Relationships

Postby Bellbell » Sun Jul 30, 2017 5:40 pm

So I'm a very big romantic. I can imagine tons of cute scenarios in my head with perspective guys I'm interested in. The only problem is I like them so much but when they start liking me back I start picking out all their flaws and not liking them anymore. Please help me I really want to be able to maintain a relationship because I don't think I've ever been in a relationship, only short flings.
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#1

Postby HumanB » Mon Jul 31, 2017 12:11 am

Answer yourself honestly what interested you about these guys in the first place?
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#2

Postby Livetowin » Fri Aug 18, 2017 3:48 pm

That's a simple question to answer. If you seek a long term relationship instead of a shallow half hour, then quit treating them as such. Long term relationships do not work because two people are perfect. Quite the contrary. It's because they love one another despite their imperfections. They don't last because they say all the right things at the right time nor dress perfectly every time. They don't last because they always know how to be witty and charming and make you feel good every time you're feeling inadequate. We're all flawed.

Long term relationships work through understanding and forgiveness not running a perfect race. That's make-believe and fantasy. In reality you need to put away the wild fantasies and understand you only control yourself. A good person and secure individual wants the same from you. If you're looking at more than one and treating them like you have the final say then you might want to step back and ask yourself if you have the slightest idea how you look. That's pretty bad...and presumptuous.

If I were in your shoes I would start working on myself and figure out who it is I am as a person so that when I see others I view them as people, not puppets to orchestrate a prescribed outcome. You might feel like you're in control right now, but you're actually only determining the end before it's ever started. A real person with good intentions meets the other half way and keeps an honest dialogue...free of agendas. Respect the other person and don't waste their time if your eyes are already wandering to someone else. That only demonstrates a lack of commitment.
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