Hello folks. I'm new here. I'm 42 years old and I'm really, really stuck in life. It's very unfortunate. I do feel I can contribute to society. I'm a hard worker when it comes to things I'm passionate about. But lately I've been an absolute shell of myself. The problem is I have no real qualifications. My resume is a disaster, like I have to literally lie on almost everything to "look good." And because of this I'm terrified to submit my resume. It's embarrassingly bad. And I know any decent job won't hire me. So now I'm stuck doing Uber close to full time and I'm at my witts end. I just feel I'm wasting my abilities doing something so mundane.
So basically I have a dead-end job. No degree. Barely any savings. It's like I've lost all passion for life. I constantly watch and read about successful people and I'm so envious of their work ethics. I know it requires hard work and dedication to be successful, I totally get it, but because I've grown up with such terrible habits it's really caught up to me now and I'm paying the price heavily. I live with my mother. I've never had my own place and I'm embarrassed to meet a woman because of what she'll think of me.
And the worst part is everyone in my family is married or in a relationship, me on the other hand, single. My family and friends constantly ask me why I'm always single. It's like they feel sorry for me. I'm not a bad looking dude. I dress nice. I have a decent car, so it's not all bad but still, for my age and ideas I shouldn't be such a loser. That's how I feel, like a loser. Sometimes I just freeze in thought and can't believe my situation. It almost feels surreal. Like I can't believe the state I'm in. I"m constantly daydreaming of a life that could've been. It's so sad and pathetic.
I guess part of the reason why I quit the things I DO want to do is because they require time and energy and for some dog-gone reason I'm so impatient and unwilling to sacrifice. I can't seem to sit my butt down and focus. I guess a huge part of me feels so overwhelmed by my situation that I can't seem to focus. It really makes me want to breakdown and cry all the time when I feel this way because I literally feel chained to my negative thoughts. It's like I've convinced myself that I'm incapable of achievement and this is what scares me the most. I've lost all belief in myself. I don't know who I am anymore.
Here's the saddest of it all, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE RIGHT NOW. I'M IN PERFECT POSITION TO CHANGE MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER. And yet I'm here, writing this post.
I pray to God all the time to just give me a push, a nudge in the right direction. I seriously need outside help. I don't expect things handed to me but I certainly pray for some good luck or something, anything because right about now I'm totally stuck. I mean I'm literally, mentally blocked. I fully realize all this agony and feelings of being stuck is my creation, I totally get it but I can't seem to break from this awful, awful mindset.
Can anyone relate? If so, how did you pull through this? I need all the positive advice I can get. Is there a book of recommendation, something? Thank you in advance.