My anxiety is ruining my relationship

Postby Catrina227 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:58 am

Can someone please help me, this is a really long story but I just need someone to tell me that everything will be ok and that my thoughts are not strange.
So I've always kind of been depressed and anxious. I've always had social anxiety and the reason I've been depressed is because my dad left to move to a different country and he's become really ill but I just can't see him. A few weeks ago I went to the doctors because I was having horrible thoughts and feelings and he diagnosed me with severe depression and gave me 20MG of Fluoxetine.

One day I just woke up and felt as though I didn't love my boyfriend anymore and the thoughts would make me physically sick and would make me have panic attacks. I would have thoughts like "i don't even love him why am I just leading him on" or "you like his family and you don't want them to hate you if you break up with him" these thoughts really do make me anxious and even more depressed than I already am. I've already spoken to my boyfriend and he said he understands me and he will never break up with me or anything. I know I love him because the thought of breaking up with him makes me feel sick and I have cried on him loads of times because I'm that in love with him. Every time we kiss my chest goes really tight and I get hot and panic. Every time I imagine the future I imagine it with him so I really don't want to break up or anything.
I feel really guilty that I'm having these thoughts. It's not just thoughts about my boyfriend it's thoughts about my mother and that I should kill myself.
Please can someone tell me if my thoughts will go away with the medication because I'm on edge I really don't know what to do anymore :(.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:03 pm

At what age did you start taking medication, the 20 MG of floux?
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#2

Postby Catrina227 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:13 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:At what age did you start taking medication, the 20 MG of floux?

I've only been taking them for 4 weeks
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:08 pm

At what age?

You have ample evidence that prior to 4 weeks ago, you survived life without taking medication for X years. I'm not saying this made everyday a holiday or that every moment was wonderful, but why do you think now, after all these years medication is the answer?

When you get injured, you go to the doctor and they often provide medicine to help the wound heal or not get infected. Generally speaking, the wound happens fairly close to the time of injury. When the injury is healed, they stop taking the medication. When are you suppose to stop the medication?
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#4

Postby Catrina227 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:56 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:At what age?

You have ample evidence that prior to 4 weeks ago, you survived life without taking medication for X years. I'm not saying this made everyday a holiday or that every moment was wonderful, but why do you think now, after all these years medication is the answer?

When you get injured, you go to the doctor and they often provide medicine to help the wound heal or not get infected. Generally speaking, the wound happens fairly close to the time of injury. When the injury is healed, they stop taking the medication. When are you suppose to stop the medication?

I'm meant to take the medication for 6 months everyday and then 6 weeks every other day. I think it has all come at the same time because I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and I just have a lot of emotions going on. I did some research and I found out that the intrusive thoughts I'm having is a form of OCD. I just feel as though I'm a mess and I will never ever get better :(
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