Anger Help.

Postby honeybee_96 » Sat May 20, 2017 3:53 am

Hello, I have never posted on a forum before but I thought why not, maybe someone with more anger management experience can help me. I am 20 year old woman, and I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 17, but I know i've had anxiety ever since I was a child. All my life, I have never been so angry enough to throw stuff or cuss someone out or anything like that. Well, maybe last year, I started to get really angry and I would start hitting myself because I didn't want to look ridiculous or anything and hit walls, so ive had so bad bruises on my legs and arms from doing it. I think all this started when I had to start taking care of my 75 year old diabetic grandfather who doesn't do what he's suppose to (he doesn't eat right, he doesnt do what he's told, he's stubborn) and if he suffers, we all suffer. I have to wake up in the middle of the night for him, and it doesnt matter if I have work or not the next day, if he wants something then and there, I have to drop what I'm doing and do what he says and wait on him hand and foot, and he still says I never do anything for him. I cook, I help him with him meds and pills and all that, and I still get treated like trash. I've been to a psychologist for medication for my depression, but my anger just popped up out of nowhere. I've broken things of mine, I've cussed out my grandfather, I've hit and slapped myself, almost ripped my hair out. I even went to a mental health facility for 6 days because I lost it and thought I was going to kill myself. Is there anything I can do to help myself? I'm going to call a therapist soon to try and get professional help, but it's eating me alive. I hate getting angry all the time, and I've never dealt with this before so I just do what I can to relief it (self harm). if I sound ignorant or if I said something wrong, I really didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings and please tell me so I know for next time. Thank you, any help is appreciated and welcomed.
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Postby Leo Volont » Sat May 20, 2017 11:51 am

Hi Honeybee,

Welcome to the Forum. Yes, from what you explained of your History, you are NOT an Angry Person. After all, your Name is Honey Bee! In ordinary circumstances you are probably delightful. What is happening to you now is that you are being Stressed Out and effectively Attacked, with these demands that you be a Live-In 24 Hour a Day Nurse Caregiver for a Demented and Senile Old Man. I would not worry about those Diagnoses for Anxiety and Depression. The Doctors make such diagnoses so they can prescribe those Prozac-Family Antidepressants – those Pills have become a Gold Mine for every major Pharmaceutical Company and I’ve heard that the Doctors get a Kick Back – “Commissions” is probably what they call it. But you can’t Believe any Diagnosis where the Doctors are More Financially Interested in you Being Sick then in you Being Well. You look at the Data for Any Illness nowadays where the Pharmaceutical Companies are paying Commissions to doctors for prescribing their Drugs. If you believe the Data, then the World is becoming Sicker than it ever has been Before. I prefer to think that the Doctors have become corrupt and a few need to go to jail to be examples for all the others.

But about your Situation. Who is making you be a 24 Hour a Day Caregiver?

You ARE twenty years old. You are NOT a prisoner. Yes, you may THINK that you have no choice. If you indeed have no choice then you must learn to live with your lot. But, have you really thought about your Options? If you have gone to school and have all the required certificates, you could join your Nation’s Armed Forces and get out of the house and save up some money for University later on. I was able to join the Peace Corps back in my Day.

But, the Old Man IS old and if his diabetes is advanced, you could hope that the precarious state of his Mortality will soon liberate you from your oppressions. I would not advise actively doing anything that would aggravate his ill health, but I also would not be overly solicitous for him either. You might have to ask a Lawyer, but you should wonder about just how much responsibility you must take in making the Old Man’s Decisions for Himself. For instance, if he WANTS to eat something BAD, are you Legally obliged to actively stop him? If not, then let him eat himself to death.

In some Ancient Cultures, the Young People simply refused to be discomfited by the demands of caring for troublesome Old People. Up to a Point the Elders would be shown Great Respect, but when they would become more of a Burden than they seemed to be Worth they would simply be shunted aside – encouraged to go for a long cold walk out into the Night and Not Come Back. In Modern Times we have Nursing Homes which are a more Civilized and Humane Version of the Long Cold Walk In the Night from which there is No Return.

That this Old Man has become a burden on a 20 Year Old Woman first Starting Out on Her Life, well, it just shows that our Civilization has broken down. It Shouldn’t Work like That. Your Life simply Matters More. There is Hope in You. There is no possible Hope left in him. He had his Life. You should be allowed to have yours.
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