Psychological complex where I can't do things by myself

Postby Translucent » Tue May 16, 2017 12:15 am

Hello, I have a strange fear and discomfort about doing things without others' approval, and sometimes I can't do things by myself at all.

I think the psychological complex may be due to some of these reasons:
1. My father always put pressure on me to do whatever he was doing, and if I refused he would get very bitter and discipline me, even more so than other times. It would be things like working, fishing, hikes, going to the swimming pool, etc. This continued through my teens and into adulthood, only now am I learning to say no, and since I started to do that, he got even more bitter :(
2. School. Now that I no longer go to school, I feel I have no direction or reward system (praise form a teacher, a good grade, etc.). I feel like there's no reward for doing good from others, and simple tasks have become tedious.
3. I feel like if I achieve or attain something, someone else can just come and take it away. This may have something to do with when I was 19 and got arrested for making a comment to a neighbour, put in a hospital, and had my home ransacked by the police. They took whatever they wanted and I felt raped and disgraced.
4. Several other times I was hospitalized for mental health reasons before I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It seems people can just lock you up without hearing your side of the story. I was in and out of the psych ward for years until about 3 years ago. Now I feel almost as though if I'm myself, and say how I feel, I could get thrown in hospital without my consent. It's literally like being thrown in prison without trial. This developed the complex I think because I started to fear being an individualist and began to seek others' approval to avoid the severe disgrace I've experienced.

How can I overcome this psychological complex? If you could shed some light into this, that would be really helpful, thanks.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue May 16, 2017 1:40 am

Translucent wrote:
How can I overcome this psychological complex? If you could shed some light into this, that would be really helpful, thanks.


By doing things and keeping a journal of your success. Start with small things.
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#2

Postby Translucent » Tue May 16, 2017 2:22 am

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Translucent wrote:
How can I overcome this psychological complex? If you could shed some light into this, that would be really helpful, thanks.


By doing things and keeping a journal of your success. Start with small things.


Like what?
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue May 16, 2017 2:24 am

Translucent wrote:Like what?


Anything you want. I'm sure you have or can come up with some goals in life, whether personal or professional. What is one goal you have?
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#4

Postby Translucent » Tue May 16, 2017 2:50 am

Well my dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps and be a construction worker but I want to be a writer. Do you know of any writers that climbed the ladder?
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Tue May 16, 2017 3:26 am

Translucent wrote:Well my dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps and be a construction worker but I want to be a writer. Do you know of any writers that climbed the ladder?


So what your dad wants is irrelevant.

If you want to be a writer, you accomplish that goal by writing. You start with a few paragraphs, then a page, then a few pages, then a chapter, then a book.

Can you successfully write a few paragraphs?
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#6

Postby popcorn123 » Wed May 24, 2017 12:16 am

Translucent wrote:Well my dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps and be a construction worker but I want to be a writer. Do you know of any writers that climbed the ladder?


Isn't the story of J.K. Rowling one of the inspirational stories of a writer?
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#7

Postby Translucent » Wed May 24, 2017 1:48 am

popcorn123 wrote:
Translucent wrote:Well my dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps and be a construction worker but I want to be a writer. Do you know of any writers that climbed the ladder?


Isn't the story of J.K. Rowling one of the inspirational stories of a writer?


True, it took her 7 years and a lot of hardship to create her first book. I do not particularly want the fame she has, but I do want to grow as a person and write about what's real to me. Thanks! :)
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#8

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed May 24, 2017 3:14 am

Translucent wrote: I do not particularly want the fame she has, but I do want to grow as a person and write about what's real to me.


And that starts with publishing a few paragraphs.
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#9

Postby Translucent » Wed May 24, 2017 5:49 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Translucent wrote: I do not particularly want the fame she has, but I do want to grow as a person and write about what's real to me.


And that starts with publishing a few paragraphs.


I have written over 300 poems in the last 4 years, and though they are well-received, I feel they lack a common theme as I wrote about lessons I learned over that time.

Do you think I should try to publish those poems, or should I start over with a theme in mind?
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#10

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Wed May 24, 2017 5:59 pm

Translucent wrote:I have written over 300 poems in the last 4 years, and though they are well-received, I feel they lack a common theme as I wrote about lessons I learned over that time.

Do you think I should try to publish those poems, or should I start over with a theme in mind?


Wow, 300 is great!

I would publish a "best of" book. Poems don't need a common theme as people understand one poem doesn't need to necessarily be connected to another. Lessons learned over time is a sufficient theme.

To get a "best of" book take the 300 and take a few months to figure which ones are the best of the best. Use A vs B testing, asking people which do they like best, A or B, B or C, etc. etc. until you get the top 50 or 100.
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#11

Postby Translucent » Wed May 24, 2017 6:26 pm

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Translucent wrote:I have written over 300 poems in the last 4 years, and though they are well-received, I feel they lack a common theme as I wrote about lessons I learned over that time.

Do you think I should try to publish those poems, or should I start over with a theme in mind?


Wow, 300 is great!

I would publish a "best of" book. Poems don't need a common theme as people understand one poem doesn't need to necessarily be connected to another. Lessons learned over time is a sufficient theme.

To get a "best of" book take the 300 and take a few months to figure which ones are the best of the best. Use A vs B testing, asking people which do they like best, A or B, B or C, etc. etc. until you get the top 50 or 100.


That's great advice, thank you! I will do exactly as you said, and try to make a best of book based on me! I will try to complete the book before the end of the year. I think that would boost my self-confidence a lot, to publish my first book! I will also go back and modify some of my poems so they reflect the vision I have for them. When I finish the book I will let you know.
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