Avoidance

Postby tashlentine » Thu May 18, 2017 2:46 pm

Why do I always go out of my way to avoid doing important things?
From paying bills to getting my deposit from a rental flat back - I know logically that the longer I leave it the worse/more difficult it will get but for some reason I go out of my way to avoid doing it by finding other 'important' things I 'need' to do first.
I have been like this since I was a child. With me it is usually centred around money. It takes a threat like a final notice coming through from the gas company or my bank account getting empty to actually do something about it. I have found ways to work around certain situations like setting rent and bills up as direct debits so I don't have to think about it, but it doesn't prevent it from happening in other areas.

My boyfriend is exactly the same - he is constantly running on credit because he doesn't get around to sending off his invoices for months. He is an incredibly smart and logical guy (although has ADD and struggles with focus) so it's not like he's too stupid to differentiate actual priorities vs invented priorities used as avoidance.

It's a huge part of my character and his that we both resent in ourselves, we are both aware that we are finding things to do to avoid doing the other thing yet find it very difficult to change or behaviour here or to understand why we do it.

Any ideas?
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#1

Postby Translucent » Fri May 19, 2017 3:47 pm

Sounds like both of you have other priorities in life. That's ok. But whenever I have duties to perform, I like to do them first so I don't have to think about them later. It clears my mind so I can focus on what's important to me, like learning.
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#2

Postby tashlentine » Wed May 24, 2017 3:36 pm

Hmm... well if they're priorities that are created out of avoidance that doesn't really help either of us lol Your way is a much better way to do it I think. There's a saying for your way of thinking isn't there - 'eat the frog'?
I suppose it's human nature to avoid the unpleasant, but if it's done and out of the way quicker it becomes less of a mountain! I'll try and do them first and see if it makes any difference to how I feel about those tasks :)
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