Today is 420 which I completely forgot since I smoke everyday anyways. I have been trying to convince myself to quit for so long but every time I find a reason to smoke. Every time I smoke after making the decision to quit I would feel so guilty and telling myself I need to stop. Sometimes I find myself smoking and I don't even remember when I picked it up. It has become a very bad habit that I need to break. I use to think I was too strong-minded for addictions but here I am years in and I can't seem to make it recreational. I don't want to quit forever but I would like for it to be something I do on occasions but not an everyday occurrence.
Today I decided out of the blue to quit and again, not for good, but I need a break so that i can actually get some stuff done and lose some weight. I am not big by all means but I know I can be thinner without the munchies. Right now as I am writing this my heart is racing like mad. I use to think that smoking helps with my anxiety but it looks like it makes it worst. I am scared as hell of how I will survive tonight without smoking. Parts of the reason I've gone back in the past is because I can't seem to fall asleep sober. I am not a talker and do not like people knowing how I feel or what is going on with me and so I struggle with this internally. I am realizing now that I need to talk about it if I am to make a go at it. So here I am talking about it with all of you.
Anyone that is going through the similar situation? How are you coping especially during the first few weeks? It has been a few hours and I am at work so no problem but when I get home I know it will be really hard.