounds a lot like what I've dealt with. Anxiety, intrusive thoughts, chest pain/racing heart, and ringing in my ears.

I'm sorry that working out isn't really
an option for you right now, but something you can do that will help get you some exercise and calm your nerves are long walks.
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Postby CKD8323 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:43 pm

Yeah walking seems to be my best options right now, so ready for this snow to melt. We had a nice warm February and I was walking with my dog daily. I think that's why I had a nice little window in there were I felt better. Being cooped up in the house, not enjoying tv or video games and sometimes even reading is too much stimulation. thank you all for the posts it really does feel nice to finally have some support and understanding. Even my most understanding relatives meet me with skepticism when I talk about paws. I don't look sick and to them nothing is wrong on the outside, therefor I must be fine.....very frustrating. Today is actually a really nice day so far, at work feeling semi good. I had one of those deep sleep nights with a lot of vivid dreams.
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