The compatibility between an 18 year old with a 27 year old?

#60

Postby tashlentine » Thu May 18, 2017 7:27 pm

Ok. Speaking as a woman who has used tinder: You match with a guy. One person says hi then the other person says something. The conversation may or may not keep going. You use the first 24-48 hours to figure out if you think it's worth spending your time and money meeting up. If you decide yes you arrange to meet up. If you decide no then you make your excuses and leave. You can do this in one of three ways:
1. The 'nice' way - you chat to them because you don't want to hurt their feelings but are spacey about replying hoping they get the hint. Often they don't so you just leave longer and longer between replies sounding more distant and disinterested. Eventually they get bored of trying and give up.
2 the honest way: look you seem like a nice guy but I'm not really feeling this. Thanks for a great chat and hope you find someone.
3. Ghosting. You just disappear without warning.


She's clearly doing number one. I'm sorry - I don't know you or your backhistory and I am going to be blunt: from this side of the screen you are agonising over minor details said by a relative stranger way more than is useful to you. When my three year relationship was on the rocks a few years ago I didn't analyse every little detail of everything he said to such an extent. You'd be better off using your energy on something else.

She's not playing mind games - most people are pretty straight forward if you listen to their actions rather than their words. people have their own lives and have many reasons for not replying. If a conversation over the internet with someone you barely know, have never met and are not even invested in is fizzling out - especially someone you met on tinder which is instant-gratification central, then step away and move on.
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#61

Postby depolarization » Thu May 18, 2017 8:24 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
depolarization wrote: I think she's trying to lure me in or just messing around, which is fine, just sayin.. I don't buy it.


Lol...luring you into what? An actual date? Oh no!!!!

Does the possibility exist she is playing a mind game? Sure. She might have nothing better to do with her life than play a mind game with some guy on FB for a few weeks. Yawn. Still, it is not unheard of, simply highly unlikely given all of the other much more probable explanations.

The fact you can't seem to acknowledge this girl has a life outside of you and your universe and that she may have well sent the, "Thinking of you, don't know why..." message without some sneaky or mind game intent shows your own lack of maturity in life. There are so many other explanations than her trying to lure you in...please...lol.

She might have been drunk and lonely or just drunk. She might have meant it, but then met some other guy either on FB, Tinder, Eharmony or just real life. Or maybe she suddenly had a family emergency that has distracted her from a budding FB romance, or maybe she just plain forgot she messaged you and your reply drifted lower and lower on her screen as other friends he has messaged her, or XYZ other reasons.

Lure you in...heh heh...I really enjoyed that. You made my day buddy. Thanks.



I'm suggesting that to send that after 5 days of daily, "non personal" chatting is not normal.You just don't do that. It's a calculated move which makes me uneasy given what followed. . White lies is one thing, but to manipulate/lie about personal feelings is something I'm very reserved against. Bad feelings....
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#62

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu May 18, 2017 8:49 pm

depolarization wrote:
I'm suggesting that to send that after 5 days of daily, "non personal" chatting is not normal.You just don't do that. It's a calculated move which makes me uneasy given what followed. . White lies is one thing, but to manipulate/lie about personal feelings is something I'm very reserved against. Bad feelings....


Sure buddy, this 19 year old is making a "calculated move", the same 19 year old that you began this thread describing her as being intellectually undeveloped due to her youth. There is certainly no other possible explanation for her message than intentional, calculated manipulation. You need to be very, very careful my friend. You never know, she might be luring you in as part of a syndicate that harvests organs.
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#63

Postby depolarization » Thu May 18, 2017 9:12 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
depolarization wrote:
I'm suggesting that to send that after 5 days of daily, "non personal" chatting is not normal.You just don't do that. It's a calculated move which makes me uneasy given what followed. . White lies is one thing, but to manipulate/lie about personal feelings is something I'm very reserved against. Bad feelings....


