What do I do now?

Postby Zteps » Mon May 15, 2017 7:35 am

Hi everyone,

I'm a 33 year old male and have had depression since my mid 20s or so.

I don't know what to do about it.

I have spoken to friends about this, I have seen a therapist, and I have been prescribes antidepressants (which I haven't taken so far).

I don't feel anywhere near as bad as my worst.
At my worst I was crippled, I felt like I weighed a tonne and I couldn't move.

Now my feelings/emotions are not as strong so it is more bearable.
But, I feel absolutely no positive feelings at all.
My entire emotional range consists of sorrow, sadness, regret and guilt.
I look forward to nothing, I am interested in very little, it is difficult to keep my concentration.

I guess what I am trying to ask is do I take the antidepressants?
I don't feel horrible... but I just don't feel (and have not felt for a very long time) any positive feelings.
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Postby Candid » Mon May 15, 2017 11:04 am

I don't think antidepressants help with a depressing lifestyle. Do you feel good when with your friends?
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Postby Zteps » Mon May 15, 2017 1:41 pm

Yes I generally feel fine with friends. But given that I am no longer interested in anything I am limited friends.

I feel like I would feel better if I had a girlfriend to do stuff with but it's hard to get into a relationship as when I talk to girls I can see excitement/joy in them yet I barely have energy to even pretend.
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Postby Livetowin » Fri May 19, 2017 2:14 pm

For starters feelings are often an internal cue to something that is bothering us either through previous experiences or underlying issues we are not addressing in our lives. Let's toss out the girlfriend notion because until you understand what you need for yourself, now is not a good time to bring someone else into that fold as if they should be servicing those needs. You manage those issues, no one else.

When you talk about regret and guilt, what are you directing those emotions at? Is there something you did to react in that fashion or did someone tell you to feel that way? What kind of childhood did you have and did the environment you grew up in foster these emotions?

What are you looking at when you feel depressed? What picture are you drawing that isolates you into this mood when you feel that emotion? And when you're sad is that a reaction from the general state you remain in or is there a specific event or series of events that have led you to immerse yourself in these feelings?

All emotions have origins, so you must first take a completely honest look at yourself and ask these questions. We only control ourselves in life. And we should never let the words or actions of others define us. You must find definition from within so you can understand what you see outside yourself.
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Postby hopefulcheese » Tue May 30, 2017 11:47 pm

I agree with Livetowin.. partly. My boyfriend (or I don't know, we are in a complicated situation right now as he is withdrawn a lot of times) was a little depressed when we started out. Now he is full blown depressed and it has definitely put a stress into our relationship. So, yeaa..now may not be a good time. It may even turn out to be an added burden to you. I know we're not in the same boat but I have somehow felt crippled in the past and felt paralyzed that I didn't want to get out of bed.. not even to eat. So it must be tough.

I also agree that there may be things that you need to address as these may be leading you to this state. BUT....

I have issues myself... A LOT and it's overwhelming. Most days I am able to manage them but there are days when they all seem to resurface at the same time, I feel like I'm drowning. Add anxiety to that. I cry and I just want to stay in bed. But over time I realized that it's because of the food I eat, from observation. When I consume too much sugar/caffeine, it will eventually lead me to feeling this way. What I'm trying to say is, you may also want to look into your physiological/internal condition. I don't like to take meds because they have side effects but that is just me, because I am able to handle when I feel depressed now.

I think it's great that you are able to rationalize what is going on mentally/emotionally. It seems you are aware that you can get better, just need to figure out how to go about it...but you will get there :)
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