My anxiety is ruining my relationship

Postby Catrina227 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:58 am

Can someone please help me, this is a really long story but I just need someone to tell me that everything will be ok and that my thoughts are not strange.
So I've always kind of been depressed and anxious. I've always had social anxiety and the reason I've been depressed is because my dad left to move to a different country and he's become really ill but I just can't see him. A few weeks ago I went to the doctors because I was having horrible thoughts and feelings and he diagnosed me with severe depression and gave me 20MG of Fluoxetine.

One day I just woke up and felt as though I didn't love my boyfriend anymore and the thoughts would make me physically sick and would make me have panic attacks. I would have thoughts like "i don't even love him why am I just leading him on" or "you like his family and you don't want them to hate you if you break up with him" these thoughts really do make me anxious and even more depressed than I already am. I've already spoken to my boyfriend and he said he understands me and he will never break up with me or anything. I know I love him because the thought of breaking up with him makes me feel sick and I have cried on him loads of times because I'm that in love with him. Every time we kiss my chest goes really tight and I get hot and panic. Every time I imagine the future I imagine it with him so I really don't want to break up or anything.
I feel really guilty that I'm having these thoughts. It's not just thoughts about my boyfriend it's thoughts about my mother and that I should kill myself.
Please can someone tell me if my thoughts will go away with the medication because I'm on edge I really don't know what to do anymore :(.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:03 pm

At what age did you start taking medication, the 20 MG of floux?
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#2

Postby Catrina227 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:13 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:At what age did you start taking medication, the 20 MG of floux?

I've only been taking them for 4 weeks
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri Apr 21, 2017 9:08 pm

At what age?

You have ample evidence that prior to 4 weeks ago, you survived life without taking medication for X years. I'm not saying this made everyday a holiday or that every moment was wonderful, but why do you think now, after all these years medication is the answer?

When you get injured, you go to the doctor and they often provide medicine to help the wound heal or not get infected. Generally speaking, the wound happens fairly close to the time of injury. When the injury is healed, they stop taking the medication. When are you suppose to stop the medication?
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#4

Postby Catrina227 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:56 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:At what age?

You have ample evidence that prior to 4 weeks ago, you survived life without taking medication for X years. I'm not saying this made everyday a holiday or that every moment was wonderful, but why do you think now, after all these years medication is the answer?

When you get injured, you go to the doctor and they often provide medicine to help the wound heal or not get infected. Generally speaking, the wound happens fairly close to the time of injury. When the injury is healed, they stop taking the medication. When are you suppose to stop the medication?

I'm meant to take the medication for 6 months everyday and then 6 weeks every other day. I think it has all come at the same time because I've recently moved in with my boyfriend and I just have a lot of emotions going on. I did some research and I found out that the intrusive thoughts I'm having is a form of OCD. I just feel as though I'm a mess and I will never ever get better :(
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#5

Postby Confusedbutcertain99 » Wed Jul 05, 2017 5:12 pm

Hi.

I am in a similar predicament where I absolute love my boyfriend and we have so much fun together. We have been together for over two years. He is absolutely gorgeous and so driven and together with himself. This makes me feel inadequate as I have recently (since the start of this year) discovered that I have high anxiety and sometimes depression and even OCD. I have managed to get the depression under control a bit as I can now be productive and actually leave my apartment and see friends. So that makes me feel good. However I always have a lingering feeling of constant anxiousness about my relationship. It comes in stages where I started having intrusive thoughts and horrid dreams and morbid thoughts that I fixated on. But now it has come to my relationship since I gained more understanding about the intrusive thoughts and how it affects the brain.

I have tried seeing councilors and most of them are hesitant to put me on strong medication and so is my family and friends and even my boyfriend.

I try and think of the good memories we have with one another but the negativity infiltrates and i go into a spiral. I feel guilty due to these doubts as he is so sure about us and I am just so unstable. He deserves the very best and I always try be my best but I don't know how to deal with these doubts. Is it part of my anxiety disorder cuz the thought of leaving him makes me sick to my stomach. And the thought of him being with someone else makes me want to die.
Please help in any positive way
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#6

Postby Claires1994 » Thu Jul 06, 2017 3:45 pm

I'm suffering so much right now and can relate to everything everyone is saying.. my boyfriend is sooo amazing and means the absolute word to me.. I'm on medication and it's recently been increased, my younger sister and step mom have been experiencing the exact same thing and it's projected itself onto their partners too.. I'm just so so worried that it's not my anxiety and it's just I don't wanna be with him, but this can't be true because whenever I imagine not being with him or him being with someone else makes me cry hysterically till I can't breathe but then seconds later anxious feelings kick in again constantly:( I've heard that the medication can make you feel numb and emotionless and lose that sense of feeling.. so I'm just hoping the fact I'm getting worse towards him is just my medication. He's my absolute word and best friend, has anyone else found themselves getting worse with it over time? Ive suffered for months now and I'm just so drained because of it .. confusedbutcertain99, if you want to message me if you need to talk to someone then feel free.. I need someone too, there's not many people out there who understands is there? And catrina227.. you can message too if you need someone!
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#7

Postby Catrina227 » Thu Jul 06, 2017 6:42 pm

Confusedbutcertain99 wrote:Hi.

