Can someone please help me, this is a really long story but I just need someone to tell me that everything will be ok and that my thoughts are not strange.
So I've always kind of been depressed and anxious. I've always had social anxiety and the reason I've been depressed is because my dad left to move to a different country and he's become really ill but I just can't see him. A few weeks ago I went to the doctors because I was having horrible thoughts and feelings and he diagnosed me with severe depression and gave me 20MG of Fluoxetine.
One day I just woke up and felt as though I didn't love my boyfriend anymore and the thoughts would make me physically sick and would make me have panic attacks. I would have thoughts like "i don't even love him why am I just leading him on" or "you like his family and you don't want them to hate you if you break up with him" these thoughts really do make me anxious and even more depressed than I already am. I've already spoken to my boyfriend and he said he understands me and he will never break up with me or anything. I know I love him because the thought of breaking up with him makes me feel sick and I have cried on him loads of times because I'm that in love with him. Every time we kiss my chest goes really tight and I get hot and panic. Every time I imagine the future I imagine it with him so I really don't want to break up or anything.
I feel really guilty that I'm having these thoughts. It's not just thoughts about my boyfriend it's thoughts about my mother and that I should kill myself.
Please can someone tell me if my thoughts will go away with the medication because I'm on edge I really don't know what to do anymore