Sure buddy, this 19 year old is making a "calculated move", the same 19 year old that you began this thread describing her as being intellectually undeveloped due to her youth. There is certainly no other possible explanation for her message than intentional, calculated manipulation. You need to be very, very careful my friend. You never know, she might be luring you in as part of a syndicate that harvests organs.


Manipulation is only in effect when true feelings are not present. That's the hole point. You don't manipulate someone if you're sincere.
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#64

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu May 18, 2017 9:26 pm

depolarization wrote: Manipulation is only in effect when true feelings are not present. That's the hole point. You don't manipulate someone if you're sincere.


Sure. There is no other possible explanation, none whatsoever. Whew! You really dodged a bullet on this one. Good thing you analyzed the heck out of her every single message. Who knows what would have happened if you had made the horrible mistake of actually meeting for lunch!?!? Good thing you didn't waste two or three hours of your time taking that route.
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#65

Postby depolarization » Fri May 19, 2017 6:33 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
depolarization wrote: Manipulation is only in effect when true feelings are not present. That's the hole point. You don't manipulate someone if you're sincere.


Sure. There is no other possible explanation, none whatsoever. Whew! You really dodged a bullet on this one. Good thing you analyzed the heck out of her every single message. Who knows what would have happened if you had made the horrible mistake of actually meeting for lunch!?!? Good thing you didn't waste two or three hours of your time taking that route.


That's assuming this wasn't a truly strange coincidence and that she actually dissed me for someone else.
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#66

Postby quietvoice » Fri May 19, 2017 11:11 am

depolarization wrote:That's assuming this wasn't a truly strange coincidence and that she actually dissed me for someone else.

What strange coincidence?
Do you mean "dissed" as in disrespected or disconnected?
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#67

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Fri May 19, 2017 11:19 am

depolarization wrote:That's assuming this wasn't a truly strange coincidence and that she actually dissed me for someone else.


Well, it depends if she typed, "Thinking of you"...or "Thinking about you." I think at this point you should go back through, create a timeline of all her messages and see if you might have overlooked anything.
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#68

Postby Candid » Fri May 19, 2017 1:29 pm

lol Richard.
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#69

Postby depolarization » Tue May 23, 2017 3:59 pm

Please give me your take on the following events which I deem highly suspect (you tell me if it's positive or negative).

I wrote to her an old saying (7 days ago) which she reiterated to a friend in an open Facebook tag yesterday, right out in the open "stole" my expression, which I'm confident she never heard before because it's not native to our language.

That should be good news, but I've still not heard from her since I wrote that..
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#70

Postby Candid » Tue May 23, 2017 4:04 pm

Highly suspect indeed! She was just stringing you along in order to steal your expression.

I don't understand why you think that should be good news.
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#71

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue May 23, 2017 4:09 pm

depolarization wrote:I wrote to her an old saying (7 days ago) which she reiterated to a friend in an open Facebook tag yesterday, ...That should be good news, but I've still not heard from her since I wrote that..


The only way to know is to look at the reiteration and see how many likes and comments where receieved.
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#72

Postby depolarization » Tue May 23, 2017 4:11 pm

Candid wrote:Highly suspect indeed! She was just stringing you along in order to steal your expression.

I don't understand why you think that should be good news.


Well at least I'm on her mind and she liked the expression 8) I don't think for a minute after this think that she is indifferent to me. I was right, Richard was wrong.
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#73

Postby depolarization » Tue May 23, 2017 4:13 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
depolarization wrote:I wrote to her an old saying (7 days ago) which she reiterated to a friend in an open Facebook tag yesterday, ...That should be good news, but I've still not heard from her since I wrote that..


The only way to know is to look at the reiteration and see how many likes and comments where receieved.


Don't you think it's a bit creepy, what she did. I told you that she's calculative.
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#74

Postby Candid » Tue May 23, 2017 4:18 pm

depolarization wrote: I've still not heard from her since I wrote that..


What was the text of the message you sent her?
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