Hey to you all. Thank you for posting replies + for sharing your experiences + for your support.
I'm finding it really interesting and useful reading all your different opinions on here. I understand many of you disagree with mine and i'm sorry. I don't mean to piss people off i'm just being honest about how I feel + i'm very confused in my life right now + i realise my opinions are controversial.
I recognise there were negative aspects to my weed smoking + i was abusing the plant by relying on it daily but weed smoking did have many positives for me also.
I wish to smoke - just the odd joint - again (in the future) because like i say, i don't believe weed was the root cause of the psychotic episode - I believe that happened because of a mix of depression, stressful life circumstances at the time, insomnia + PTSD - there is a possibility cannabis could have been a contributing factor but the medical evidence out there is conflicting and confusing. I have come across research supporting cannabis to be used as treatment for mental illness - If you google 'cannabis to treat psychosis schizophrenia' there are very interesting articles out there on the subject.
I'm really sad + sorry to hear weed has had really negative effects for some of you.
I personally didn't feel like it made me emotionally numb but each individual is different - Me? i felt happier, more spiritual, more peaceful, more connected to people, animals, the environment,more connected to music + less stressed after sparking up. I've always been sensitive, i got upset + cried most days but i also smiled + laughed + felt all the different range of human emotions - the only time i've ever felt void of emotion/empty/zombiefied/brain dead was during the four weeks i spent on that antipsychotic medication.
I also question whether the withdrawal symptoms i've been experiencing have been solely due to the cannabis or has being on antipsychotics for 4 weeks + and then coming off these been a contributing factor for me? Has the environmental factors/drastic changes in my personal life circumstances since the episode also had an effect too? What if the psychotic episode had been treated naturally/alternatively instead of giving me antipsychotics without my consent?
I have so many questions.
I am going to refrain from smoking weed again for at least another few months + hopefully i will begin to feel some of the benefits + i might possibly feel/think differently about everything then too.
Regarding your experiences of paranoia + delusions i believe different strains have different effects on different individuals. I fully support all of your decisions to stop smoking weed + especially if it wasn't agreeing with you.
*Warning - controversial!*
I personally would like to see legalisation of cannabis in this country as the plant has many proven medicinal properties + regardless of whether its legal or not people will + do smoke it for health reasons + or recreationally and if it were to be legalised then it would be safer in many aspects for all partaking.
"The prestige of government has undoubtedly been lowered considerably by the prohibition law. For nothing is more destructive of respect for the government and the law of the land than passing laws which cannot be enforced. It is an open secret that the dangerous increase of crime in this country is closely connected with this." - Albert Einstein
Sorry i know i've got carried away with my overthinking mind + have gone off on tangents + i also know that this is probably not the right place for me to advocate weed or to voice my opinion on the legalisation of drugs, sorry about that + for waffling on - but on the positive If anyone else is having trouble sleeping too then maybe reading my posts could possibly help?
I wish you all the best + well done to all those who have given up addictions, you are an inspiration.
Peace + love.
I enjoyed your Conor McGregor quote thanks
I still have a lot more learning to do in life, but then again don't they say we all learn something new everyday.
Heres one of my favourite quotes:
Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, Don't give up the fight." - Bob Marley <3