I am in a similar predicament where I absolute love my boyfriend and we have so much fun together. We have been together for over two years. He is absolutely gorgeous and so driven and together with himself. This makes me feel inadequate as I have recently (since the start of this year) discovered that I have high anxiety and sometimes depression and even OCD. I have managed to get the depression under control a bit as I can now be productive and actually leave my apartment and see friends. So that makes me feel good. However I always have a lingering feeling of constant anxiousness about my relationship. It comes in stages where I started having intrusive thoughts and horrid dreams and morbid thoughts that I fixated on. But now it has come to my relationship since I gained more understanding about the intrusive thoughts and how it affects the brain.

I have tried seeing councilors and most of them are hesitant to put me on strong medication and so is my family and friends and even my boyfriend.

I try and think of the good memories we have with one another but the negativity infiltrates and i go into a spiral. I feel guilty due to these doubts as he is so sure about us and I am just so unstable. He deserves the very best and I always try be my best but I don't know how to deal with these doubts. Is it part of my anxiety disorder cuz the thought of leaving him makes me sick to my stomach. And the thought of him being with someone else makes me want to die.
Please help in any positive way


I've learnt a lot since I've made this post, I'm still not 100% better but I am improving. right now I'm feeling so down and negative about everything and my anxiety is definitely targeting my relationship right now. Just know it's normal to feel like this when you're going through something. Also, if you didn't love your boyfriend then the thoughts wouldn't bother you, but they do - it's obvious you love him more than anything, I too love my boyfriend more than anything and id do anything to be happy. Just know that patience is the key to this. Please message me id love to speak to someone who knows how I feel. X
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#8

Postby Catrina227 » Thu Jul 06, 2017 6:46 pm

Claires1994 wrote:I'm suffering so much right now and can relate to everything everyone is saying.. my boyfriend is sooo amazing and means the absolute word to me.. I'm on medication and it's recently been increased, my younger sister and step mom have been experiencing the exact same thing and it's projected itself onto their partners too.. I'm just so so worried that it's not my anxiety and it's just I don't wanna be with him, but this can't be true because whenever I imagine not being with him or him being with someone else makes me cry hysterically till I can't breathe but then seconds later anxious feelings kick in again constantly:( I've heard that the medication can make you feel numb and emotionless and lose that sense of feeling.. so I'm just hoping the fact I'm getting worse towards him is just my medication. He's my absolute word and best friend, has anyone else found themselves getting worse with it over time? Ive suffered for months now and I'm just so drained because of it .. confusedbutcertain99, if you want to message me if you need to talk to someone then feel free.. I need someone too, there's not many people out there who understands is there? And catrina227.. you can message too if you need someone!

Hi! In terms of medication, It didn't work for me. I was on it for 10/12 weeks and it made me completely worse. I was feeling even more suicidal so I came off them and tried excersising and meditation. I seen a post online that said "meditate don't medicate" and I promise this is the best thing I've ever seen, meditation will help you understand your brain and you will learn how to deal with the thoughts you're having. And don't worry I feel exactly the same as you, with my boyfriend I can go days feeling euphoric and then we have one tiny little lovers tiff and for like 5 days I'm feeling like I hate myself, I don't love my boyfriend etc and it is so so horrible. I would love to message you so we can talk about how we are feeling and stuff. I hope you're ok xx
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#9

Postby Teagan Powers » Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:51 pm

Please help if you can. Almost a year ago my dad died and I'm 14 and have had other family issues that would stress anyone out until they are broken. Ive been dating my boyfriend for over a year and we were perfectly happy and he is always there for me. You have no idea how much this boy means something to me. He's absolutely everything to me and I've been really stressed with my mom and my sister and my dad and my future and I've been having panic attacks. Normally I could stop them before they start. I've have anxiety problems since I was little. I shake and I can't breathe very well and is hard to get through anything. Recently I woke up one day stressed and literally one stupid thought of me asking myself "do you really love him" and by him I mean my boyfriend and I broke down. He is everything and he has been so supportive when I told him about this. Once thoughts like these starts it gets really hard to focus on anything different. I haven't talked to my friends at all for a few weeks and I just have no motivation to do anything. I feel empty like everything's negative. I really just need help. Should I use his advice and try to get all of the feelings I have back by being with him or should I just give up.
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#10

