42 and stuck

[CleanSlate]

Hello folks. I'm new here. I'm 42 years old and I'm really, really stuck in life. It's very unfortunate. I do feel I can contribute to society. I'm a hard worker when it comes to things I'm passionate about. But lately I've been an absolute shell of myself. The problem is I have no real qualifications. My resume is a disaster, like I have to literally lie on almost everything to "look good." And because of this I'm terrified to submit my resume. It's embarrassingly bad. And I know any decent job won't hire me. So now I'm stuck doing Uber close to full time and I'm at my witts end. I just feel I'm wasting my abilities doing something so mundane.

So basically I have a dead-end job. No degree. Barely any savings. It's like I've lost all passion for life. I constantly watch and read about successful people and I'm so envious of their work ethics. I know it requires hard work and dedication to be successful, I totally get it, but because I've grown up with such terrible habits it's really caught up to me now and I'm paying the price heavily. I live with my mother. I've never had my own place and I'm embarrassed to meet a woman because of what she'll think of me.

And the worst part is everyone in my family is married or in a relationship, me on the other hand, single. My family and friends constantly ask me why I'm always single. It's like they feel sorry for me. I'm not a bad looking dude. I dress nice. I have a decent car, so it's not all bad but still, for my age and ideas I shouldn't be such a loser. That's how I feel, like a loser. Sometimes I just freeze in thought and can't believe my situation. It almost feels surreal. Like I can't believe the state I'm in. I"m constantly daydreaming of a life that could've been. It's so sad and pathetic.

I guess part of the reason why I quit the things I DO want to do is because they require time and energy and for some dog-gone reason I'm so impatient and unwilling to sacrifice. I can't seem to sit my butt down and focus. I guess a huge part of me feels so overwhelmed by my situation that I can't seem to focus. It really makes me want to breakdown and cry all the time when I feel this way because I literally feel chained to my negative thoughts. It's like I've convinced myself that I'm incapable of achievement and this is what scares me the most. I've lost all belief in myself. I don't know who I am anymore.

Here's the saddest of it all, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE RIGHT NOW. I'M IN PERFECT POSITION TO CHANGE MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER. And yet I'm here, writing this post.

I pray to God all the time to just give me a push, a nudge in the right direction. I seriously need outside help. I don't expect things handed to me but I certainly pray for some good luck or something, anything because right about now I'm totally stuck. I mean I'm literally, mentally blocked. I fully realize all this agony and feelings of being stuck is my creation, I totally get it but I can't seem to break from this awful, awful mindset.

Can anyone relate? If so, how did you pull through this? I need all the positive advice I can get. Is there a book of recommendation, something? Thank you in advance.

[sunflower15]

One time when I was very stuck I went to see a human givens therapist. It's short focused therapy to move you forward and if I had the money I'd go back and have another go because it was so insightful - as you can see, I'm still stuck in one area of having a low income - but thats due to health issues - oops, that's another .......

Seriously I'd recommend it.

[CleanSlate]

One time when I was very stuck I went to see a human givens therapist. It's short focused therapy to move you forward and if I had the money I'd go back and have another go because it was so insightful - as you can see, I'm still stuck in one area of having a low income - but thats due to health issues - oops, that's another .......

Seriously I'd recommend it.

What is a human givens therapist? Sorry, but I'm confused by your post. Thanks for posting, nevertheless.

[sunflower15]

I ought to have put a link to their website which explains, sorry, here it is :-

https://www.hgi.org.uk/human-givens/int ... man-givens

there may be other useful therapies, but this one I've liked the best that I tried

[sunflower15]

PS pretty sure the therapist I saw did skype sessions, but realise one to one is best

[mindful entrepreneur]

I had this same mindset 6 years ago. How I came out of it was I stopped feeling sorry for myself. Thats number 1.
2. I knew that if things were going to change for me that I would have to change them. I realized no one was going to feel sorry for and my situation.

Right now it seems like you are your own worst enemy. And you have limiting beliefs. One thing you have to stop doing is making excuses why you can't do this and do that. Then go off and start complaining about your situation. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

It will take lots of sacrifice for you to step out on faith to start doing things that will bring you pleasure in life. Humans are goal oriented. We are at our most happiest times when we are progressing towards something that we want to achieve.

What's your passion? Is there anything out there you like to do that you can turn into a business? 85% of the American population hate the jobs they work regardless how good the income may be. Find something you love to do. Create plan and most importantly take action on the plan.

Take a look at the books listed below. These books opened my eyes and world up to endless possibilities. These books helped me get out a rut I was in similar to your situation. Now I live a prosperous abundant life filled with joy everyday. But it took lots of sacrifice, action and hard work.

Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
The Magic of Thinking Big by Dr. David Shwartz
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg
The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
Secrets of the millionaire mind by T. Harv Ecker
Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles

Hope this helps. And Cheers to your new life and all the success that is awaiting you.

[meaningfull]

Hey CleanSlate, perhaps you can check out the free stuff I've created about meaningful living at meaningfull.life. My focus is meaning research and coaching based on positive psychology.

Fulfillment isn't always about finding or pursuing a passion. Sometimes it's just about being able to find the meaning in any given situation.

[MrPossibility]

Hi CleanSlate,

Well I can certainly relate to your story! That has been me for a long time, many years in fact. So yes, I can totally empathize with you. It has taken me a long time to finally start moving on my goals, dreams and desires.

The shift for me happened when I turned 49 last year, and I realized the state I was in financially and how unfulfilled I was at work. My job is great, but it's not fulfilling. So this year I turned 50 and started to get a really clear picture that if I don't go after my dreams now, I will continue to live a mediocre life! What kind of option is that?!

Thinking of what life would be like 20 years from now, unhealthy, fast approaching a retirement home with little money and rotting away... what a disaster! THIS THOUGHT is what has had me get clear on my goals, reawaken my dreams, and feeding my desires! I'm building up a business in Mind Power, self-development. Last summer I created 30 videos in 30 days about how to Free Your Mind. It's a fun, and interesting way to shift how your mind works! It turned it into an online course called the 30 day Free Your Mind Online Training. Now it has become my first product that I am selling and building my business with it!

Don't get me wrong, it's hard work and it will take great effort on your part. You have to DESIRE it! But you're worth it, no? Do you truly want a better life? You need to change your routine because your mind and body work like the software and hardware of a computer. If you don't INTENTIONALLY feed it the right stuff, it will run the same programming year after year, till your 52, then 62, then 72, and if you make it, 82 and very little will change. How does that feel? Sucks, right?

So now you have it, your answers are NOT out there! They are within you! Mindful Entrepreneur has some great wisdom and book suggestions for you, heed them, read them! Also follow your guidance on what speaks to YOU.

Your spirit knows what you really want, start feeding that side instead of feeding the things you don't want. I believe in you. You mirror what my life was like just a couple years ago! I hold vision for you to have a breakthrough and Free Your Mind!