Anxiety and Weird Thoughts. PLEASE help.

Postby Laracada » Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:54 pm

I feel I have developed a phobia from the story im about to mention.... ................................. I have a best friend who I love so dearliy and I am so loyal to her, around 3 months ago she accused me of being a liar about a certain topic and I kept telling her that I wasn't lying and I began to cry so deeply begging her to believe me, but instead, she didn't care at all, kicked me out of her house and made sure to hurt my feelings to the maximum....... as I was out in the car crying her father comes out to me and asks me to come in, me, due to having a forigivng and soft heart I just entered hoping all will be good. she was still rude to me so I ended up again leaving the house as I was crying... I began to itch my skin till it bleeded and I felt so much pain physical and emotional because I know how honest I am as a person and it makes me want to die especially if the closest person to me thinks otherwise.. so three days later she was 110% convinced that I was being honest and that I didn't lie.. I got upset with her that she even THOUGHT about it and im very sensitive so I felt like those 3 days were extremely traumatizing to me :(.... everyone, including my mom, tells me that my friends character is sooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard and that im the total opposite and that im extremely soft, kind, and merciful.

but I still love my bestfriend... and that's why I remained friends with her for the past few years... now after this incident.. my brain recalled something that happened 2 years ago.. my bestfriend told me a sad issue about her life (obviously I wouldn't tell anyone about it, but my friend knows that my mom is the most person I trust and ever since then I told her that I tell my mom absolutely EVERYTHING) now this thing that happened two years ago caused me anxiety all of a sudden.. its like what if my friend wouldn't like it.. or what if she would call me a backstabber for telling my mom... and I overexagerrated everything in my head, so I was facing a lot of anxiety and depression for about a month.. and later I told my friend about what happened two years ago. her response? she laughed and said its okay and theres no need to be anxious about it........ so I remained calm after that... until.......... 3 days later I go to my hairdressed and as she was doing my eyebrows she asked me about my friend (Since my friend always comes along) and I told her shes at home.. so the hairdresser was like.. so does she live here or abroad? I said no. she lives here with her family and that she wouldn't leave me to go to another country anyway (in a joking manner).... the moment I stepped out of the saloon I got an anxiety attack. Thinking WHAT IFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I did tell her the secret.. what iffff I did... and I freaked out and began to cry and I actually went back to the saloon and asked the hairdresser why did she ask me about my friend and she said simply because she wasn't with me.... and then I told my friend about my anxiety and how I IMAGINED that I told the hairdresser about her secret..... and again my friend took it so lightly and said are u crazy? I feel youre going crazy..

and I agree.............................. because I feel im freaking out for nothing :(........................................... please help me.......... I need help that would relieve me.. and please no harsh comments... also note that sometimes im calm about this topic.. and other times the thoughts just replay in my head telling me that ( you did it you did it.. and make me feel all guilty till I get anxiety all over and cry :( )
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Postby samthecat19 » Wed Jul 12, 2017 3:34 pm

i experience this as well, i get what i would say is extreme guilt over something small and then i freak myself out and cry until i've either apologized to someone or talked to my mother about it.
when this starts happening though just try to remind yourself that this is not as big as your anxiety is making it. anxiety will amplify any thought we allow it to amplify, so when you get anxcious/feel guilt over something that doesn't matter - remind yourself just that. it doesn't matter.
i know it's easier said than done, i still have a lot of junk thoughts that i need to get rid of myself.
you're better than this illness!!
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