Postby Claires1994 » Sat Jul 08, 2017 5:58 am

Catrina227, I've tried messaging you but it won't let me! :( have you tried messaging me on here? Ive been on medication since the middle of March and just recently had them increased but i don't feel any different, if anything I feel worse, more detached and my mind is always all over the place. I hate the fact that I feel like this towards someone who means so much to me, I just feel like there's no coming back from this and I'm drifting further away. It worries me that it's not anything to do with anxiety or depression and it's just us but we have the most amazing relationship, we barely argue and he's amazing to me.. he was my best friend prior to being together :( how long have you been suffering for? Did you worry that your feelings had just changed? Xx
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#11

Postby Catrina227 » Sat Jul 08, 2017 3:48 pm

Claires1994 wrote:Catrina227, I've tried messaging you but it won't let me! :( have you tried messaging me on here? Ive been on medication since the middle of March and just recently had them increased but i don't feel any different, if anything I feel worse, more detached and my mind is always all over the place. I hate the fact that I feel like this towards someone who means so much to me, I just feel like there's no coming back from this and I'm drifting further away. It worries me that it's not anything to do with anxiety or depression and it's just us but we have the most amazing relationship, we barely argue and he's amazing to me.. he was my best friend prior to being together :( how long have you been suffering for? Did you worry that your feelings had just changed? Xx

Hi!! I know I've tried messaging you too but it just isn't working, if you've got Instagram or something I could message you on there? I'd really love to message you because we literally feel the exact same. I've been suffering since about March 14th this year, some days I feel amazing and love him to pieces and the next I get easily irritated and I feel like I don't love him. I remember the exact day my feeling towards him changed I was crying my eyes out to my mum and she was telling me it's ok and it's fine to have doubts but I knew it was something more, I started feeling suicidal so I went to the doctors and got diagnosed with depression and got given antidepressants but I absolutely hate them!! So now I am completely off them and I feel much better off them than I do on them. I really want to find a way to message so we can talk more about it! Xx
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#12

Postby Catrina227 » Sat Jul 08, 2017 3:51 pm

Teagan Powers wrote:Please help if you can. Almost a year ago my dad died and I'm 14 and have had other family issues that would stress anyone out until they are broken. Ive been dating my boyfriend for over a year and we were perfectly happy and he is always there for me. You have no idea how much this boy means something to me. He's absolutely everything to me and I've been really stressed with my mom and my sister and my dad and my future and I've been having panic attacks. Normally I could stop them before they start. I've have anxiety problems since I was little. I shake and I can't breathe very well and is hard to get through anything. Recently I woke up one day stressed and literally one stupid thought of me asking myself "do you really love him" and by him I mean my boyfriend and I broke down. He is everything and he has been so supportive when I told him about this. Once thoughts like these starts it gets really hard to focus on anything different. I haven't talked to my friends at all for a few weeks and I just have no motivation to do anything. I feel empty like everything's negative. I really just need help. Should I use his advice and try to get all of the feelings I have back by being with him or should I just give up.


No matter how you feel, never break up with him. If you feel love for him then there's no need to break up with him. You will feel better for a bit and when you find someone else the exact thing will happen again, please just know it's normal to feel like this when you're suffering from anxiety. I promise. Everything will be ok in the end. I recommend meditating and eating healthy and exercise. Nothing is more powerful than the thoughts our own minds come up with, don't fight them back just learn to deal with them. You'll be ok xx
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#13

Postby Claires1994 » Sun Jul 09, 2017 6:43 pm

Hey catrina, what's your Instagram name and I'll try and find you? Omg, i went on medication on the 13th March!! So we're pretty much exactly the same, I was so bad at first which is why I went on them, but I feel worse now and more detached then ever and it's killing me. I really want to talk to you too! It makes me feel so much more at ease knowing I'm not the only one! Xx
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#14

Postby Catrina227 » Mon Jul 10, 2017 1:32 pm

Claires1994 wrote:Hey catrina, what's your Instagram name and I'll try and find you? Omg, i went on medication on the 13th March!! So we're pretty much exactly the same, I was so bad at first which is why I went on them, but I feel worse now and more detached then ever and it's killing me. I really want to talk to you too! It makes me feel so much more at ease knowing I'm not the only one! Xx


Hi! My real name is different to my name on here, is your Instagram name Claires1994 because if it is I'll follow you. And I know I felt worse being on the medication, I'm actually going the doctors today to talk about it. I'd love to private message you on something to talk about all this xx
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