Suspicious about cheating with no reason

Postby Needusername » Tue Jul 04, 2017 3:04 pm

Hi, this is my first post, so bear with me. Sorry if this is under the wrong category.

So I've been together with my girlfriend for just over a year. I do love her, and we've barely had a disagreement the past year, not even a single fight.

Our relationship is strong, we can share anything with each other and are both supportive of one another.

For some reason, I have somehow grown suspicious of her possibly cheating on me, with absolutely zero evidence, motivation or reason as to why.

I have been hurt before, but not by her. The past 2 nights she has gone out with friends (2 close female friends) while I stay at home (we don't live together). They obviously interact with other men, but I know for sure she wouldn't do anything that I suspect, or even consider it. We were talking one of those nights, and she even told me that she doesn't want me to be paranoid and that she is mine, and vice versa.

I know Alcohol changes behaviour, not morals. (Obviously they drink when they go out).

We both love each other and have talked about our future together. I hate this feeling of suspicion and I am afraid that this could harm our relationship.

Sorry if this sounds pathetic, it kind of is.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.
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#1

Postby Candid » Tue Jul 04, 2017 3:30 pm

Needusername wrote:I have somehow grown suspicious of her possibly cheating on me, with absolutely zero evidence, motivation or reason as to why.


The fastest way to give her motivation is being suspicious of her.
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#2

Postby Needusername » Tue Jul 04, 2017 3:34 pm

Candid wrote:
Needusername wrote:I have somehow grown suspicious of her possibly cheating on me, with absolutely zero evidence, motivation or reason as to why.


The fastest way to give her motivation is being suspicious of her.


Didnt realise a single sentence could make me so.. I can't even find the word.

Thank you. It's most likely because I miss her, haven't seen her in over a week.

Again, thanks.
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#3

Postby Livetowin » Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:21 pm

So you believe you have a strong relationship with someone you've never had a disagreement with, yet you think she might cheating, even though you can't point to anything in her character or previous experience to back that up? Wow. This is a relationship destined to end like others in your life because that's the direction you're steering it.

First let me say that not having a disagreement or argument is ZERO measure of a relationship's merits. Quite the contrary. If you can't express yourself in an open and sincere manner, maybe the issues that arise, (like this one you're having), will politely end the relationship as well. You can't pick and choose when to communicate with your partner or step outside to take a poll. And her responsibility to you is not to comfort the issues of your past that you have not resolved for yourself.

If she has to own the previous sins of others, then you might as well end it today, because this kind of obsession over feelings that are strictly yours will not be something her or really anyone else will find much understanding for. Relationships are not about someone catering to your old wounds. You are responsible for your own actions. If unresolved drama from your past makes you distrustful in a relationship, then you need to sit yourself down and work out those emotions or you will sabotage this one as well.

Lasting relationships are filled with miscues, mistakes, and each of us not being at our best. You are currently trying to measure this like a perfect race. That's got an expiration on it, I can assure you. If you are already suspect over innocent gestures, then you will be completely paralyzed over real life moments that require understanding and forgiveness. Don't go into relationships as a victim because you are subconsciously aligning yourself to look for that fall again. Be honest about you and your past and resolve those issues and understand they are specific to you and that other person and not to the present. I wish you best of luck.
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